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Old 01-22-2015, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,762 posts, read 53,045,989 times
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Wait until the sexual tension gets so strong that you make out hot and heavy.If she's showing sexy pics...she wants sex with you eventually.
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Old 01-22-2015, 09:01 PM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,684,619 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Wait until the sexual tension gets so strong that you make out hot and heavy.If she's showing sexy pics...she wants sex with you eventually.
That's how I interpreted it. You don't send sexy pics to someone the day before a date unless you're at least somewhat interested in having sex with them. But it is perhaps telling that the pics she chose to send were only from the chest up. Was she worried that I'd be turned off if I saw the rest of her? Perhaps, although it's not like I haven't seen what she looks like already. She said she was sick today. I'll give her time to recover and then let her decide if she wants to reschedule our date. Hopefully she won't cancel again.
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Old 01-22-2015, 09:09 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,456 posts, read 53,011,596 times
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Well... I don't have much to offer the OP in terms of advice... I find that there have been a few somewhat nice comments here, I thought for sure all the pathetic woman haters here would start with all the fat girl jokes or things of that nature...kudos to OP for being a decent guy and trying to make her feel good about herself.....
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Old 01-22-2015, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,762 posts, read 53,045,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
That's how I interpreted it. You don't send sexy pics to someone the day before a date unless you're at least somewhat interested in having sex with them. But it is perhaps telling that the pics she chose to send were only from the chest up. Was she worried that I'd be turned off if I saw the rest of her? Perhaps, although it's not like I haven't seen what she looks like already. She said she was sick today. I'll give her time to recover and then let her decide if she wants to reschedule our date. Hopefully she won't cancel again.
Maybe she didn't want to show everything for fear someone else may get the pic.Sicknesses are going around she may very well be sick.Or she never did anything like that before and she is embarrassed.
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Old 01-22-2015, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
535 posts, read 518,326 times
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Don't mention or ask about possible insecurities. Just tell them they're beautiful and sexy a lot. Touch them a lot and show you like their body. Keep doing that and they'll get more comfortable
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:14 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,684,619 times
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Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Well... I don't have much to offer the OP in terms of advice... I find that there have been a few somewhat nice comments here, I thought for sure all the pathetic woman haters here would start with all the fat girl jokes or things of that nature...kudos to OP for being a decent guy and trying to make her feel good about herself.....
Which is really what matters to me most. Sure, I'd love to have sex with her, but not if she's not ready. It's one thing to wait because you think the relationship is moving too fast and you want to slow things down or you're not quite comfortable enough with the other person yet. That's fine. We can still get together for dinner. It's not like agreeing to come over means you've consented to have sex. But it's another thing if you want to sleep with someone, but your fears about being judged are holding you back. If that's the case here (and I have no idea if it is), I just want her to know that she has nothing to be afraid of and that I won't be turned off by her body. But I do know that weight is an issue for her since she's mentioned, on several occasions, how she's trying really hard to lose it. I almost get the impression that she's trying to tell me that if I have a problem with her weight, that it's just temporary and that eventually she'll lose it. Truthfully, I don't have a problem with her weight and if she never lost another pound, I would be OK with that. She also commented on our first date how fit I looked, which made me laugh because I know that I'm still carrying holiday weight. I remember being a bit heavy when I was younger and dating a really athletic girl. As much as I wanted to have sex with her, there was a part of me that was dreading actually getting naked. Would she be turned off by my gut, especially given how toned her body was? Thankfully, she wasn't. But it was hard for me to get past those fears and I do remember trying to delay having sex with her, thinking one more week at the gym and I might look better and less likely to turn her off. Fear has a way of paralyzing you, especially at the last minute.

Interesting article I found. Not scientific, but still illuminating. http://www.care2.com/causes/half-of-...avoid-sex.html

Last edited by DennyCrane; 01-23-2015 at 07:24 AM..
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Old 01-23-2015, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,387 posts, read 2,219,042 times
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Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

I was thinking there might be something else going on down there. It might not be the body image issue at all. Maybe this woman is experiencing something down below. I know women have said that they can be very self-conscious with regards to hygiene issues. Just a long shot theory though.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-28-2015 at 08:51 PM..
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
2,387 posts, read 2,219,042 times
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Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

Back on topic:

If I were you, I'd address this woman about why she's cancelling. It sounds like you're assuming it's the body image issue, but it doesn't sound like you're certain about that. I'd get at the root of the problem. It could be something you haven't even considered at this point.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-28-2015 at 08:54 PM..
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:54 PM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,684,619 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
Back on topic:

If I were you, I'd address this woman about why she's cancelling. It sounds like you're assuming it's the body image issue, but it doesn't sound like you're certain about that. I'd get at the root of the problem. It could be something you haven't even considered at this point.
You're right. I don't know what it's about exactly. I talked to her this morning. She says she's feeling better, but she didn't say anything about rescheduling our date. So I waited til later and left her a message asking if she'd like to setup another time. She just responded that she's interested in coming over. Hopefully she won't cancel this time.

Last edited by DennyCrane; 01-23-2015 at 01:05 PM..
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Old 01-23-2015, 01:13 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,256,199 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
Suppose you're dating someone and things have progressed to the point where you both want to have sex, but you suspect the other person is afraid because they're self conscious about their weight. What can you say or do that might help the situation? Obviously, you don't want to pressure the person nor do you want to say anything that would make them even more self-conscious about their body. Beyond just waiting, what can you do? To the women here, how often have you delayed sex with a guy because you were afraid of how he would react to your body? And if so, what helped the most as far as getting past your fears?
Honestly? Unless she has made comments to you about her weight like, "OMG, I look like such a fatarse in this picture," I wouldn't assume it's about weight. It could be anything--a scar, a botched wax job that's healing, some kind of sexual dysfunction, some kind of health issue like endometriosis (which can make sex hurt), or an STD like herpes, basically anything that would require an explanation. Or maybe she wants you to both get tested and doesn't know how to bring it up. Depending on how many times she has cancelled, it could even just be her period. Or maybe she's just plain having second thoughts about taking that step.
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