why do some women posters on cd seem to disbelieve a guy when he says he is mid forties and had no relationships, seetc. (wife, girlfriend)
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I know, but there are more women waiting for a man to initiate a relationship than there are women who are willing to initiate one.
Add that to the fact that there are millions of shy, quiet, reserved, socially awkward, average looking to unattractive women--some with great personalities, some not so much--to beautiful women with stale personalities and everything in between; most of which are playing the role of "pursuee" makes it hard to understand.
If a woman found herself in a situation like the OP it would be for 1 of 2 reasons:
a. Men don't pursue/initiate a relationship with her, they don't show an interest in dating her, and she doesn't switch the role she plays by initiating an interest...so she "waits."
b. She is single by choice.
It is more common for men to assume the dominate role in dating, and that alone opens up more opportunities than just passively sitting by waiting for someone to approach you. So honestly, I truly cannot understand a man that's never dated, never kissed, never had sex, and never had a relationship with a woman at 40 unless he has a social disorder or severe physical defect that effects his ability to connect with people.
You've pretty much nailed the last two posts of yours.
Since guys often are expected to play the purser, if a guy's extremely shy/introverted and/or has a social disorder, then it makes sense that dating would very likely suck for him.
You've pretty much nailed the last two posts of yours.
Since guys often are expected to play the purser, if a guy's extremely shy/introverted and/or has a social disorder, then it makes sense that dating would very likely suck for him.
And to him, this means he is a "victim" of having "no opportunities."
I know, but there are more women waiting for a man to initiate a relationship than there are women who are willing to initiate one.
Add that to the fact that there are millions of shy, quiet, reserved, socially awkward, average looking to unattractive women--some with great personalities, some not so much--to beautiful women with stale personalities and everything in between; most of which are playing the role of "pursuee" makes it hard to understand.
If a woman found herself in a situation like the OP it would be for 1 of 2 reasons:
a. Men don't pursue/initiate a relationship with her, they don't show an interest in dating her, and she doesn't switch the role she plays by initiating an interest...so she "waits."
b. She is single by choice.
It is more common for men to assume the dominate role in dating, and that alone opens up more opportunities than just passively sitting by waiting for someone to approach you. So honestly,I truly cannot understand a man that's never dated, never kissed, never had sex, and never had a relationship with a woman at 40 unless he has a social disorder or severe physical defect that effects his ability to connect with people.
Are you shy and introverted?, have you ever been shy or introverted? Now try approaching someone and get rejected and see how that feels. People don't understand certain things because they don't picture themselves in other people's shoes.
Are you shy and introverted?, have you ever been shy or introverted? Now try approaching someone and get rejected and see how that feels. People don't understand certain things because they don't picture themselves in other people's shoes.
Do you consider shy and introverted people victims?
Do you consider shy and introverted people victims?
I didn't say anything about victimization. Not being able to get a date does not someone is a victim. But people need to understand that some men have made it to their 40's with no relationships.
Are you shy and introverted?, have you ever been shy or introverted? Now try approaching someone and get rejected and see how that feels. People don't understand certain things because they don't picture themselves in other people's shoes.
Keep in mind that shy and introverted aren't the same thing. I'm definitely an introvert (have way more introvert tendencies than I do extrovert wise), but I'm nowhere near as shy as I was in my earlier years. Also, rejection happens to everyone. It definitely sucks (I know firsthand), but if you really want to be in a relationship, you'll likely have to endure at least a couple of rejections to possibly meet the one.
Also, social skills can be improved if you have the motivation to do so.
It's not hard to believe that some of the men here have had no relationship experience whatsoever. However, it is hard to believe that they didn't have any opportunities.
Some guys just don't get signals or notice opportunities.
Are you shy and introverted?, have you ever been shy or introverted? Now try approaching someone and get rejected and see how that feels. People don't understand certain things because they don't picture themselves in other people's shoes.
Uhh...I'm pretty sure everyone knows what it feels like to be rejected.* We've all experienced it. The difference is in how we respond to it.
*I almost added "except for supermodels, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt," but actually I'm pretty sure even they know.
Keep in mind that shy and introverted aren't the same thing. I'm definitely an introvert (have way more introvert tendencies than I do extrovert wise), but I'm nowhere near as shy as I was in my earlier years. Also, rejection happens to everyone. It definitely sucks (I know firsthand), but if you really want to be in a relationship, you'll likely have to endure at least a couple of rejections to possibly meet the one.
Also, social skills can be improved if you have the motivation to do so.
I know shy and introverted are not the same thing but there are a good number of people who are shy and introverted. This thread is about understanding why a man may reach a certain age without a relationship. Understand that not all guys are willing to go through all of that rejection.
Uhh...I'm pretty sure everyone knows what it feels like to be rejected.* We've all experienced it. The difference is in how we respond to it.
*I almost added "except for supermodels, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt," but actually I'm pretty sure even they know.
And some guys get tired of it so they stop trying and leave with what little self-esteem they have left. That's all there is to it. And some people never get rejected.
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