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[quote=TabulaRasa;38817801]Agreed. If you choose to be a parent, I have no idea why parenting wouldn't be your primary concern, possibly - though not necessarily - to the exclusion of career furthering for a time. If you DON'T want parenting to take center stage, I don't get why you'd choose to be a parent, to be honest. It's not like it's a part-time thing that you do on the side when your job allows.
This is so true. When I worked and had children at home, I always felt as though I was doing EVERYTHING in a half assed way. What jolted me into quitting my job was when I realized that the only thing I could really get away with short changing was my children because they had no choice.
Women and society for that matter got sold a bill of goods in terms of how SAHM versus working outside the home.
Some how we got to a place in our society where raising children and not having a job outside of the home is looked down upon.
Not sure how the heck that happened, but it surely did.
To be honest, this is one area where women just can't win. If you are a stay at home mom - you are unambitious, lazy, a burden, etc. and if you are a working mom - you don't care about your children, you put your career first, your children are being raised by nannies, etc. And this isn't just from men - women are extremely judgmental about this as well. I have friends who stay at home and friends who work - and they all love their children just as much. I stay home - and my husband prefers it that way. I didn't really know what I was going to want to do - but after we had our first son, I couldn't imagine having to leave him at day care or with a nanny. And since we could afford it, it just made sense for me to stay at home. Plus, with the kind of career I had, we realized that it was just better for me to stay home for awhile. I work a bit here and there - but being a stay at home mom just works for us. And I've never felt looked down upon by anyone that matters to me- so that's nice!
To be honest, this is one area where women just can't win. If you are a stay at home mom - you are unambitious, lazy, a burden, etc. and if you are a working mom - you don't care about your children, you put your career first, your children are being raised by nannies, etc. And this isn't just from men - women are extremely judgmental about this as well. I have friends who stay at home and friends who work - and they all love their children just as much. I stay home - and my husband prefers it that way. I didn't really know what I was going to want to do - but after we had our first son, I couldn't imagine having to leave him at day care or with a nanny. And since we could afford it, it just made sense for me to stay at home. Plus, with the kind of career I had, we realized that it was just better for me to stay home for awhile. I work a bit here and there - but being a stay at home mom just works for us. And I've never felt looked down upon by anyone that matters to me- so that's nice!
I don't care how people spin it and say whatever they need to to sleep at night, but having family raise kids is a million times better than someone you pay.
I just don't give a crap about what others say on this subject. I always get a bit of flack from people saying how day care is fine, blah blah blah.....
BS, it isn't' "fine" it's ok, but really, at the end of the day I'd be horrified if I had to have someone else raise my kids........
I understand that sometimes stuff happens and you have to have daycare... I understand that. I just also see a lot of parent that don't want to sacrifice, they want the two incomes when you could just tighten the belt a bit and have one stay at home. Heck, just in our family alone I've seen it.
I'm not an idiot, I get real world stuff, I just get a bit irked when people try and spin it like daycare is on par with having a family member care for the kids.
I say all this as a non-parent, so I give that disclaimer ahead.
To be honest, this is one area where women just can't win. If you are a stay at home mom - you are unambitious, lazy, a burden, etc. and if you are a working mom - you don't care about your children, you put your career first, your children are being raised by nannies, etc. And this isn't just from men - women are extremely judgmental about this as well. I have friends who stay at home and friends who work - and they all love their children just as much. I stay home - and my husband prefers it that way. I didn't really know what I was going to want to do - but after we had our first son, I couldn't imagine having to leave him at day care or with a nanny. And since we could afford it, it just made sense for me to stay at home. Plus, with the kind of career I had, we realized that it was just better for me to stay home for awhile. I work a bit here and there - but being a stay at home mom just works for us. And I've never felt looked down upon by anyone that matters to me- so that's nice!
I'm sorry I have to throw the bul**** flag on the play.
I don't know anyone who says those things about a woman who stays home with her kids.
I'm sorry I have to throw the bul**** flag on the play.
I don't know anyone who says those things about a woman who stays home with her kids.
It's when they stay home AFTER their kids....
People say that all the time on here. You might not know anyone in your real life that says those things - but they say them a lot on here. But like I said, women get flack no matter what decision they make.
Just want to put in my two cents - being a stay at home mom doesn't mean that you lack ambition.
Carry on.
It really doesn't.
Sometimes (often) parents put personal goals on hold, restructure the way they will pursue them, draw up a different timeline, change their goals, develop new ambitions, etc. But being a parent, stay-home or not, does not mean your ambitions in life dry up. And many ambitions may well have to do with the role of parenting, itself. Not all ambition is career ambition.
Sometimes (often) parents put personal goals on hold, restructure the way they will pursue them, draw up a different timeline, change their goals, develop new ambitions, etc. But being a parent, stay-home or not, does not mean your ambitions in life dry up. And many ambitions may well have to do with the role of parenting, itself. Not all ambition is career ambition.
Very good point.
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