Why do some guys act cold towards the girl they like? (woman, love)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Most guys don't start off like this, it is usually only after a lot of rejection that men start behaving this way. I know I was putting myself out there all the time from like 18-21 and could barely get laid with the women I was interested in. Then it was very clear there was a such thing as leagues because once I lowered my standards I finally started getting some action. So after that I would only pay attention to women that I knew would be interested, why should a guy spend time on a women when he knows the odds are extremely low that she will be interested.
I would say that after age 21 or 22 women have to start putting themselves out there if they are interested in a guy because guys have already developed battle scars and they are going to be more careful about who they approach. Unless they are mr GQ and have never had to deal with tons of rejection.
Most guys don't start off like this, it is usually only after a lot of rejection that men start behaving this way.
It starts too young for that, though. How much rejection can a dude have racked up by 14 or 15? This is just good old-fashioned shyness or lack of confidence.
I'm a single mom with two teenage daughters and when ever the subject of why a guy (including grown men) did something comes up, the ultimate response is always "Boys are stupid!"
It starts too young for that, though. How much rejection can a dude have racked up by 14 or 15? This is just good old-fashioned shyness or lack of confidence.
That's a possibity but I know for myself I did not start acting like this until I was about 22. When it became clear that the type of woman I was interested in was not interested in me.
So yea at 14 or 15 there is no reason for anyone to act like that, but even then I can remember as early as jr high there were certain guys all the woman would swoon over and guys that they would not give the time of day too. Any guy can write that off as its teen age girls, even in high school but when you get to college if the tables don't turn then any smart guy will have to modify his game if he ever wants female lips around his d*ck. He will either stop paying attention to women who are not interested and start paying attention to women who are or he will suffer.
I like Tom Leykis, he is totally right. Why should women expect men to respond when these same men were rejected when they were at their peak sex drive and could have really used a regular BJ.
That's a possibity but I know for myself I did not start acting like this until I was about 22. When it became clear that the type of woman I was interested in was not interested in me.
So yea at 14 or 15 there is no reason for anyone to act like that, but even then I can remember as early as jr high there were certain guys all the woman would swoon over and guys that they would not give the time of day too. Any guy can write that off as its teen age girls, even in high school but when you get to college if the tables don't turn then any smart guy will have to modify his game if he ever wants female lips around his d*ck. He will either stop paying attention to women who are not interested and start paying attention to women who are or he will suffer.
I like Tom Leykis, he is totally right. Why should women expect men to respond when these same men were rejected when they were at their peak sex drive and could have really used a regular BJ.
It's not ALL about sex, you know.
I actually did know people in high school who did act like that, were very guarded and snarky and kept people at a distance. This was to prevent anyone from hurting them. So really, it does come down to that.
Even when I'm not interested in someone, unless they have wronged me in some way, I will still be pleasant to them. No reason to be cold or dismissive, that's just rude.
But I guess there have been times in my life when I've really liked someone but thought they didn't like me, so I was preemptively icy towards them. Guilty . It's an ego thing.
I actually did know people in high school who did act like that, were very guarded and snarky and kept people at a distance. This was to prevent anyone from hurting them. So really, it does come down to that.
Even when I'm not interested in someone, unless they have wronged me in some way, I will still be pleasant to them. No reason to be cold or dismissive, that's just rude.
But I guess there have been times in my life when I've really liked someone but thought they didn't like me, so I was preemptively icy towards them. Guilty . It's an ego thing.
But once you know your league you can dial in who you are selectively icy towards and who you KNOW will reciprocate your advances. I mean im not going to be a douch, I will smile and say hi but I wont invest any time or make a move on someone who is statistically likely to reject me.
And for guys, yes it really is all about sex. No guy wants to be the guy that's NOT getting a BJ when other guys are.
But once you know your league you can dial in who you are selectively icy towards and who you KNOW will reciprocate your advances. I mean im not going to be a douch, I will smile and say hi but I wont invest any time or make a move on someone who is statistically likely to reject me.
And for guys, yes it really is all about sex. No guy wants to be the guy that's NOT getting a BJ when other guys are.
There have been a good amount of guys in my life who have told me after the fact that they had had a crush on me for a long time. I never knew this and would never have guessed it, because they acted so cold towards me, aloof, to the point where I felt like they wanted nothing to do with me. I felt insignificant to them.
They said they acted that way because they didn't think I would go for them and they didn't want to put themselves out there to be shot down. But the truth is, had they just told me, it would have been a different story. Instead they acted like they didn't care if I existed.
Why do some guys do this? Are they that afraid of rejection that they'd rather hide their true feelings no matter what?
Women like a little chase. Can't make it too easy...gotta play it cool.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. It's an ego thing.
