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Just more evidence that women are a complete mystery to you.
Haha...no.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
That's great for you. Unfortunately, you are not a woman and you don't get to dictate how they feel. You are free to blame everything on women but I don't think that is going to work out for you that well in the long run. Unless you plan on avoiding them for the rest of your life. There are men on here who do just that - so you won't be the first.
But women are free to dictate everything to men and tell us how WE should feel, what we should think, we should be honored to serve them, etc.
Got it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
No wonder you're having issues dating, you have no idea how women think. Unbelievable.
I know exactly how they think and work. And that's why I don't date. Or even talk to them IRL.
And maybe Montanaguy does too. Maybe. Or maybe he's just honest about what he sees and thinks. I know how popular honesty that doesn't conform to the PC, gynocentric narrative is in Anglosphere countries, but maybe he doesn't. Yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
So because you, as a man, would take it as a compliment if women were to reduce you to a sum of body parts, you assume women should appreciate it when men do it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenna1343
Nothing more boring than a ton of messages of guys being redundant. Women have mirrors, we know if we have a nice ass and/or chest. Those messages come off as nothing more than a mass spam to see what girls will take the bait.
Let's be honest for a moment here, shall we? Can we do that?
The issue is not, nor has it ever been, WHAT is being said. It is, was, and ever will be WHO is doing the saying.
If a scumbag POS thug lowlife or 2%-er (you know, the guys that are 6'2", six pack abs, athletic build, perfect hair, perfect teeth, chiseled features, $250k+/yr job) says it, "OMG SO HAWWWTTT! YAYZ he likez me!! w00t!"
If anyone that's NOT a thug or 2% says it, "OMG f#@%ing perv creep! Go die in a hole! I won't stand being talked to like that!!"
I saw a pic one time that says it all perfectly and is 1000% true. Google Image search something like "Hey thereYou have an interesting profile So you're into Joy Division and Radiohead?" I remember it being NSFW in most workplaces, so I won't post it here nor a link to it, and if you're the easily offended type, DON'T Image Search it. If you're an adult, you can search yourself, AND deal with the consequences. Don't blame me, don't get offended at me, don't complain and moan at me. You've been warned, and any action you take from this point forward is entirely on YOUR head.
Everyone 'reaches' when dating. You are used to dating younger guys and the guys didn't mind because you still look good. Once you get into the wrong side of 30 the shift starts to happen which is exactly what you are experiencing now. You would have more luck if you didn't have kids but you can't change that, but you have to account for it. The best looking and successful men can do better then what you have to offer, not being mean, just being blunt. You aren't getting younger but the women that these type of men are attracted to are getting younger.
So if the 'A' list men aren't interested in you then you need to look at the B list. 300 pound dudes are obviously in the D or F list.
I don't date guys but this is the kind of guy that you could probably expect:
33-45
Employed with a decent full time, if he makes more then $50k probably a catch
Already has kids of his own, doesn't want more because you don't want more. Good luck trying to find a guy in his late 20s or early 30s that doesn't want kids but is ok if you have kids unless he has some serious drawbacks.
Height/weight proportionate but not hot, reasonably good looking. If he is hot he can do better or he lacks charisma to get the kind of woman he really wants.
Every guy wants a woman like this:
This is the type of woman you are competing with for A list guys, these women are probably also child free. Most men are realistic and know they can't get a woman like that unless they are crazy good looking, great job, great personality, and probably some luck because women like this aren't typically single unless she wants to be. Just keeping it real for you.
yep, I agree with most of your post. OP may have looked this good in her 20s... but even if she looks younger than her age, she is still ____ age. And that in itself will be a drawback. And people need to understand that LOOKING younger is only part of that equation....
The reason that younger people appeal some people is not just physical appearances... it also has to do with life experiences, being jaded, having children from previous marriage, checkered past, energy level, spontaneity....
These are things that people are considering when looking at age... there is also the person's vibe... his energy... and looking wrinkle free can't change that.
You seem really bothered by the public assistance. Public assistance is medical insurance and $200 in foodstamps for us. Not cash assistance.
I know I have said this before, but my financial situation is really good. I own a house, that I have almost half it's value in equity. I do not live in an inexpensive region of the country, so this is significant. My mortgage payment is less than renting a 2 bedroom apartment. I have savings, and retirement accounts. I just bought a $42k car two months ago, and paid half in cash, still leaving a good six month emergency fund in my account. I am not a spender, great at saving money and very frugal.
I have a reasonable salary. It is not like I make minimum wage or just a hair over.
Out of 30 guys I have met, only 2 or 3 could bring this much to a relationship.
wow, if I didn't pay for my own medical insurance and got $200 in free food every month I would be able to amass more equity as well. Sorry but I think it is so wrong for you to receive food stamps. Even though you 'qualify " on a technicality.... Just wrong that you use money or benefits from tax payers money paid by people who probably can't even afford 1 broke down $1000 car let alone pay $21 thousand toward a second vehicle.
I am a staunch supporter of social programs for poor single parents and children. You are not one...you give bad rep to those who truly are in desperate situation. I am simply flabbergasted because I bought into the stereotype welfare queen persona.... you certainly don't sound like one, but you are in fact one.
You know... when I was going to school and had been laid off from a job... I also qualified for food stamps. I applied for assistance because what I really needed was health insurance. I was in my 20s unemployed and recently diagnosed with high blood pressure. I was a full time student and just needed insurance to get my prescription blood pressure pills. I didn't qualify for medical insurance because I was a NOT single parent... i didn't get knocked up so I didn't get the reward for bad behavior. But I did get food stamps.
I decided to move home to my parents until I finished school. That was hard to do in my 20s but it was the best thing for me to do. In the meantime, I kept getting mail at my old address because I was irresponsible and didn't do change of address. No one else moved into the flat. Every month I got the little coupon you get to go pick up your book of food stamps. I never even opened them. Just threw them in the drawer with all the other mail that I didn't think was important. After i was soon to graduate from school, my dad noticed this stack of food stamp vouchers. He told me I shouldn't just ignore that... take care of it. So I went to the social services one day with my stack of vouchers.... unopened. And returned them all.
The social worker could not believe it. She said she had NEVER had someone return food stamps before.
Even though I qualified for food stamps.... I didn't NEED THEM. And so I didn't take advantage of the system that was a safety net.
I was 24 years old. That shows a degree of honesty and integrity. I can't claim responsibility because I should have taken care of it immediately. But I was honest. Karma.... OP.
This is just something unsavory about you posturing that you are in great financial shape and bragging about your financial health while receiving social service safety net.
yep, I agree with most of your post. OP may have looked this good in her 20s... but even if she looks younger than her age, she is still ____ age. And that in itself will be a drawback. And people need to understand that LOOKING younger is only part of that equation....
The reason that younger people appeal some people is not just physical appearances... it also has to do with life experiences, being jaded, having children from previous marriage, checkered past, energy level, spontaneity....
These are things that people are considering when looking at age... there is also the person's vibe... his energy... and looking wrinkle free can't change that.
Exactly. This is why I said it was important to max out one's marketability.
A 35yo woman with no kids, a degree (advanced is better), a lucrative career, good looks, and an interesting personality who is willing to have kids will be far more appealing than a 35yo who has 2 kids from 2 different daddies who pay no child support, no degree, no lucrative career (plus public assistance to supplement said lack of lucrative career), not willing to have more kids...
Even if she's interesting and looks good.
Know what I mean?
So, what's a single mom to do?
Get an education. Get a better career going. Get off the public dole. Think hard about that "no more kids" limitation...
That way, your only possible negatives are the kids and your age.
Neither of which you can do much about.
The age thing could be remedied by going for older guys, but OP doesn't like them.
So, she needs to fix what she can for greatest results.
I bet hard money that if she was working on a degree and found a better-paying job she could instantly raise her dating value by a good margin.
She also needs to give the guys who don't meet her ideal more of a chance. She might find a diamond in the rough who just needs a few grooming tips to be a good candidate.
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Exactly. This is why I said it was important to max out one's marketability.
A 35yo woman with no kids, a degree (advanced is better), a lucrative career, good looks, and an interesting personality who is willing to have kids will be far more appealing than a 35yo who has 2 kids from 2 different daddies who pay no child support, no degree, no lucrative career (plus public assistance to supplement said lack of lucrative career), not willing to have more kids...
Even if she's interesting and looks good.
Know what I mean?
So, what's a single mom to do?
Get an education. Get a better career going. Get off the public dole. Think hard about that "no more kids" limitation...
That way, your only possible negatives are the kids and your age.
Neither of which you can do much about.
The age thing could be remedied by going for older guys, but OP doesn't like them.
So, she needs to fix what she can for greatest results.
I bet hard money that if she was working on a degree and found a better-paying job she could instantly raise her dating value by a good margin.
She also needs to give the guys who don't meet her ideal more of a chance. She might find a diamond in the rough who just needs a few grooming tips to be a good candidate.
+1 rep point..can't give you anymore for now. this is great advice. I don't think she is listening because she thinks .... I dunno why. Like I said before... there are lots of beautiful women in their 30s with no kids, great finances... WHO DON'T EVEN CLOSELY QUALIFIY for public assistance, and have advanced degrees to match their professional careers. I work with 3 I can think of off hand. They would be a better "catch" than OP. Also good point, why does the man have to be "on point" in every catergory?? She is not "on point".....
She is getting good advice and a dose of realism. I think she has handled the criticism fairly well. As far as the reading comprehension comment IMO that is more from frustration of repeating herself rather then lashing out.
kcam213 - You were lucky to be able to live with your parents. Without their support and help, you probably would have needed those food stamps, so I'm unconvinced that your level of integrity and honesty outshine the OPs.
I wonder if you take tax deductions or do you return your tax refund back to the government too? If you take tax deductions that you quality for, you are no better than the OP. Remember, she is a working individual who is also paying taxes like everyone else who works for a living.
You took another low blow at her by implying that she had her children out of wedlock ("knocked up") so that she could sit back and enjoy being "rewarded for her bad choices". I haven't read the entire thread but I have the impression that she is a divorced mother, who is actively pursuing back child support owed to her from her ex husband. She's made it pretty clear that it's the healthcare that she needs for her children, the $200 foodstamps come with the qualifying package.
I don't agree with the OP being dishonest on her profile. That is wrong IMO and will not serve her well in the long run. But I feel that is she is being unfairly judged in other regards.
Last edited by Butterflyfish; 11-29-2014 at 03:10 PM..
With regards to her dating challenges, she needs to keep her standards high for the sake of her children, if for no other reason. It may not be easy or quick to find someone suitable. It might never happen at all, but that is the hand she has been dealt in life. Adapt or perish.
I became a widow with two children at the age of 32. I didn't meet a man worth marrying until I turned 48 and my children were grown. He was worth the wait though, I'm so glad that I didn't settle for anything less.
Maybe she'll have better luck than I did and love will find her sooner than it did for me.
kcam213 - You were lucky to be able to live with your parents. Without their support and help, you probably would have needed those food stamps, so I'm unconvinced that your level of integrity and honesty outshine the OPs.
I wonder if you take tax deductions or do you return your tax refund back to the government too? If you take tax deductions that you quality for, you are no better than the OP. Remember, she is a working individual who is also paying taxes like everyone else who works for a living.
You took another low blow at her by implying that she had her children out of wedlock ("knocked up") so that she could sit back and enjoy being "rewarded for her bad choices". I haven't read the entire thread but I have the impression that she is a divorced mother, who is actively pursuing back child support owed to her from her ex husband. She's made it pretty clear that it's the healthcare that she needs for her children, the $200 foodstamps come with the qualifying package.
I don't agree with the OP being dishonest on her profile. That is wrong IMO and will not serve her well. But I feel that is she is being unfairly judged in other regards.
I know you're not addressing me, but I don't think kcam was upset that the OP qualifies for benefits. People who qualify for benefits should receive benefits if they need them.
The larger point is that OP seems to think she's financially stable. Why is a financially stable person collecting public assistance?
Why is the OP well enough off to save up 21k and pay for half of a 42k automobile with it while collecting public assistance? I don't begrudge the woman a ride. Or even a new ride. But, who the hell on public assistance needs a new, luxury automobile? 42k is approaching Benz territory.
And, comparing allowable tax deductions to public assistance benefits is apples to oranges.
They may both be designed to give taxpayers a break (I'm sure the OP gets a fat chunk of EIC, Child tax credits, etc...she likely pays NO federal taxes by the time she gets those...and gets more on top of that), but tax deductions apply to people across the board.
Public assistance is to aid the poorest members of society. This OP is the first person I've ever heard say they were doing well financially, holding down a professional job, and considered themselves a "good catch" in a financial sense WHILE on public assistance.
I think that's the larger point. If she's doing so well, why collect benefits?
Hold up.
Because, without them? She would not be doing so well?
There's some disillusionment in here.
I think the point kcam was making was about not using benefits you do not need.
The OP needs public assistance. Or she does not.
If she does not, it's like she's taking it to let everyone else subsidize Her 42k auromobile. And her car that's paid for. And her house.
Why would anyone do that? It's not Monopoly money. Some other citizens paid that money in taxes and did NOT get a refund.
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You have an interesting profile So you're into Joy Division and Radiohead?" I remember it being NSFW in most workplaces, so I won't post it here nor a link to it, and if you're the easily offended type, DON'T Image Search it. If you're an adult, you can search yourself, AND deal with the consequences. Don't blame me, don't get offended at me, don't complain and moan at me. You've been warned, and any action you take from this point forward is entirely on YOUR head.
I AM OK WITH DATING MEN WITH KIDS. 
