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I think that you have a 'green card' marriage- he married you so that he can stay in America.
He's acting romantic now so that you won't leave him and mess up his chances. Please, leave now (make sure that you have a safe place to go to), continue with your counseling and start divorce proceedings. No one should have to live with someone who can't control his anger. He punches the wall today, tomorrow it could be your face.
I never thought I was in a "green card marriage" until this week. I was actually the one who orginally asked him out, and the one who insisted we get married quickly as I didn't want him to be deported. But now I remember us having a fight a couple months before the wedding and he said "maybe we should wait." Guess I should have listened. Hindsight is 20/20
No I do not have low self-esteem, this was just my first serious relationship which happened to turn into marriage.
OH, come on.
As a married person and somebody who has been in more than one serious relationship, nothing just "happens" to "turn into" marriage.
You made a bad choice, for whatever reasons (many of which, it seems you've alluded to).
You can rectify it, or not. You can't fall back on the "But I've had a rough life" card, and expect anybody to be like "Well, okay, good point, stay in this situation." You'll continue to have a rough life if you don't start figuring out why you are making the self-destructive choices you are making. But it's up to you.
I know I'm being blunt, but seriously, you are the only person who can get yourself out of a bad situation, and it involves facing up to bad choices and moving past them.
Considering your own conduct speaks volumes of where you would rather be I would say stop trying to (argue) to fix your current relationship.
As much as you want to blame EVERYTHING on him, you have also been playing an insurmountable role in its degradation.
Stop playing tit for tat and call it what it is. Seek someone to talk to about your own issues and do what you should have done before all the secret lunches with other men and bull**** you have done to validate your own misgivings in this "realtionship"
Nothing excuses his behavioir towards you and nothing excuses your own towards him.
Wake up, grow up and start realizing you are a large part of your own drama.
I know you want people to feel sorry for you right now becuase things are hard...but you have to start taking your own perosnal responsibility for where you have put yourself in life.
Your an adult...stop blaming everyone else
Get off the computer and do something about it. You'll find only shallow pity here.
Last edited by rego00123; 02-20-2015 at 12:43 PM..
Considering your own conduct speaks volumes of where you would rather be I would say stop trying to (argue) to fix your current relationship.
As much as you want to blame EVERYTHING on him, you have also been playing an insurmountable role in its degradation.
Stop playing tit for tat and call it what it is. Seek someone to talk to about your own issues and do what you should have done before all the secret lunches and bull**** you have done to validate your own misgivings in this "realtionship"
Nothing excuses his behavioir towards you and nothing excuses your own towards him.
Wake up, grow up and start realizing you are a large part of your own drama.
I know you want people to feel sorry for you right now becuase things are hard...but you have to start taking your own perosnal responsibility for where you have put yourself in life.
Your an adult...stop blaming everyone else
I didn't blame everyone else. I was just saying what he did and if it is worth saving after he has done all that. And I admitted my fault in kissing the other man. Quit playing goody two shoes yourself acting like you've not done anything wrong in your own life.
I didn't blame everyone else. I was just saying what he did and if it is worth saving after he has done all that. And I admitted my fault in kissing the other man. Quit playing goody two shoes yourself acting like you've not done anything wrong in your own life.
There you go placing blame (on a total stranger no less) to make yourself feel better...happy?
You haven't "just kissed a man" you also went to lunches with men and sought out attention from exes and other male friends.
And yes you BLAMED you husbands actions for your reason they where all ok to do. You where even bragging about how you have been to lunch with other men and your husband doesn't know...wtf lady.
Now we have secret confessions of love...LMFAO
If you seriously want people to believe actions like these "just happen" out of the blue wih no invovlment form you, you have another thing coming...nobody is that ignorant.
Seriously grow up. Get a divorce and stop jerking everyone's chain.
Why do you contuinously seek pity when you know the answers to your questions?
What do you want stranger to do? Keep telling you yes it's bad?
Please...
Last edited by rego00123; 02-20-2015 at 01:07 PM..
Reason: Phone
Can I ask why you keep starting thread after thread about the same exact thing? You've already kissed someone else, you don't love him, all you do is talk about what a horrible person he is and how miserable you are - what did you expect us to say? Of course it's not worth saving.
Can I ask why you keep starting thread after thread about the same exact thing? You've already kissed someone else, you don't love him, all you do is talk about what a horrible person he is and how miserable you are - what did you expect us to say? Of course it's not worth saving.
Because i'm upset and need someone to talk to but he won't go to a counselor so the internet is the way to go..
Because i'm upset and need someone to talk to but he won't go to a counselor so the internet is the way to go..
I think you like the drama. A counselor could help you explore why that is. Once you gain some insight into your own behavior, you can begin making better choices for yourself. That's how it works. Good luck to you.
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