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hello everyone! please ignore my silly username as i am bad at coming up with them!
i got married back on August 16th. my fiancé wasn't a virgin and i was. i
waited till we got married to have sex.
I was nervous and excited before it actually happened. but then it did and it all seemed disappointing.
he wasn't rough or anything but he wasn't particularly gentle.
There was lots of foreplay i just didn't like it.
Now since we got married we do it regularly but I'm still not liking it. It will feel good for like a minute or so but then it won't.
also, I have just been having the blues in general
partly is because now my husband and i live together but my parents live two hours away and I have been getting a little homesick for my mom and dad. I always lived with them and hung out with my younger siblings and we are tight knit and I am used to seeing them. I am still in college but now i have transferred close to our new place.
I talk to my mom on the phone every night and normally we talk about everything but I don't want to tell her any of this. I love my husband and being married is amazing but I still worry about the intimate stuff plus how homesick i have been feeling.
would counseling maybe help me? I have never had a reason to go but i am open minded to whatever would help me.
August 16th, like 2.5months ago? why don't you just give it sometime and yourself the liberty to explore your sexuality, likes and dislikes. try self pleasure, hopefully you did a little of that and discovered how to get an orgasm while you were waiting for "the one".
i'd wait a year before id consider counseling, when you suspect it may be more of a long-term situation and see if you guys haven't figured it out by then. same goes for the home sickness. good luck.
I would explore why it doesnt feel good. Is he doing something wrong? Is he like " ok lets screw" or is it passionate with love? Do you feel like you had this big dream about it and its a let down? Do you feel like because you were a virgin and he wasnt youre not good enough?
As for homesick, can you plan a 1-2x month get together? Skype?
hello everyone! please ignore my silly username as i am bad at coming up with them!
i got married back on August 16th. my fiancé wasn't a virgin and i was. i
waited till we got married to have sex.
I was nervous and excited before it actually happened. but then it did and it all seemed disappointing.
he wasn't rough or anything but he wasn't particularly gentle.
There was lots of foreplay i just didn't like it.
Now since we got married we do it regularly but I'm still not liking it. It will feel good for like a minute or so but then it won't.
also, I have just been having the blues in general
partly is because now my husband and i live together but my parents live two hours away and I have been getting a little homesick for my mom and dad. I always lived with them and hung out with my younger siblings and we are tight knit and I am used to seeing them. I am still in college but now i have transferred close to our new place.
I talk to my mom on the phone every night and normally we talk about everything but I don't want to tell her any of this. I love my husband and being married is amazing but I still worry about the intimate stuff plus how homesick i have been feeling.
would counseling maybe help me? I have never had a reason to go but i am open minded to whatever would help me.
Early stage of marriage for me also same. I moved to EU with my husband(ex). I lost total interest of intimacy. But by the time it become normal , I got engaged with sports clubs, and I joined to language school done by church and engaging to some kind of activities take your homesickness away.
I would explore why it doesnt feel good. Is he doing something wrong? Is he like " ok lets screw" or is it passionate with love? Do you feel like you had this big dream about it and its a let down? Do you feel like because you were a virgin and he wasnt youre not good enough?
As for homesick, can you plan a 1-2x month get together? Skype?
oh, yeah good one. feed the inexperience partner the message that it must be her partner's fault for her lack of sexual satisfaction. imho, she is a dud in bed, doesn't know what she is doing due to protracted virginity.
sorry, had to say it since i guess you figure all she has to do is lay there. i've had them kind too and there nothing worse than a cold fish. if she can't get herself off, no one can. nuff said.
oh, yeah good one. feed the inexperience partner the message that it must be her partner's fault for her lack of sexual satisfaction. imho, she is a dud in bed.
sorry, had to say since i guess you figure all she has to do is lay there. i've had them kind too and there nothing worse than a cold fish. if she can't get herself off, no one can. nuff said.
Im not feeding her anything, i was asking how her husband might be coming off to HER. That doesnt mean he is or intends to be that way. Maybe hes buying her roses every night or a drunk sex guy, i dont know.
Shes not a dud, shes just new. Sex isnt suppose to be just a good time, its suppose to be much, much more than that. She WAITED for her husband, which means she had respect for herself and her husband. She does not appear to see sex as something to throw around.
Im not feeding her anything, i was asking how her husband might be coming off to HER. That doesnt mean he is or intends to be that way. Maybe hes buying her roses every night or a drunk sex guy, i dont know.
Shes not a dud, shes just new. Sex isnt suppose to be just a good time, its suppose to be much, much more than that. She WAITED for her husband, which means she had respect for herself and her husband. She does not appear to see sex as something to throw around.
please, she doesn't need anymore idealized fantasies about sex. at a minimum it's supposed to be enjoyable and, yes, absolutely it can be more when love is involved. but we have a failure to launch problem, the love is there but the enjoyment part isnt'. for me, it took a little practice until i finally "got it" and when it comes to sex, the old maxim "know thy self" is key.
please, she doesn't need anymore idealized fantasies about sex.
Compared to society's version of what sex is?
We dont even know if the problem is him or her. They need to discuss it among themselves but realize that it needs to unite them, not separate them.
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