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Maybe you were too "nice and polite" in the sack and she didn't get what she wanted?
That wouldn't explain why she's still trying to get with me.
Unfortunately, this girl is not my type in terms of LTR. She's a little thicker/lazier than I like them (I go to the gym 5-6 days a week, so that's a problem for me), she drinks a lot for her age (30-something who acts like she's still in college), her life is seemingly in a perpetual state of chaos, and I don't think she's that smart. When we hooked up, it was more or less just a fling for that one evening. She still seems interested in me, but I'm really not that interested in her. It doesn't make sense why she'd use that line on me, unless she was trying to put me down because of my rejection of her.
I did not read through all the previous posts, so heads up if this is repetitive. Sometimes what a guy perceives as "nice" is actually going over-board and coming off as needy and/or desperate. Needy & desperate REPEL women it does NOT attract them, (I don't care what it does in the movies I'm talking real life),. Sure, you have to treat a girl right, but that doesn't mean you become a doormat. Confidence attracts women, and part of being confident is knowing when to stand your ground or be "10% jerk." There is some truth to the saying "nice guys finish last." If you don't believe me then why do male prisoners get lots of love letters, why are women more attracted to bikers, athletes, and construction workers, (alpha males), as opposed to comic book collectors and chess players? Just being honest. It's hard to describe in words, but I learned the hard way when I was dating in my early 20's. Its a balancing act.
That wouldn't explain why she's still trying to get with me.
Unfortunately, this girl is not my type in terms of LTR. She's a little thicker/lazier than I like them (I go to the gym 5-6 days a week, so that's a problem for me), she drinks a lot for her age (30-something who acts like she's still in college), her life is seemingly in a perpetual state of chaos, and I don't think she's that smart. When we hooked up, it was more or less just a fling for that one evening. She still seems interested in me, but I'm really not that interested in her. It doesn't make sense why she'd use that line on me, unless she was trying to put me down because of my rejection of her.
Heh....
I thought that was funny. She said you were too nice yet still let you hook up with her. That usually doesn't happen.
Heh....
I thought that was funny. She said you were too nice yet still let you hook up with her. That usually doesn't happen.
Granted, her comments were after the fact that we hooked up. But yeah, still not much of a difference if she felt that way prior to our hooking up. I'll say it again, I think some women use it as a defense mechanism when they aren't getting what they want.
Granted, her comments were after the fact that we hooked up. But yeah, still not much of a difference if she felt that way prior to our hooking up. I'll say it again, I think some women use it as a defense mechanism when they aren't getting what they want.
You have to remember that even below average looking women will have multiple guys lined up wanting to date them. Maybe she found someone better looking, someone with better game, someone that excites her more, etc.
Chances are though that it was another guy and would have happened even if you weren't as nice.
Balance. If you get called a jerk and the girl is still smiling at you have achieved the jerk/too nice balance. You are not a pushover but she knows you are not an a hole either.
I agree though if I ever got called "too nice" (will never happen) automatic cut off.
It's a pretty fine line, and it often varies from woman to woman. In my younger years up until I was in my mid twenties I was definitely a pushover. I was nerdy (well, still am), out of shape and had little self-confidence. In my mid twenties, I started taking better care of myself, going to the gym regularly and my confidence increased dramatically. I started asking more women out and yes I still got rejected, but instead of withdrawing I just brushed it off and eventually got more and more dates. So, now I still consider myself "nice", I insist on paying for dates (at least the first few), and I like giving. However, I also don't take any crap from someone and if there is something I strongly don't agree with I won't back down. Like the poster above me said, balance. The more you date and have relationships with women the easier this will come.
Last edited by david0966; 11-01-2014 at 12:03 PM..
You have to remember that even below average looking women will have multiple guys lined up wanting to date them. Maybe she found someone better looking, someone with better game, someone that excites her more, etc.
Chances are though that it was another guy and would have happened even if you weren't as nice.
But I'm not trying to get with her. This comment came out of the blue when we were talking about having relationships (with other people).
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