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If you don't feel that spark you need to move on. You deserve to be with someone that makes your heart race. He does sound like a great guy, but he's not the great guy for you. It's sad, but not everyone is a match even though they look good on paper, which is why dating is essential and a weeding out process. If you settled for this guy you'd regret it and it would not end well.
Look at it from the other side. Would you want somebody not into you and no possibility of it ever happening? Move on and find somebody you really are into.
Look at it from the other side. Would you want somebody not into you and no possibility of it ever happening? Move on and find somebody you really are into.
This was me. Fell hard for a 24 yr old woman who wasn't into me the same way. Basically the same thing in reverse.
I ended it. Had to. Was driving me crazy. Decided to give up the so-called dream girl for someone who WAS crazy about me.
Moral? Go with your gut. Gut always wins.
Just because he is a nice attractive guy with a job and his life together doesn't make him the right guy for you. I think sometimes people have unrealistic expectations about the spark or whatnot, but seriously there needs to be SOME spark. Relationships are tough. If you don't have some foundation of being crazy for one another, then in my opinion it's going to be hard to remember what you're fighting for when things get tough. It's perfectly fine to pass on a good guy if you don't feel he's the right guy for you. It's really not fair to either of you if you feel like you are settling. I want someone who is crazy about me! I would never want anyone to settle for me because they think I'm a nice person and I have a job! Time to move on!
I've met plenty of good women in my life. They had jobs, they had roofs over their heads, and they could carry a conversation. The thing that mattered most was that I had no connection with them. They fit what I wanted on paper, but I was never pressed to want to get to know them better. Sometimes you just meet a lot of people in life that just don't do it for you. Doesn't mean either of you are bad, it just means you're not right for each other.
Hi. I'm in need of some objective advice. My friends and my mother say I'm insane but...who knows.
I'm 24, met a guy 6 months ago through my older brother. He's 30. Great guy, very nice, attractive, tall, lots of friends and a varied dating history. We have fun but there just isn't any spark or chemistry. He's great on paper, tons of fun, and a really good person but there are no butterflies or anything. I KNOW other women have just lost their minds over this guy (according to my brother) but he was never ready to settle down until he felt he had enough life experience.
I'm probably handicapping myself because I keep comparing him to my ex of 2 years ago. My ex could make my heart pound with a smile. But obviously THAT didn't work out. Plus my mother wasn't nuts about the ex and she let me know all the time.
I like the guy, I truly do. We talk every day and hang out and have fun. We go out on dates, met each other's friends, gone away to a concert out of town. I have a blast but it isn't romantic to me.
Everyone keeps telling me that he's serious and wants a commitment now and I'd be insane not to leap at the chance but still...while I find him to be attractive I'm not ATTRACTED. Does that even make sense? I'm twisted up.
You're not ready for a commitment now. That's all he and anyone else needs to know.
There should be no debate here. You don't go forward if you don't feel right about it. "Everyone" is not listening to you. Keep in mind, if you were to make him commit to you when you feel this way, you are messing with his life, wasting his time being with someone who was talked into it by others. So, it's two people you would be hurting, not just yourself. If you have been excluding his interests from consideration in this, then add that omission as another reason why you do not care for this man and should leave him be. I think, though, that he deserves the candor of what you have expressed here. Tell him nicely. Perhaps it will improve communication between the two of you in this important area. Even if it ends, an honest farewell, expressed nicely, will bode you well.
It's hard to hurt someone you care for. I don't even know how to bring this up. And good lord it will be awkward when my brother finds out.
Known him for 6 months, been exclusively dating for like 4 with sexual intimacy. I guess an actual conversation is needed. I've never done this before.
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