How much info is too much when messaging on online dating sites? (marriage, guy)
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I've been on a couple online dating sites for a close to a year now and haven't had much luck. However, I recently connected with a guy who seems legit. We've each exchanged several very long emails on the dating site and have chatted on the phone a few times. Also texted as well. We have a date set up soon. In these emails, some personal things have been asked about me, such as whether I want kids, what I do for a living, what my hobbies/interests are, and general questions about my family (e.g. how many siblings, etc). The feeling that I am getting from him is that he's definitely ready to settle down and get married and have kids. Not that I don't want that as long as it's with the right person, but I'm wondering if I should be concerned at all that he might be moving too fast, i.e. thinking too far ahead of himself. I'm not at all exaggerating when I say that he's already started thinking way ahead in terms of future travel plans. Anyway, I know there's not always a clear cut answer when it comes to dating/online dating, but just wondering in general how much info should be exchanged prior to the first date and how much info is too much?
Whether you want kids is a very personal question that does have serious implications for the future, but it is also a dealbreaker for many.
So it's good to get that kind of stuff in the open early. That way you don't waste your time (or your emotions) getting involved with someone who, come to find out, does NOT want the same things you want.
I don't see a problem with any of the other questions you listed.
Wmsn4Life, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with those other questions either. I'm just wondering if there are certain things that seem like too much, too soon when communicating prior to the first date. He's already started to make lists of countries we should travel to.
Wmsn4Life, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with those other questions either. I'm just wondering if there are certain things that seem like too much, too soon when communicating prior to the first date. He's already started to make lists of countries we should travel to.
The "we" part is pretty presumptuous.
Next time he does it, just say something like, "I think we should go out on an actual date before we plan any overseas adventures."
I've been on a couple online dating sites for a close to a year now and haven't had much luck. However, I recently connected with a guy who seems legit. We've each exchanged several very long emails on the dating site and have chatted on the phone a few times. Also texted as well. We have a date set up soon. In these emails, some personal things have been asked about me, such as whether I want kids, what I do for a living,what my hobbies/interests are, and general questions about my family (e.g. how many siblings, etc). The feeling that I am getting from him is that he's definitely ready to settle down and get married and have kids. Not that I don't want that as long as it's with the right person, but I'm wondering if I should be concerned at all that he might be moving too fast, i.e. thinking too far ahead of himself. I'm not at all exaggerating when I say that he's already started thinking way ahead in terms of future travel plans. Anyway, I know there's not always a clear cut answer when it comes to dating/online dating, but just wondering in general how much info should be exchanged prior to the first date and how much info is too much?
Be open with those question saving your time and protecting you from getting hurt. Did you ask what you are willing to know from him?
I've been on a couple online dating sites for a close to a year now and haven't had much luck. However, I recently connected with a guy who seems legit. We've each exchanged several very long emails on the dating site and have chatted on the phone a few times. Also texted as well. We have a date set up soon. In these emails, some personal things have been asked about me, such as whether I want kids, what I do for a living, what my hobbies/interests are, and general questions about my family (e.g. how many siblings, etc). The feeling that I am getting from him is that he's definitely ready to settle down and get married and have kids. Not that I don't want that as long as it's with the right person, but I'm wondering if I should be concerned at all that he might be moving too fast, i.e. thinking too far ahead of himself. I'm not at all exaggerating when I say that he's already started thinking way ahead in terms of future travel plans. Anyway, I know there's not always a clear cut answer when it comes to dating/online dating, but just wondering in general how much info should be exchanged prior to the first date and how much info is too much?
I hate when I get those questions from someone on the 1st phone conversation because to me it just screams desperation. She doesn't even know if we will connect once we meet face to face so those questions about kids and marriage should not be asked that early in the getting to know process.
You won't know anything until you meet. This could all be "fantasy role playing" or it could be a real connection. If you don't want to reveal too much, or think things are jumping too far ahead, you can slow it down by directing the conversation to more neutral subjects. As long as you have a date to meet soon (SOON) it shouldn't matter.
Not to sound prude or anything--maybe I just don't know too much about some Dos and Don'ts of online dating--but he asked me what my last name is and I jokingly said he'd find out eventually. Honestly when it comes to online dating and meeting someone for the first time, I'm all about safety first. Once he knows my full name, a simple search on the internet using my full name, city of residence, and my profession can give away my exact work location. I'm not okay with that. Am I being unreasonable not wanting to tell him my last name before we ever even meet?
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