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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_na77
His response when I talked to him about this was that he doesn't have to tell anyone he is in a relationship or has a girlfriend, he then said she is engaged which I know for a fact she is not. He was extremely defensive and said I was over reacting and blowing it out of proportion. I'm starting to second guess myself I was just looking for an outside person to tell me yes you are over reacting or no you are not it is not normal behavior.
When I'm with someone I really adore, I want people to know we're an item. It's not something I want to be a secret. That doesn't believe I blast it, but I don't want to hide it.
I have been dating a guy for 9 months and we are both divorced individuals with children he is 40 and I am 37. Background: When we first started dating he told be about a few girls that were wanting more than friendship with him and I did not ask for this information I just took it all in. One of these women I knew from my past from high school. Current Day: The other day we were out and for some reason he tells me that he received a message from this same girl asking him if he would be her plus one for some event. He told me they are just friends (remember she wanted more before) and its not that big of a deal. He said he told her he had to work and couldn't be her plus one. This is where I got upset....I would expect someone that I'm in a exclusive relationship to say "I'm sorry I can't I have a girl friend and I'm in a relationship" I feel that just saying "I have to work" leaves the notion that if he didn't have to work that he might just be up for being her plus one.
Later I asked him did you tell her you had a girlfriend and his response was no. Mind you he gets upset with me if I change my profile picture from one of us together to something else but yet has never posted a picture of us on his FB account. I know we are older and I really don't put a lot of weight into the FB thing but if he is going to get upset with me about my pic and think it is okay to possibly entertain the idea of being a plus one to another single person blows my mind.
When being in a committed relationship I believe there are boundaries, although he doesn't think the same way, he says I'm trying to control him.
Am I wrong to be upset that he did not even acknowledge the fact that he had a GF? Is he hiding me and the fact that we have a relationship from other people on social network? Maybe playing the field?
Again, his background included him cheating on his wife. Any advice is helpful I feel very uncertain.
That was helpful to know he cheated on his wife. Lol!
His response when I talked to him about this was that he doesn't have to tell anyone he is in a relationship or has a girlfriend, he then said she is engaged which I know for a fact she is not. He was extremely defensive and said I was over reacting and blowing it out of proportion. I'm starting to second guess myself I was just looking for an outside person to tell me yes you are over reacting or no you are not it is not normal behavior.
He absolutely, positively does not have to tell anyone he is in a relationship.
The question is: Do you want to be someone's secret girlfriend?
I know what my answer would be. But you can't argue him into doing that, that's how he behaves when you're not around.
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You're not being the controlling one, he's controlling you. He's keeping a tap on you so you won't step out on him like he might be doing to you. I would be careful with this one. You might have to break up with him.
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