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As to 10s being on-line, it is amazing some of the people I've met. Ivy league education, super high level accomplishments in sports, etc. And they are very attractive as well as accomplished. For me personally, I can go for weeks without going out with friends because of work. And I think for many young professionals, the idea that you are on your computer numerous times a day but rarely in a social environment fosters the belief that online dating is at least a legitimate option.
Maybe stop looking at people as stats. For instance, I work with a highly regarded Princeton professor, top in the world in his field, high up in the company. Pretty decent guy, but hardly the smartest or coolest guy to hang out with. That would be the Mensa lab technician who dropped out of college. I think a lot of people make the mistake of overselling their accomplishments. Drive, ambition, tenacity? Sure, but those things work at all levels. Being an Olympic level athlete is half luck of the genetic draw anyway. A lot of people just want chemistry and compatibility. Some may not even be able to see it in you as you're preoccupied with the bottom line stuff. For instance: Yngwie Malmsteen is a far better guitarist than myself... but you know what? A lot of people (including myself) don't find his music all that interesting, and the guy is a huge douchebag to boot. Do I wish I had his stats? Not in the least.
And this is a forum where people told me I was stalking an ex because I looked at her online profile for the first time after a month of no contact and then ganged up on someone today that claimed he/she was being stalked by someone that contacted her every once in awhile. Haters going to hate.
Another person asked about 7.5s. But I am not going to settle. I want someone that is like what I have had in the past just without the issues, and I have to move through women that get the 50 or whatever contacts a day on-line until I find someone that sees me for who I am, then so be it.
Depends where you live. The title of a lawyer sounds nice to the average person. In cities like NYC or LA where high status men are dime a dozen, I'm afraid you're going to need a higher income and an even fancier title (Owner of a law firm) to have a realistic chance with the nines and tens. Not to mention you'll need to be dressed to the nines and then some. Flaunting your wealth will go a long with your target as well, no matter how much they go on about wanting compatible personalities, unconditional love, etc.
I will be an owner of a law firm someday. I work at my father's law firm. Some people mentioned too much confidence. Is that really a thing? I try to project as much confidence as possible, because I think that is important to vulnerable people in a court situation ... but maybe it's a turn off in the dating world.
No, you said I have a terrible personality, which seems terribly off topic. i Just come here after work and the gym to see if anyone can help me make sense of what I see every day.
But that is what helping you make sense of what you experience every day looks like. Since you're a lawyer and skilled sportsman, the only avenue left for making sense of why these women reject you is to consider that you might have personality flaws that are a turn-off. For example, on these perpetual first dates, do you tend to monopolize the conversation, or do you ask about her, and actively listen?
I will be an owner of a law firm someday. I work at my father's law firm. Some people mentioned too much confidence. Is that really a thing? I try to project as much confidence as possible, because I think that is important to vulnerable people in a court situation ... but maybe it's a turn off in the dating world.
Gee, ya think? It never occurred to you that you're supposed to leave your courtroom persona at the office when you segue into your private life? Your dates aren't courtroom adversaries that you're trying to out-bluff. They're human beings you're trying to get to know on a personal level. Women tend to like a combination of subtle confidence (key word: subtle) and humility, like self-deprecating humor, or down-playing workplace accomplishments and discussing other interests.
So, daddy got you your job, eh? That might explain the "it's hard to understand that" comment that some of us are wondering about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by returning_to_dating;
I went far in extreme sports but am only the only person I know from that circle that went to a prestigious law school and now have a job. It's hard to understand that and now find a wife.
Separating what I see through my work in family law and my personal life is something with which I am struggling and am trying to figure out by talking to friends and being on this forum. As to your second comment, that is a level to which I would advise a client not to stoop.
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