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I have a coworker who is in his late 40's. Average looking, average career, house, no debt, no kids, never married.
He is the big sh$t because he has no baggage and is available. He can freely choose women and has a new gf every half year. If they get too difficult, he gets a new one ..Not saying you should do that, but saying you have probably plenty options but don't realize it.
I think you have very good chances in the dating pool cuz you obviously have your crap together and no naggy exwife or child support to pay.
Just go out more and be open to meeting women and it will happen.
Why give up, you still have a long life ahead of you? Just because you are single now does not mean you are doomed to stay so. It's like a finding a job or career, just because you don't have one does not mean it will remain the case forever.
Makes no sense. You are defeating yourself if you give up.
According to one poster recently, OLD sites seem to be brimming with older women looking to get hitched. Have you tried those yet?
I wouldn't put much stock in what your mother is telling you. I think that's what all mothers think, particularly if they are "old school". Fortunately for me, my younger sister took off any pressure from me to have kids when she gave birth to my niece. But at the end of the day, who cares.
Personally, I don't think you're ever too old to find someone. I'm 10 years younger than you and I'm fretting my relationship status as well. I have what I consider to be a decent career, I'm college-educated, I take care of myself, I'm amicable...the list goes on. You may think you're doing all the right things, but somehow it's just not working out. Honestly, I wish I had something better to tell you. I guess the best thing you can do is keep putting yourself out there and hope something catches on.
I don't get women, and who knows if I ever will. They say they want certain things. You try to offer these things and more, and you get rejected, or worse, aren't even given the chance. I always thought I was decent looking, had a little charisma. I have guy friends and lady friends who think I'm great. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And that's why I can't offer you much more in the form of advice. I can only offer you encouragement at this point. Keep trying. At least in other aspects in my life, I've found that if you try hard enough, you usually accomplish the goals you set out to accomplish.
This sounds like me, only I'm 6 years older than the OP. It sucks for me. As someone else mentioned, try to find new things to do and travel. I'm trying that, only I hate traveling alone, as I'm an introvert and don't tend to meet people wherever I go. Its really hard. At least you know there are people who can relate. Lafleur, I don't really find the older women looking to get married on OLD sites to be true. I guess it depends on your definition of older, as well as what part of the country you live in. God, I wish I was still in Atlanta, as it probably is true there.
I have a coworker who is in his late 40's. Average looking, average career, house, no debt, no kids, never married.
He is the big sh$t because he has no baggage and is available. He can freely choose women and has a new gf every half year. If they get too difficult, he gets a new one ..Not saying you should do that, but saying you have probably plenty options but don't realize it.
I think you have very good chances in the dating pool cuz you obviously have your crap together and no naggy exwife or child support to pay.
Just go out more and be open to meeting women and it will happen.
In theory, this makes total sense. I'm similar to the guy in your office (except I'm divorced, but no kids). I can't make it work out here in the Midwest, thats for sure.
Impossible for me to say since, unlike some people on this board, I actually believe that what you look like, and what you are looking for, makes a big difference.
I have a coworker who is in his late 40's. Average looking, average career, house, no debt, no kids, never married.
He is the big sh$t because he has no baggage and is available. He can freely choose women and has a new gf every half year. If they get too difficult, he gets a new one ..Not saying you should do that, but saying you have probably plenty options but don't realize it.
I think you have very good chances in the dating pool cuz you obviously have your crap together and no naggy exwife or child support to pay.
Just go out more and be open to meeting women and it will happen.
Basically this. I don't have much experience dating women over 40 but dating women in their 30's has been a cakewalk compared to anything before. There are TONS of women in that age bracket looking, and looking HARD.
My father had me at 45. So cool your jets there, buddy.
If you want to find someone though, I think you need to distance yourself from your doomsaying mother and find a way to be happy. There was so much misery and hopelessness in your post, I got depressed. Nobody's gonna want to date a guy who reeks of desperation and disappointment. Fix that, and then think about dating.
Look, I'm 38, single, and my biological clock is probably on the verge of imploding because I'm a chick, and my ovaries are most likely shriveled raisins. I really couldn't give a crap. My life is not exactly meaningless just because I haven't spawned. I adore children, and they tend to flock to me. I just don't really have much of an investment in whether I pass on my genes or leave a legacy or whatever.
Why are you so invested in having kids and why is it a measure of your success or failure in life? Short of doing something immensely historical, most of us are forgotten within 100 years or so, whether we have kids or not anyway. My grandfather was an interesting person, but he was dead some 20 years before I was born, and almost everyone who knew him in any meaningful way is now dead. As his only grandchild, I'm the last person who will think of him in any meaningful way. Then he'll just be an entry in some historical records no one cares about.
And if you need someone to love or to love you, well, maybe it's time to start building meaningful relationships with other people rather than putting that burden onto your hypothetical children. Get a dog. Make connections with other humans. Develop some interests and hobbies that bring you into proximity with others. My mother has a wide-ranging social circle, but she was very unhappy for a long time - she expected her child's love to buoy her happiness rather than creating her own happiness. It put a lot of pressure on me. Don't do that to a kid - be a functional adult.
You're focusing on the wrong stuff right now. You need to focus on becoming a well-rounded and happy person, and then you can focus on building a relationship with someone with an eye to spending your future with them and having children. Or you can go an alternate route to have children. But first, make sure you're happy (or at least content) and mentally sound.
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