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There is never a situation where it is inappropriate to say hello to a person.
I am not going to become more afraid to talk to women than I already am by listening to people who are unhealthy sensitive to social interaction
If someone doesn't want to have to witness people being people, and (gasp) a stranger saying hello, she can spend the rest of her life in a bubble that only those trusted by her can enter if she wants. But I'm not about to prostrate myself before her absurd rules when I'm out in public.
Something caused her this fear. She needs therapy to get to the bottom of it and help her better cope with the realities of life.
I don't speak to women I don't know. Not even say hi. She is a stranger, I have nothing to talk to her about. It's not because I'm "scared" either. It's just what I do. To each it's own.
I don't speak to women I don't know. Not even say hi. She is a stranger, I have nothing to talk to her about. It's not because I'm "scared" either. It's just what I do. To each it's own.
Yeah to each it's own. But I can't imagine never saying hi to strangers I pass by on a walk or making some kind of comment to folks waiting with me in line at the post office if there's something interesting to say.
Also, I'll never make any friends if I don't talk to anyone I don't know because I don't know anybody where I live.
I know the feeling of it being hard to talk to women as I overcame it in high school and then regressed after college and a long relationship failed. It all comes down to having confidence, which can be hard to attain when you aren't getting a chance to build momentum. People advise to work on improving yourself because when you are worried more about being a better you your focus is more on whether a woman is a valuable partner than if you will screw up trying to talk to her. I watched a good creepy movie tonight called The Double and though it goes a lot deeper than this it made me think about all of these virgin threads.
I wish more of these insecure people would practice mindfulness and meditation to detach from their regrets (past) and fears (future) and live in the present moment. With some practice they will realize that all the negative messages bouncing around in their heads are not "real." They can be removed and replaced.
The Four Noble Truths:
To be alive means to suffer (because all humans are imperfect)
The origin of suffering is attachment
The cessation of suffering is attainable (by controlling our desires and practicing non-attachment)
There is a path to enlightenment through gradual self improvement (see Zen Eightfold Path)
I think the people suffering most over their virginity or lack of looks or awkwardness or insecurity are strongly, strongly attached to their own failure and negativity.
I wish more of these insecure people would practice mindfulness and meditation to detach from their regrets (past) and fears (future) and live in the present moment. With some practice they will realize that all the negative messages bouncing around in their heads are not "real." They can be removed and replaced.
The Four Noble Truths:
To be alive means to suffer (because all humans are imperfect)
The origin of suffering is attachment
The cessation of suffering is attainable (by controlling our desires and practicing non-attachment)
There is a path to enlightenment through gradual self improvement (see Zen Eightfold Path)
I think the people suffering most over their virginity or lack of looks or awkwardness or insecurity are strongly, strongly attached to their own failure and negativity.
Did you live by these four noble truths when you were 23? If not would you have if someone other than someone that you admired suggested it?
What is it with some of you guys? You need to get over this defeatist attitude. And before you jump all over me, I had very little luck with women until I reached my mid twenties. Never dated at all in high school, asked several and was turned down. At some point you just have to put yourself out there and take some risks. Personally, I'd rather be turned down 200 times and go out on a handful of dates than sit and complain endlessly. If i can be successful dating, any guy can. If you constantly think negative, then yes you'll have little success.
like others have said- I would recommend therapy- it sounds like you might have some kind of social anxiety disorder- here is a book I would recommend that is helpful for people who suffer from anxiety disorders and/or depression- Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
If you can not afford to buy it then borrow a copy from your library
you are young and they is plenty of time to change and improve-and anyone else out there young or old I would keep this quote in mind who wants to change
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
and here is a good inspirational video for anyone thinking of making a change https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mLn...NjR93D5UxGVfXw
Last edited by phoenixmike11; 12-04-2014 at 07:56 AM..
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