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It's been 4 years since I broke up with my ex that lasted 3 years. When I usually broke up with someone I forget about them instantly, then move on. But this ex hasn't been forgotten, for one a friend of mine, remains friends with this ex, so she tells me everything that's going on even when I told her not too. And I have forgotten about him sometimes I go on and never think or talk about him but then part of me goes back to doing that or even looking him up online.
Since that break up, I have dated and tried getting into a new Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationship, but nothing has happened since my ex and I. So what should I do to forget about him for good? I just don't know what to do, I do forget but yet things happen that causes things to come back in all over again.
I don't know.
ok. block, delete, and tell your so-called friend to shut her mouth.
It's been 4 years since I broke up with my ex that lasted 3 years. When I usually broke up with someone I forget about them instantly, then move on. But this ex hasn't been forgotten, for one a friend of mine, remains friends with this ex, so she tells me everything that's going on even when I told her not too. And I have forgotten about him sometimes I go on and never think or talk about him but then part of me goes back to doing that or even looking him up online.
Since that break up, I have dated and tried getting into a new Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationship, but nothing has happened since my ex and I. So what should I do to forget about him for good? I just don't know what to do, I do forget but yet things happen that causes things to come back in all over again.
I don't know.
Forgetting is probably not hardwired in the human brain, especially when pain is involved.
When someone hurts you, it's like a bee-sting. You don't forget how bee stings feel. You try your best not to think about it. And, eventually when you're not surrounded by someone who constantly reminds you of your ex, your mind will subconsciously let go.
Letting go of hurt happens progressively with time. But, people don't forget. They can forgive if they wish, but most do not forget.
I completely understand how the OP feels. I left my alcoholic husband going on two years ago. He instantly met and married someone else. I have struggled the entire time, trying to get over him. Yes, I left him. However, to Ace_TX -- just because you are the one to end a relationship doesn't mean that "you have no reason to still be thinking about the person." I loved my ex with everything I had, but he loved his alcohol more than he did me. He refused to give it up and when he started becoming violent, I had no choice but to leave. I still miss him and honestly, still love him. I'm still not sure how to move on or how to love someone else. No, I would never go back to that situation. But you can't just "will" the feelings away when you truly loved someone. In the past two years, I have been out with several guys and dated two seriously. But it always breaks down because my heart still belongs to my ex.
And you have yourself to blame for that because you refuse to let go of the past.
Until you choose to control your emotions and choose to move on you will continue to dig your
"but I still love him even though he is a violent alcoholic" ex husband controlling you rut deeper.
Seek professional therapy, soon.
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