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complaining is just another form of working it out for some
its exasperating the emotion out of a situation to think with a clear mind
if that's what it takes for some people to make the right choices for themselves, who am i do tell them to stop?
if your complaining never results in anything constructive to your circumstance its also not my issue...i just skip your posts or don't reply. if people don't get it the first three times chances are they wont get it a fourth, fifth, sixth etc etc
their issues are not just what they proclaim if they never "learn" to move away from things that have negatives affects on themselves
not everyone thinks the same ways. while the "problems" may all be solved with very logical thought and sequences and events, its nothing without the person having an understanding in "their" minds first in order to see and want the resolution they speak of
Last edited by rego00123; 10-10-2014 at 02:39 PM..
I have some mild social anxiety, but I want to meet and mingle with women. So I usually take a shot or two of whiskey before I go to a social event just to take the edge off. It definitely helps me break the ice, and once you become comfortable with the person, it's smooth sailing from there. They just become another person in your life, like a friend or family member.
Maybe you can try this technique if you're of drinking age.
My point is that it makes it easier to talk to them when "the edge" is taken off. Conversation goes smoother, you appear more confident. Women like men who are confident.
Talking to women while being half drunk isn't helping your issue at all. Its more like hiding it.
If talking to women is difficult for you, then you need to improve on it. Find ways to make it easier to talk to them like talking to everyone you see casually. Like sitting down at a coffee shop. Maybe sit near someone and ask what kind if coffee they got or what they're doing etc... Harmless small talk.
My point is that it makes it easier to talk to them when "the edge" is taken off. Conversation goes smoother, you appear more confident. Women like men who are confident.
I like your post and the advice you give. I think you're right on some points.
The only thing that annoys me, is that you basically write "needyness = feminine trait". BUT as a whole, the advice you give suits some men, as well as some women. Most women need to focus more on themselves, too. Find a hobby they enjoy, work on themselves and try to be truly happy, even when they don't have a partner.
But most women nowadays still think they need a guy, a partner, start a family,... whatever..., to feel truly complete. An illusion.
Neediness IS a feminine trait. I'm not putting women down on it or anything, I'm saying that women typically don't want a women as their spouse/dating partner etc..
I know some advice that apply to men apply to women, but for the most part, it does not apply.
There's nothing "wrong" per se with anything you say. Really, it's a rant about improving oneself for the sake of it, and letting the chips fall where they may afterwards, which includes women.
However, I have to make a few comments:
1. While cowering and asking for a second chance is not masculine per se, that does not mean that you can't honestly look at mistakes you made, in an effort to improve yourself. Whether that mistake was being too feminine, or cheating on her, don't let the OP's advice be misinterpereted as never admitting your own faults, after all, that's what the entire post is about, isn't it?
2. Some, no, MOST men, truly DO want a partner for more than sex. Yes, we ALSO want sex, but the rest of it matters too. Otherwise, just buy a hooker.
My point is that it makes it easier to talk to them when "the edge" is taken off. Conversation goes smoother, you appear more confident. Women like men who are confident.
Alcohol is only a temporary solution to lack of confidence or social anxiety. And how's it going to help you when you see a woman you want to talk to at an event, at the store, or anywhere outside of a party or bar/club? What's your plan--carry a little flask with you everywhere in case you run into someone you want to talk to? Solving your problems with alcohol will only lead to more problems.
I'm getting tired of reading all of the clueless posters here posting . . .
Not. A. Loser.
So now you ask: "So how do I overcome this weak and neediness? How do I become more successful with women?"
Right? ... Wrong. You still don't get it. It's not about women, it's about YOU."
so OP, let me respectfully disagree and suggest something for your to think about:
stop offering these "losers" advice. just stop and accept the fact that when a guy is ready to make a change in his life to improve his relationship with women, he will do it. and no amount of advice and encourage will help until he is ready to do so.
it's like the old psychiatry joke: how many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, but the lightbulb really really really has want to change
and here is another reason, survival of the fittest: not all men desire, are equipped, or are capable of developing a relationship with women. some men are just at the end of their genetic line for reproduction purposes, so no matter what advice you have to offer, won't make a difference for them. their dna was just unable to adapt to modern mating and reproduction challenges.
seriously, there is an old thread posted by one of our feminist regulars that has some revealing information regarding a CDC study indicating only 40% of men reproduce while 80% of women do. what does that mean?
--that means 40% of men are getting laid and having kids and the rest don't make it that far
--or more specifically, that means MEN COMPETE WITH OTHER MEN for finding women to reproduce with and to carry on their genetic matter into the future
yes, in other words, 60% of men are dead enders dna wise and the remaining 40% are banging 80% of women, with some men having multiple mommas.
so like i said, stop giving guys advice who aren't taking it anyway or sadly are looking for pity parties.
just stop, you are wasting band with and time you could be buring on yourself.
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