Dating protocol in your 40's? (marriage, woman, separate, advice)
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So I've just jumped back into the dating pool since my marriage of 13 years ended last year. I have a profile on Match and met a nice guy for drinks last week. We are meeting again tonight for dinner, very casual place, nothing fancy. We are meeting there, I'm not being picked up which is what I'd prefer. So, does the guy still pay for most "dates"? I was with ex for almost 15 years, so it's been a while since I've been in this situation. I'm a VERY independent woman and have no problem paying for myself, but I also don't want to offend anyone. To me, the finances of dating have always seemed awkward and stressful to me. Any advice/experiences?
If I'm going to dinner with a new man, I usually just offer to split the check. If he says no, I don't argue or insist on paying for my half. What I will do is say something like "Ok, the next time we go for drinks/coffee/ etc, it's on me"
Why would anyone be offended if you offered to pay? Actually if a guy is seriously offended that your offered to pay, it's probably a sign of some innate inflexibility that should raise a red flag.
So I've just jumped back into the dating pool since my marriage of 13 years ended last year. I have a profile on Match and met a nice guy for drinks last week. We are meeting again tonight for dinner, very casual place, nothing fancy. We are meeting there, I'm not being picked up which is what I'd prefer. So, does the guy still pay for most "dates"? I was with ex for almost 15 years, so it's been a while since I've been in this situation. I'm a VERY independent woman and have no problem paying for myself, but I also don't want to offend anyone. To me, the finances of dating have always seemed awkward and stressful to me. Any advice/experiences?
It has nothing to do with age. There's not a separate protocol for people above any arbitrarily-designated age. It seems reasonable that if you're both coming from online dating, you'd each pay your own way while you're in the preliminary stage of scoping out potential interest and compatibility. You're in this process together; why should 1 person have to bear the financial burden of meeting up with a stranger or near-stranger? At what point that should shift, though, I don't know. For Date 2, I'd go intending to pay for my meal.
I guess I didn't mean by age, more just that I've been out of the loop for so long! Can't we skip all the formalities and go straight to watching TV, wearing yoga pants and eating pizza?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andie1969
I guess I didn't mean by age, more just that I've been out of the loop for so long! Can't we skip all the formalities and go straight to watching TV, wearing yoga pants and eating pizza?
You can if you want.
That would be a real bummer to me, personally. The dating and courting are fun.
I guess I didn't mean by age, more just that I've been out of the loop for so long! Can't we skip all the formalities and go straight to watching TV, wearing yoga pants and eating pizza?
Not if you have any concern for your safety! The preliminaries are there for a reason.
Just make sure to use a condom. Genital warts are on the rise and syphilis is making a comeback!
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