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OP - While there is nothing wrong with choosing a child-free lifestyle, I hope you have learned a valuable lesson from your fb posting as well as from sharing your choice with others elsewhere - which is that no matter what year it is, it is never going to make for smooth conversation to mention our choices that stray from norms - unless, of course, one's audience isn't going to feel threatened by it. Certain topics aren't meant for polite company - religion, politics, diet, and yes - wishing to remain child-free. If you want to feel supported in your choices, understand your audience and be methodical about deciding when to share your thoughts. It is what it is.
On a more personal note - I was much like you when I was 20, 30, and almost 40. To state what you "never want" when you are 20 years old is a bit like suggesting you have a crystal ball - living changes people and that goes for their thoughts and desires, too. I'm not saying you will change your mind, but it could happen. "Never" doesn't always play out in life.
As far as another poster's suggestion that you make the "obvious" choice and seek sterilization: good luck with that one - meaning good luck finding a doctor to perform that surgery on a 20 year old. Maybe times have changed in this regard - but I was sol years ago when I sought this remedy.
Choosing a child-free life because you have prioritized other pursuits is commendable. I wish more people had such clarity, as having kids and juggling to fit them into a packed life doesn't do justice to parenthood.
Got my vasectomy at 20. Was the first doctor I asked too.
Edit: Okay, now that I've reached the end. I do not believe what the OP posted was confrontational. Just stating that you want to do something in your life (other than) children and every jumps down OP's throat?
I've never wanted children either and as a result went out to get a vasectomy at 20 and now I'm 28. Best damn thing I've done for myself. OP if you aren't on the fence, go get sterilized. I couldn't tell if you're a male or female so forgive me.
For guys, a vasectomy is inexpensive and easy and takes no more than 30 minutes with very little push back from the doctors.
For girls, shoot for a tubal... but expect some friction unfortunately. If you can't seem to get one, check out IUD's or something else until you are able to find a doctor will to give you a tubal.
I don't understand why so many seem to feel the need to jump down anyone's throat that decides that children aren't for them and then belittle their choices because little johnny is the best thing that's ever happened to them! Not for me, not for OP.
Do what you want, live your life and don't let anyone push you in a direction you do not want to go.
I gave up an (otherwise) great relationship because my SO wanted kids some day and would drop any girl in a half a second that chooses to go down that path. There are many of us out there and enjoy your ability to go travel the world at the drop of a hat :-)
When I was younger I never pictured myself having kids. I am 20 and I still have no desire to have children. Please note my apostrophe key is broken.
My facebook timeline is overrun with people from my high school (not my friends, but until today I put up with them) announcing they are pregnant, posting baby pictures, ultra sound pictures, basically just a bunch of annoying baby updates about something so hilarious their 1 year old child did.
Anyways, these young mothers havent given me any trouble until I posted this as my status today:
I never want to have children. There are so many things I would like to do in my life. I want to travel the world, get one of my books published, maybe even become a famous author lol.
I honestly didnt think I sounded disrespectful towards the mothers I mentioned before. It was not a status directed at them, just something I have had on my mind for a while and since I was bored I posted it, thinking it would get a couple likes, maybe even some harmless chit chat before being buried under newer posts.
That was not the case. Here are some of the gems posted by the mothers/ school associates on my page(not exact words, but almost) :
-You are really missing out, Omatic. I couldnt imagine life without my (insert kid name here). He is my world.
-Why? That sounds boring.....
-That is sad to hear, Omatic. What a joyless life you will live. (from an older relative)
-Wow way to bash teen mothers Omatic. I wasnt planning on having (kids name here) but Im glad I did. Being a teen mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. As I teen mom I work super hard to give my kids everything they want, you sound jealous, blah blah blah (what? just what the heck? where did that come from? but yeah, super jealous of an 18 year old mom )
I deleted my post and ended up deleting and then blocking about 6 people.
EFF OFF. I am child free, I want to stay child free. There are things I want to experience in life and I do not want to participate in the baby game. Changing dirty diapers and packing school lunches? No thanks, I will pass.
I thought society would be more accepting of different lifestyles, you know, it being almost 2015 and all. But I made that status and was almost instantly being put down and harassed for not wanting to be a mother. Has anyone else here been pressured or harassed for choosing a child free life? I would like to hear other peoples experiences because no one seems to support my choice, not even family. I try not to let them bother me, but sometimes they do.
I wish all 20 year olds wanted to be "childfree" lol.
Look, just live your life making the best choices for yourself that you can and do not worry about what other people are doing.
It's none of your business and you won't have to live with the kinds of consequences they will have to live with. You'll have enough to do living with your own consequences
I'm 23 and I also to be childfree. When I say it to people, they start distancing themselves with a horrified look on their face.
Well think about it.
If someone walked up to me and said "I'm 23 and I also to be childfree" I'd be thinking OK who is this crazy person. Im sure I would also have a horrified look on my face.
If someone walked up to me and said "I'm 23 and I also to be childfree" I'd be thinking OK who is this crazy person. Im sure I would also have a horrified look on my face.
I sincerely doubt he's walking up to random people doing that. Can almost guarantee the subject came up in some way prior to that sort of statement.
If someone walked up to me and said "I'm 23 and I also to be childfree" I'd be thinking OK who is this crazy person. Im sure I would also have a horrified look on my face.
I'm certainly not doing it with strangers. It's mainly acquaintances who act like that, my friends know about my choices.
I just think that if people can say to the world how much they crave having children, I'm also allowed to say how I don't.
IGNORE anything told you by anyone of any religion; all religions are fiction and are NO basis for how to live your life. We have all the morals and ethics we need without claiming they're derived from some so-called un-assailable invisible all-knowing grand poobah.
I respectfully (and highly) disagree with you on this. This is your opinion and thats fine but dont tell someone else your opinion as if its fact. OP didnt state her beliefs or religion in any way-
I respectfully (and highly) disagree with you on this. This is your opinion and thats fine but dont tell someone else your opinion as if its fact. OP didnt state her beliefs or religion in any way-
Its an opinion, but not fact.
It's a piece of advise I would say. Ignore religious claims with regards to how you should live your life unless the source material is validated as being fact (which it hasn't been).
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