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My early 30 something co-worker made a comment about how women in a marriage should also bring home a paycheck rather than sit home as a housewife. He believes in equality.
So I ask him who takes care of the baby and house while you're here at work.
He replied she does during the day and goes out to work at around 1am at a hospital.
So then I said "that doesn't sound right, you work 9-6 then comes home and expects dinner made and then your wife also has to work late at night. Then what is your job other than a paycheck?"
He said he takes care of the baby at night until his wife returns home in the morning.
Then I ask "So, does your wife have any time to sleep?"
He said "Sure she does, all day until he gets home."
Then "What about house work like cleaning, and the baby is up during the day, how can she get any sleep."
He says his wife can manage and she makes less than he does.
I say to myself, this doesn't sound like equality at all..
If that's the way their marriage works and both parties are fine, as in happy with it, who the hell are we to judge? One thing we often do is project our definition of marriage, equality etc on others. The dude could be mouthing off for all you know...just thank your stars you're not married to him, and keep it moving.
No, it doesn't sound equal, to me. There are all kinds of "equal" including one person making the money and the other taking care of the house and kids.
That doesn't sound like equality to me, either, but luckily I am not married to that guy. I wouldn't say anything about it to him though, he isn't interested in your opinion, only in spouting his own.
Unfortunately, many people equate "equality" with "monetary contribution to the family." Equality is so much more than a dollar sign -- it's the ability to have an equal say in the running of the household, in the spending of the household income, in the investments of the family, in the financial goals of the family, as well as respect and consideration for the talents and skills that both parties bring to the table.
I daresay your co-worker was probably defensive while you were grilling him on "equality" -- but maybe you gave him food for thought. Change doesn't come instantly, sometimes you have to plant seeds. :-)
My early 30 something co-worker made a comment about how women in a marriage should also bring home a paycheck rather than sit home as a housewife. He believes in equality.
So I ask him who takes care of the baby and house while you're here at work.
He replied she does during the day and goes out to work at around 1am at a hospital.
So then I said "that doesn't sound right, you work 9-6 then comes home and expects dinner made and then your wife also has to work late at night. Then what is your job other than a paycheck?"
He said he takes care of the baby at night until his wife returns home in the morning.
Then I ask "So, does your wife have any time to sleep?"
He said "Sure she does, all day until he gets home."
Then "What about house work like cleaning, and the baby is up during the day, how can she get any sleep."
He says his wife can manage and she makes less than he does.
I say to myself, this doesn't sound like equality at all..
I'd stay out of it. Their setup could be working perfectly for them.
What about asking....
"Who shovels the snow outside when 24" of snow falls? (if applicable)"
"Who maintains the vehicles?"
"Who does yard work? Or home improvements?"
"If the hot water heater breaks, who handles that?"
I prefer to look at my relationship as "teamwork". We both contribute to the household in terms of finances, decisionmaking, and assisting each other with various tasks. But, i'm not going to kid myself here. I'm a terrible cook. My girl handles that. But, at the same time...when we get 36" of snow from a Blizzard...I know that snowblowing is all my responsibility. So while we might not share equal roles in all the household tasks, we still work together to create a great home together. That works for us, and frankly she tells me she's rather cook dinner than snowblow snow, or help me mow the grass, or fix the brakes on her car.
Last edited by BostonMike7; 04-20-2015 at 10:38 AM..
My early 30 something co-worker made a comment about how women in a marriage should also bring home a paycheck rather than sit home as a housewife. He believes in equality.
So I ask him who takes care of the baby and house while you're here at work.
He replied she does during the day and goes out to work at around 1am at a hospital.
So then I said "that doesn't sound right, you work 9-6 then comes home and expects dinner made and then your wife also has to work late at night. Then what is your job other than a paycheck?"
He said he takes care of the baby at night until his wife returns home in the morning.
Then I ask "So, does your wife have any time to sleep?"
He said "Sure she does, all day until he gets home."
Then "What about house work like cleaning, and the baby is up during the day, how can she get any sleep."
He says his wife can manage and she makes less than he does.
I say to myself, this doesn't sound like equality at all..
Your friend is an idiot. I wouldn't expect that marriage to last very long.
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