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Seriously? Dude, you are off the rails. You have no business even talking to women, much less dating them. I expect that most any woman, after a few conversations with you, would be able to see what a nut she was dealing with, and I would be very surprised if she did anything other than blow you off.
Look, you don't know what it's like to be where I am. I'm isolated in the middle of nowhere. I feel very alone all the time. I've been through a lot of crap with the military this past year. I've always struggled with dating, but I've never had the kind of full blown anxiety attacks that I have now.
Do you know how difficult dating has been for me over the years? I didn't really have a father growing up, had no role model. I've always had confidence issues ever since I could remember. I've always had anxiety and I've always been a worrier.
I did the PUA thing because I didn't know what I was doing with women. Women liked me, but I didn't know how to get them. Then, I got into PUA and got laid a lot. When I started looking for a relationship, however, my issues came back with a vengeance, even worse. Then I joined the military and started my career in the middle of nowhere. (Just to give you some background, EVERYONE that I work with has issues as well. One is on severe antidepressants and two others have developed obvious drinking problems)
Before the military, I was confused and did struggle. Since joining the military, it has been pure hell.
I guess my natural reaction has been to blame women. I do realize that this is unfair and I really am trying to seek help.
What's even worse is that I don't even like this woman that much. There are many yellow flags that turn me off from her. Intellectually, I know this. Emotionally, I've been having a massive anxiety attack all day. What's worse is that I have no idea why this is happening....and I don't know how to fix it. I thought that I would be able to handle this on my own, but it seems to be getting worse. AND I'm on anxiety meds right now. Could you imagine what would happen if I wasn't taking these meds?
I spoke with my mother, did some catch-up work, and went to the gym. I think you all are right. I'd really like to get married and have kids some day and I know that it won't be possible in my current state. I have 11 months left in this area. That's 11 months to seek weekly therapy, get in good shape, and get better at my career before leaving the military. Also, it will give me sometime to plan my future.
every dating experience I have makes it seem even worse.
YOU are making it seem worse. You shouldn't be dating until you can stop mentally mugging yourself after every little incident. Your mind is attacking you. You're in no condition to attempt dating. It has nothing to do with being out in the middle of nowhere. That's irrelevant. You need to get control of your mental processes, and learn to take things calmly, like other people do.
The last phone conversation went well. We were planning our next date. I did text her yesterday because it was her birthday. Wished her happy birthday and responded right away.
So it's clear that something happened between yesterday and today to make her not interested, likely a new guy.
How am I supposed to "improve" when women just keep lying to me and treating me like crap?
Well, I live in the middle of nowhere right now and I'm stuck here for the next year. I made a promise to myself that if this didn't work out with this girl, I would stop seriously pursuing women and focus on the gym, therapy, and my next career move.
Honestly, I may never date again because I'm so fed up with this nonsense. Women just have too many options these days and a below average to average looking man just can't match up.
I think you are on the right track. Not dating will be better for you and the people around you.
Yeah, I'm done with this particular woman. I was just hoping that maybe this one wouldn't be like all of the rest, since she is a bit older, we are in similar career fields, and she talks a good game (claims to have good values, etc).
I always seem to hope for this, but end up disappointed.
And, as I said, I don't have many dating options to begin with because I live in the middle of nowhere and am not physically attractive.
And yet, in other posts, you claim that there are several women in your workplace who ARE attracted to you, but you cannot date them for fear of getting arrested, "or worse" (by that I assume you mean capital punishment )
Do you see how disordered your thinking is? It is almost bordering on Persecutory Delusions
Ask your psychiatrist if he/she thinks antipsychotic medications (treatment for these delusions) might help?
Here's another thought. The problem is not with the women you try to date, but with you. They sense that there is something going on with your mental state that makes you unsafe to date.
i chuckled when someone mentioned reading magazines.
i am too lazy to write out my response on that ^ subject as it will be too long and will veer off topic quickly
but suffice to say, op you are sounding/acting like a female
1) you have concocted some "game" for yourself for dealing with the opposite sex
2) you are overanalyzing stuff like a female would
This is something that some people do not just women.
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I expect that most any woman, after a few conversations with you, would be able to see what a nut she was dealing with, and I would be very surprised if she did anything other than blow you off.
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