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I wonder if it would help if those of us who don't have trouble finding guys who want relationships talked about how we date?
When I date, I spend time with the person one on one, in the daytime, with no alcohol or drugs involved. We talk, mostly. We also eat, and do stuff together. Meeting each other's friends and doing group things comes later -- not in the first few weeks.
We see each other every few days for the first week or two. We don't do anything sexual (kissing, etc.) for the first few dates. After we have sex for the first time, we probably shift to seeing each other almost every day (not 100% every day).
Before we ever kiss or have sex, we talk about what we each are looking for. The man always initiates this convo, usually on the first date. We talk about whether we want something casual or serious.
This past year I turned 20 and I begin putting myself more into the 'dating' world. I'm pretty inexperienced with this stuff because growing up I've always been pretty shy but I'm finally becoming more comfortable with myself. Anyway, I've noticed that every time I'm talking to a guy the same pattern keeps repeating itself. We hangout and then we end up almost having sex. We hookup for a few weeks and then eventually the guy disappears or I lose interest.
I want to have an actual relationship with a guy where he respects and cares about me. I'm still a virgin and I'm waiting to either have a relationship before I take the next step or at least do it with someone who cares. Unfortunately, 90% of guys expect you to sleep with them or at least hope you will when you hang out. There's always a hidden agenda.
I'm talking to a kid right now and we've been going to each others houses to hangout but we don't go on real dates. I know that's not a good sign, but it really feels like people my age don't go on dates anymore. I just feel like I'm going to be waiting to have sex forever because I'm waiting for an unrealistic person to come into my life. Does anyone have any advice?
I usually assume that the guys I meet or talk to are not looking for serious relationships. How do I know who to take seriously?
Mod cut. I know we live in this stupid "hook up" culture where no one does the traditional thing anymore.
There are still some guys out there that will take you on a proper date and do the old school thing.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 09:49 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
Don't most girls learn this in middle school? If you give out sexual favors indiscriminately boys won't respect you and will never date you.
Good lord, my grandmother taught me that in 7th grade.
It wouldn't have mattered if you went all the way, he still wouldn't date you, because he assumes you would do it with any guy. You acted like a toy for boys.
I don't know. He obviously didn't refuse the offer but I would have. I think it just takes me a little while to warm up to people
I think it takes you a long time to feel comfortable with your sexuality and your body. It is normal and it is natural. It happens to a lot of women.
Mod cut.
Many women get very attached to men they slept with. Many women young or old have troubles separating sex from love. I am not a psychic but based on your posting history, I think you are perhaps one of these women.
You are only 20 and you will find a lot of men who want to take your virginity away from you for the sake of it. You will also find a lot of men who want to sleep with you for the sake of sex. At least find a drop dead gorgeous man who is also sensitive towards your feeling.
I know virginity is not as precious as it used to be. I also know eternity is not as long as it used to be. But think about five years from now when you meet your dream guy, would it be better to lose it to him?
I lost my virginity to a man I truly cared about. Even now I have no regrets. He is not the only man I loved but he is definitely one of them. I valued my virginity and so did he.
Think this over. Sex is easy to find and it is really not some kind of mysterious thing.
Take care of yourself sweetie. You sound like a sweetheart.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 09:57 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
You would have difficulty finding any women, anywhere, who thought any type of sex was 'too slow' . The slower it is, the hotter it is.
Atta Girl . Not really into sex right now, because I'm not the kind of guy fond of 1 night stands. Would much rather prefer lifelong relationships. And when it happens, Il'l make enough time for it.
Don't really want to say much about it. Indians are extremely reserved when it comes to discussing intimacy issues.
[Snip.] Guys don't like to admit it but they almost all feel this way to a certain extent. Girl who gives it up too easy = not relationship material.
Don't believe me? Ask them. Ask a lot of them.
There is a measure of truth to this.
I never really subscribed to it, but in my 45 yrs I've seen a lot of dudes make those comments about giving up the booty a little too quickly isn't always the best.....at least for her being a keeper.
Men like to feel like they are special and that is one of the ways...... you must like him, right? You didn't give it to Joe blow, but you felt he was special enough to share that with.
I never really subscribed to it, but in my 45 yrs I've seen a lot of dudes make those comments about giving up the booty a little too quickly isn't always the best.....at least for her being a keeper.
Men like to feel like they are special and that is one of the ways...... you must like him, right? You didn't give it to Joe blow, but you felt he was special enough to share that with.
It's basic psychology to a degree.....
Right and I agree with this when it's about sex. Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2014 at 10:04 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
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. The slower it is, the hotter it is.
. Not really into sex right now, because I'm not the kind of guy fond of 1 night stands. Would much rather prefer lifelong relationships. And when it happens, Il'l make enough time for it. 
