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Hi All, I would really appreciate if ladies could help and I really appreciate your feedback. Women's take on my situation will be greatly helpful.
I went hiking with a group and got to know this lady(let me call lady A) and she is a real estate agent. The moment we introduced each other I found out that she looked at me a bit differently, the kinda of feeling that she is interested in me. Since I am single and not dating and am looking for a good partner, and since it just so happeens that I've thought about getting a house for a while I decided to reach out to her and she replied back shortly and we met the first time for dinner, which is roughly about 1 weeks after the hiking. I can def tell she is a very outgoing person and has good personalities.
The dinner went very well. We talked about what I wanted for a house and we briefly talked about our backgrounds/interests/family/siblings, she even asked my birthday(I didn't ask hers). We are both in mid-30s. At some point she even mentioned to me she was once engaged but had broken up from that relationship. However, when that happen I don't know, but likely not within 1 ~ 2 years I think. She seemed very nice and . I felt that she seemed interested in me. But, maybe this is who she is as an outgoing person and maybe also because that she was in a relaxed mood with some champaigne.
I think lady A is interested in me and I kinda have more evidence to prove my feeling. During the dinner lady A referred me to a loan officer(let me call lady B). I got in contact with lady B and chatted on the phone. She asked about pre-approval and some basic info like if I am single, no kids... etc. I kinda feel that lady B wanted to know if was single when she asked me, and I felt that it may have something to do with lady A since both ladies work together. When I went met lady B in person to provide all the docs for pre-approval, we went over docs and at some point lady B kinda double confirmed with me if I was single to which I said yes.
After that, a couple of days later I texted lady A saying that we can go check out houses over weekend during the day and then have something together in the evening and watch sunset at beach afterwards. She took up the offer and we were scheduled for this.
We went house checking on Sunday in the afternoon. I kinda purposely asked her what she would perfer if she were to buy a house(I know she didn't have a house and was renting and are still renting now), and whether she would buy this house or like this and that...etc. I think she could feel my intention. After done checking houses we went to a restaruant by the ocean and the beach. In the restaurant we talked more about our families/backgrounds/interests/and a bit more stuff on houses. I also got a chance to ask her birthday since I didn't ask last time and she told me that. Then she asked my birthday again. I am not sure if she forgot about my birthday or forgot about having asked about my birthday. I think it is the latter since she seemed not knowing the date and my sign which she asked and briefly discussed last time. Both of us are in mid-30s. There was a family with kids next to us. She asked me how many kids I want and I said 1 or 2. I asked her same question she said open/undecided. She asked me if I was dating I said no. Then I asked her the same question she said she just started dating to which I responded to her "oh great!" and she seemed surprised at my response.
After dinner we went down to beach for sunset. She didn't look all that happy at all on her face. Not sure if it was because my "oh great" response, or becaue she saw a couple of lovers hugging togethers and wacthing sunset just like us. She stood right next to me but had a slight angle off me possibly towards one of the couples in the front. After sunset was done we went back to her car because I'd left my stuff there before we went for sunset. When we said good night and hugged each other I could feel the tension and feeling between us became more like friends. This concludes the end of the story thus far.
I know she should get the feelings I am interested in her. And I think she is likely interested in me too otherwise she wouldn't have come out to have dinner with me and the beach and sunset watching, plus the feel I got from lady B with the way she asked me if i was single. However, when lady A said she just started dating when I asked her, I really do not know what she meant by that. Is she really dating or not ? Is she really interested in me or not ? What should I do next ? Should I be more upfront and honest about my intention or should I keep asking her out and keep it light and fun and find out more gradually ?
It sounds like she was interested, but then when you said, "Oh, great!", she cooled off. Maybe she thought you weren't interested, after all. Did you ever text her after the day you spent together Sunday, to say you had a great time and enjoyed her company? if not, that would definitely be the next step. How she chooses to respond might give you a hint as to where she's at with this.
I think she's potentially interested, though I'm not certain that Lady B asking if you're single was really for Lady A's benefit. They ask you a lot of personal info when applying for mortgages. I don't recall if I was asked that when I applied for a pre-approval, but the real estate agents also knew that I was single and purchasing the home on my own. But I know I had to supply all that info once I was going through the approval process.
Anyway, I think there's potential there, but I'm not certain. I think you need to take her out again. It'd be odd to watch walk on the beach and watch a sunset with someone who's purely a business associate. Not sure what happened with the "oh great!" comment. I think her response can be interpreted a few ways. She might also be a bit uncomfortable mixing business with pleasure, so be careful. Take her out again and see what happens. Good luck with the house and the lady!
from my experience and what i've read on this board, anytime u have to question whether someone is interested in u or not, 7 times out of 10 they arent, 3 out of 10 someone is overthinking.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by howdydoody342
from my experience and what i've read on this board, anytime u have to question whether someone is interested in u or not, 7 times out of 10 they arent, 3 out of 10 someone is overthinking.
I guess at some point you completely forgot she is a real estate agent interested in making commission. She's probably hoping the mild hints at interest will lead to a closed deal before things get more uncomfortable.
1. If I ask her out again, should I keep it light and try to find out her interest slowly, or, should I be upfront and let her know my intentions ? Since I can't read this lady's mind, I don't know if she would prefer to keep it light and start slowly or she is ok with me begin upfront. What if I am upfront with her but rather she prefers it to be light in the beginning ?
2. If I am to be upfront with her and communicate my romantic intentions, what would be the best way to win her over firmly and surely ?
3. I am thinking about switching to a different agent and telling her that my priority with her is as a lady rather than an agent. In other words, I want to stop the biz relationship with her and only pursue romantic relationship with her if she is interested. What's your take on this approach ? If it is not a good approach, how can I put the main focus on romantic rather than biz relationship ?
Ask her out and see what happens...she says she is "dating" but she isn't in relationship yet.
However I don't recommend doing business with people you are or will be potentially "dating". Things could get "messy" to say the least.
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