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I've had mostly "meh" dating luck. And no, I wouldn't settle for anyone whom I wasn't attracted to or who wasn't attracted to me. But here's the thing - I'm not lonely or desperate for companionship. I've got friends, a good support system and some close family members. Given that SEX (and I mean GOOD sex) is a crucial part of any romantic relationship for me, I would not be willing to compromise on attraction.
I believe attraction can grow based on personality, but if it doesn't happen in a couple of date, it's not gonna.
This is mainly a thread for the guys who don't have much luck with women (such as myself). My standards are high when it comes to women. I mean high! I won't go on a date with a woman I am not attracted to and I will not have a serious relationship with a woman I have no attraction to. I have had people say her personality will grow on you, which I think is nonsense. If I don't find her attractive, I never will. To all the guys here with barely no success with women, would you settle and be with a woman you had no attraction to, or stay single?
I'll answer anyway.
No. Don't settle - stay single and enjoy what the single life has to offer. I recommend independent travel so that when you do find the woman who meets your criteria, you can have interesting conversations with her.
[or maybe you'll enjoy single life so much you'll stay single]
Yeah, I wanted Jessica Alba when I was younger, and didn't want to settle for anything less. Then reality hit my fugly face
This is a good example!
Having high standards should be about quality of character, but seems to be code for needs-to be-super-hot-or-I'd-rather-be-alone. Lowering your "high standards" isn't actually lowering anything but rather broadening your preferences to include real life women who aren't all Victoria's Secret models. Way too many people caught up in the fantasy "dream guy/girl" based on appearance only.
I tend to think of women who look extremely attractive in terms of looks as spam. Yes, I may get lucky and have her in bed a few months later, but a relationship involves far more important things than sex (Which BTW, is FAR BETTER after being rightfully earned). Much rather go with a mid range woman who I can comfortably share my joys, sorrows, concerns, interests, and other more meaningful stuff with regards to compatibility.
Men interested in relationships should be looking for a equally respectable partner, not some hooker. That's one thing many guys my age forget about.
No. I think Men want both. They want a hot woman(Hot to them) and someone they can be comfortable with.
Yes it is the truth. I have a great relationship with all the women in my family. Some of the women here just enjoy putting men down. That's the issue.
Folks, all of this devolves to a simple adage: a bird (no pun intended, using British slang) in the hand is worth two in the bush (no pun intended, using American slang). "Settling" means acquiescence to the wisdom of this adage.
I'm similar to you OP. It's not that I don't have luck with women it's more that I don't come across girls I'm attracted to often as I have a certain type and they aren't exactly hanging out on every corner. It's really frustrating to see these types of girls in pictures but never IRL as I would like to meet someone but could never be into someone I just wasn't very physically attracted to.
I'm similar to you OP. It's not that I don't have luck with women it's more that I don't come across girls I'm attracted to often as I have a certain type and they aren't exactly hanging out on every corner. It's really frustrating to see these types of girls in pictures but never IRL as I would like to meet someone but could never be into someone I just wasn't very physically attracted to.
So, you're saying that you like the girls in the magazines, but you don't run into anyone like that in real life? And if you did, there's no guarantee any of those rare birds would be interested.
The thing about longing for people in photographs is that you never have to think about, let alone deal with, their personality. The reality of them. You can just spin your fantasies.
Really? How dare you? Smh. My relationship with my mother has always been great.
OK, OP, whatever. Then how do you explain your claim that you're unlucky with women and need to settle, after just bringing about an amicable end to a reasonably successful relationship? And after scoring 2 relationships out of more or less a dozen attempts at approaching women? To most people, your belief about yourself looks irrational. You've done decently. So why all the woe-is-me threads and posts? Maybe you just can't face your own fears? I don't think it has anything to do with settling or being unlucky, after all this discussion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27;
I used (keyword: used) avoided women because they scared me. It is still there, but it is fading...somewhat.
I think this (from the same thread Zentropa quoted) is what it's all about. Face and resolve your fears, and a normal social life can be yours.
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