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I'm sure this question has been asked before, but how do you break-up with a good guy?
I've been seeing this guy for the past two-and-a-half months. His name is Tom. He treats me well, and he goes out of the way to make me happy. He's done nothing wrong; I just don't see myself being with him long-term.
The truth of the matter is I need to be with someone who is more of an intellectual (though, I would never, ever tell him that). I can't go on spending every evening at his house as he smokes weed and watches South Park.
The tactic I've used in the past was waiting for things to fizzle out, but as I lose interest in him, he gains interest in me. Last night he told me that he loves me (this was a week after he asked me to move in, which I rejected). My replay, "ugh, well...I...I like you a lot, and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you, and I care for you, and I guess I love you too." I was dying on the inside.
So, how do I break things up without breaking his heart and keeping a friendship in tact?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
You can't be sure you won't break his heart. There is nothing you can do about that. That is his issue to deal with. You may or may not become friends, again, that's a two way street and you can't control it entirely.
All you can do is say "Tom, I think you're a great guy, but this isn't working for me and we need to not date any longer". It will hurt him. There may be "What is working for you? Maybe we can fix it" stuff to deal with, don't bend to that. Don't get in the weeds.
It just needs to get done. Sooner the better. It will just hurt more for him and be harder for you later.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawn.Davenport
P.S.: I'm willing to take as much time as necessary to do this.
Should I start dropping hints that I'm losing interest so the "conversation" doesn't feel like it's dropping out of the blue?
Hell no!
Be blunt. Be honest. Don't insult his intelligence. Don't drag it out.
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