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My 16 yr old daughter observed to me that the only time she and her BF ever get into disagreements or get irritated with each other is when they communicate over text message. When they are together they get along perfectly.
She said she feels they "say" things via text that they would never say face to face or even over the phone.
Does anyone else experience this? I can't say I have myself but I have witnessed it. People have posted here about text arguments and even breaking up based on what their BF/GF has texted.
Does texting create a danger zone for relationships? Or are some people just poor communicators in the written word?
Texting lacks the nonverbal cues that face to face conversations and even phone calls have. I think we know that. As a result, sometimes it's hard to convey tone, even with emoticons.
My boyfriend and I now have a deal where texting is limited to casual stuff, like "how was your day?" or "would you like to come over?" Anything beyond that is done in person or on FaceTime.
I found that to be the case much more when younger, but the older I got, it disappeared. I especially learned that to bring negative things up over a text was stupid regardless. It gives the person tons of time to think or not reply, you can't read their facial cues, hear their tone, etc.
With my current gf now I can't ever think of anything I would text her that would cause an issue or anything I've ever even said or asked her about that a text would be different than in person or on the phone. I can't think of the last time I've even had an argument with her that could have possibly been done over a text lol.
I spend 12 hours at work, texting is a great way to keep in touch with hubby. We started texting when we were just getting to know one another. We lived in different countries so it was a convenient way to keep communication flowing. We don't have any issues with it but I think it's because we have developed a mutual understanding and a similar style. We're also older.
I don't think texting causes anymore trouble than anything else that's used to not communicate in person. Phone, e-mail, internet.
I think basically it's just the people,. If they are scared or intimidated to say something to someone's face, they text-wasn't it sending letters in older days? Texting is just quicker, so it may be done more, but it's the people. Technology is good, people are the questionable ones.
Same as cutting someone out. You just stop talking to them. They call, you don't answer. They text, you don't reply. Now if they show up at your house, you may have an issue lol
Think about it...even from a standpoint of discussion on forums, people are much more willing to be more frank, blunt, and even combative when it's words on a screen than they ever would be face-to-face. Is their issue that they're using text to say things they aren't comfortable saying to one another in person? If so, there are issues that need to be worked out.
I, personally, have never had sniping back-and-forth via text, but I'm a married 37-year old, so it's really not part of my world. If I wanna dispute something with my husband, I do so face to face, hah. Texts are for, "Can you pick up dog food?" and "I put our name in at the restaurant, what's your ETA?" and not really so much for heartfelt conversations. Teens? Different story.
Text messages are impersonal and doesn't display idiosyncratic non-verbal behavior such as vocal intonations..
When we read text messages, there is a chance possibility for miscommunication or misunderstanding, because texting is first of all, instantaneous, it doesn't require too much thought or forethought; secondly, it's kinda like a McDonald's version of sending letters back then: cheap, commidified, requires least effort. The whole transaction in itself (when replaced with actual ph calling) is kinda minimizing and depersonalized.
In between that mix, people can get easily irritated with one another through words that show up on a screen that don't really convey feelings and emotions like IRL.
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