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What are the flaws you are willing to accept to get the traits you desire in a partner?
Think of the essentials you desire in someone - now what true flaws, things you find undesirable, will you accept? What is the absolute worst you will tolerate because you are able to appreciate someone in spite of them?
Name the WORST traits you will deal with, not just little things that are "quirks" or which may amount to "cute disagreements".
These can cover their personality, physical appearance, social status, morals, etc.
I know this isn't the answer that you are looking for - but for me, it's just impossible to say. I know what my husband's flaws are and I'm fine with them because I love who he is as a whole. The wonderful things far outweigh the negative things - and he wouldn't be who he is without those negative things. Nobody is perfect. But it's something that I just couldn't predict because unless you know who a person is as a whole, you can't really predict what it is you'll put up with.
I know this isn't the answer that you are looking for - but for me, it's just impossible to say. I know what my husband's flaws are and I'm fine with them because I love who he is as a whole. The wonderful things far outweigh the negative things - and he wouldn't be who he is without those negative things. Nobody is perfect. But it's something that I just couldn't predict because unless you know who a person is as a whole, you can't really predict what it is you'll put up with.
Ok, so what did you learn you were willing to put up with concerning your husband?
That's a hard one. All the stuff I would consider serious flaws are deal-breakers.
Excessive Drinking
Smoking
Temperamental
Stubborn, and can't admit their mistakes, and think they're always right.
Poor hygiene
Obnoxious, always drawing attention to themselves
Thuggish, or carries themselves in a thuggish manner.
But maybe they seem bad because I know men who have all these flaws simultaneously . lol
From a distance, I have been infatuated with guys who had very good qualities, but some big flaws as well. One I liked, in spite of all his flaws, and they were biggies for me, simply because he was chivalrous/respectful toward women. lol But again, that's fine from a distance and for a crush...
Of the traits I listed, maybe the smoking, if he never did it in the house, and wasn't around me with the smoke after-smell.
But the men I have been around have shaped my deal-breakers.
But without meeting this great partner, it's hard to say, because nothing is guaranteed. You say you want something, or don't like and won't tolerate something, then someone comes into your life that you are crazy enough about, it makes you throw previous notions and actions out the window.
My friend always liked clean-shaven, buff men. Her boyfriend is fat and hairy. but she's crazy about him. She laughed, saying she always thought her 1st boyfriend would be a jerk. He's not. very sweet, but strong guy.
Another woman I know a bit-not friends or anything. But she always preaches about having high values, only had sex with one man prior, and wasn't one for casual sex. Brags about her law school learning. Then met a guy, became his mistress, and whored herself out, saying she'd sleep with him if he kept in touch with her consistently. She liked and wants him for herself, but he ain't leaving his girlfriend. The guy has her wrapped so tight it's sad. Seemed, while arrogant, she did have high values. But when this guy came along, she threw them all out on his behalf. Apparently, she thinks he's perfect, and is jealous of his girlfriend, whom he treats better. He treats her like trash, but she puts up with it for the hot guy and sex.
So, I won't get too cocky I will say, for now, the serious flaws I have issues with are deal-breakers. But, if that great guy came along, I may be willing to put up with any of them. Sans the drinking and nastiness. That's a sensitive issue with me.
But these pros would have to be damn good and plentiful, I think, if I was gonna put up with more serious flaws.
One of the things that sort of jumps out at me is it's hard to answer is I don't know the pro's of some woman I've never met, I don't know how great her "pros" are to determine what "cons" I'd take.
Obviously I know what I'm willing to accept with my current partner, as we've been together 22 plus yrs, so I apparently can accept the threshold of flaws that she has.
I guess there's certain extents when it comes to flaws. For example, I wouldn't mind someone who is a little messy. Just not someone who is hoarder messy. Physically, there are a lot of flaws I can overlook.
What are the flaws you are willing to accept to get the traits you desire in a partner?
Think of the essentials you desire in someone - now what true flaws, things you find undesirable, will you accept? What is the absolute worst you will tolerate because you are able to appreciate someone in spite of them?
Name the WORST traits you will deal with, not just little things that are "quirks" or which may amount to "cute disagreements".
These can cover their personality, physical appearance, social status, morals, etc.
I will not deal with alcoholism or chemical dependency (sans chocolate/caffeine). Addictive personalities are just a bad bet for me altogether. Someone who lies, someone who agrees with everything I say, someone who makes me their whole entire world, someone who has no life or interests of their own.
I'm pretty much game for anything else.
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