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I got a female friend, she was married to a guy. When they met, she was 14, and the guy was 22. So they married when she was 16, and had two children( boy and girl). Obviously, from the outside this seems the classic case of pregnant teen with an older guy, with no future whatsoever. But they managed to stay together for 12 years.
A few years ago, when he was 33 he abandoned her (not that shocking), and married a 18 years old girl. (a younger model, as to speak). A few months later the new one delivered a baby girl, and 3 months later she was pregnant again (another baby girl). So she's barely 20 and mother of two baby girls with the guy.
Now, do you think one of the causes of she getting pregnant again is because she wanted to have a boy? These people is from Ecuador, so there having a male heir is important.
Second, during the time the guy was with my friend he managed to make some good investments, and had a bit of money. When he abandoned my friend, he made some bad moves and is almost bankrupt.
So I guess the new one thought she had got the jackpot, but now things are less rosy. Two baby girls in a macho culture country, and husband who has lost his money, and perhaps blames his bad luck on her, th fact that she started as a lover, or "family breaker", so she can´t blame anyone, etc.
By the way, notice hos the guy always seem to pick up much younger girls, so we can see he's got a predatory mindset.
So how would you read the whole situation, and what prediction for the future would you forecast?
By the way, my friend seems to be copying with it quite well, she started studying and working and getting on with her life.
Now, do you think one of the causes of she getting pregnant again is because she wanted to have a boy? These people is from Ecuador, so there having a male heir is important.
So how would you read the whole situation, and what prediction for the future would you forecast?
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Often a pregnancy that soon after the birth of a child is an accident. People make the mistake of thinking they cant get pregnant because their cycle isnt back to normal or because they are breast feeding. So who knows, who cares.
A mistress who broke up the marriage and took that husband can be sure she better stick next to him like glue 24-7, because he will do this again and again.
A mistress who broke up the marriage and took that husband can be sure she better stick next to him like glue 24-7, because he will do this again and again.
Exactly. These patterns repeat themselves. A woman who has an affair feels great that she got the guy to leave his wife, only to find years later, that she, herself, is in the discard pile as the guy moves on.
But why are you asking us? And btw, your friend sounds like a winner. She turned around adverse circumstances, and is getting ahead in life.
But why are you asking us? And btw, your friend sounds like a winner. She turned around adverse circumstances, and is getting ahead in life.
Well, I ask because I like to hear the opinion of people about an issue that is very close to me, and very painful. Internet gives me a sense of anonymity, and you can talk about stuff you would not talk about in real life. I've only spoken about this with certain members of my family, and they are sick about it, they just told me to forget about her and move on. I was in love with her...platonic stuff, because she was married. Then the whole thing happened, and a part of me said "okay, is now my turn?", but another part of me thought "man, you are just a predatory loser". Things happened, mistakes were made, and everything I dreamt of went down the toilet.
She's back in Ecuador now, I am still in Spain, so it doesn´t look like we'll have a happy story together. I just can´t forget her, perhaps I am masochist or something.
I just wish the guy and his new model get what they deserve, it makes me feel angry because they hurt her.
Anyway, I know this is very pathetic and trailer trashy, but makes me feel better to hear unbiased and constructive feedback, thanks for your answers.
Oh, thanks so much for your answer. It wasn't clear from your OP that "friend" meant that kind of friend. It sounded a bit abstract, it wasn't clear you were personally involved. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Ecuadorans can be great. I wonder if it might be worth a trip there to see her?
btw, the economy there is in the toilet (thanks to the US and IMF policies), but I guess you knew that. Was she able to get a good job back home?
Oh, thanks so much for your answer. It wasn't clear from your OP that "friend" meant that kind of friend. It sounded a bit abstract, it wasn't clear you were personally involved. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Ecuadorans can be great. I wonder if it might be worth a trip there to see her?
btw, the economy there is in the toilet (thanks to the US and IMF policies), but I guess you knew that. Was she able to get a good job back home?
Yes Ruth, Ecuador's economy is in shambles. My dream is working hard here in Spain for a few years (or perhaps in Norway, where wages are 3-4 times bigger) and buy a house there. You can buy a big house by the beach even cheaper than an apartment in Europe. But I don´t wanna be the classic guy who wastes his life away trying to chase an impossible dream, going there in 10-15 years and say "okay,F, I made it, I got some money saved, so I am gonna buy us a big house and we will be happy for the rest of our lives", that kind of stuff only happens in movies, and it's just crazy.
But to tell you the truth, I'd like to show up there in Ecuador with some dough in my pockets and rub it up the guy's face, like "who's the loser now". (which is a very lame plan, I know).
I just want her to be happy, the problem is I don´t know how. While our "special friendship" there were moments I felt in paradise, and 5 minutes later I felt like a living nightmare, so I guess money won´t make a difference, it would just make it more artificial.
She's studying tourism, the city where she lives in is a major touristic destination. The problem with the tourism industry is that they just want young faces and people who speak several languages, and she struggles even with Spanish, her mother tongue. (and mine).
Donno, perhaps I am suffering some existencial crisis...it's been like that for the past 5 years, I guess it's about time to really handle it.
I got a female friend, she was married to a guy. When they met, she was 14, and the guy was 22. So they married when she was 16, and had two children( boy and girl). Obviously, from the outside this seems the classic case of pregnant teen with an older guy, with no future whatsoever. But they managed to stay together for 12 years.
A few years ago, when he was 33 he abandoned her (not that shocking), and married a 18 years old girl. (a younger model, as to speak). A few months later the new one delivered a baby girl, and 3 months later she was pregnant again (another baby girl). So she's barely 20 and mother of two baby girls with the guy.
Now, do you think one of the causes of she getting pregnant again is because she wanted to have a boy? These people is from Ecuador, so there having a male heir is important.
Second, during the time the guy was with my friend he managed to make some good investments, and had a bit of money. When he abandoned my friend, he made some bad moves and is almost bankrupt.
So I guess the new one thought she had got the jackpot, but now things are less rosy. Two baby girls in a macho culture country, and husband who has lost his money, and perhaps blames his bad luck on her, th fact that she started as a lover, or "family breaker", so she can´t blame anyone, etc.
By the way, notice hos the guy always seem to pick up much younger girls, so we can see he's got a predatory mindset.
So how would you read the whole situation, and what prediction for the future would you forecast?
By the way, my friend seems to be copying with it quite well, she started studying and working and getting on with her life.
I think you have the makings of a hit trashy TV show on your hands.
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