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It's true, people should acknowledge and own their feelings. But when men do it, they tend not to involve others in that process too much. Don't assume that it's not happening though. Men just operate better when feelings are put in a box until they can be processed later, at a more appropriate time, privately.
Is that what's happening when some dudes get into fights and road rage incidents? Just putting all those feelings in a box?
Is that what's happening when some dudes get into fights and road rage incidents?
No. What happens in those cases is that the men involved are morons who can't control their emotions. it's the kind of thing that happens when you let it all out, uncontrolled. You know, like venting. But with fists instead of cheesecake.
No. What happens in those cases is that the men involved are morons who can't control their emotions. it's the kind of thing that happens when you let it all out, uncontrolled. You know, like venting.
No it's the result of suppressing your emotions until they explode like you are suggesting.
No it's the result of suppressing your emotions until they explode like you are suggesting.
It's not. People who do that sort of stupid **** are morons who can't keep their emotions under control. Controlling and suppressing are different things, unlike what you're suggesting. They mean different things and cannot be used interchangeably.
It's not. People who do that sort of stupid **** are morons who can't keep their emotions under control. Controlling and suppressing are different things, unlike what you're suggesting. They mean different things and cannot be used interchangeably.
What is the definition of controlling your emotions to you? It seems like you don't believe in talking things out.
BTW your previous post was really quite vague. And you seem to believe that all men should process their emotions in the same exact way.
What is the definition of controlling your emotions to you? It seems like you don't believe in talking things out.
BTW your previous post was really quite vague. And you seem to believe that all men should process their emotions in the same exact way.
I haven't given any indication at all that I don't believe in talking things out. Nor do I believe that you shouldn't. But there's a time, and a way. Blurting out every little emotion the moment it hits you and burdening others unnecessarily is not the way.
There's a world of difference between :
Hiding a negative emotion away in order to not deal with it (until it explodes), and...
Letting it simmer down until one is in a better position to process it sensibly (so that it doesn't explode)
What I believe is that men are mostly wired to control their emotions. Some get it wrong, but that's what men are wired to do. Venting and blurting is fine if it's kept to a minimum, otherwise it gets ridiculous.
Controlling an emotion means putting yourself in a state of mind where you get to determine what you do about it, rather than letting your whims take over. Just like being in control of a car doesn't mean suppressing anything, it means being able to determine what the car does, rather than letting it control you.
I haven't given any indication at all that I don't believe in talking things out. Nor do I believe that you shouldn't. But there's a time, and a way. Blurting out every little emotion the moment it hits you and burdening others unnecessarily is not the way.
True but you don't think women handle their emotions the same way? Do you really think women blurt out every single emotion that they feel no matter how insignificant?
What me and other posters are trying to point out to you is that there really shouldn't be a difference in how men and women express themselves. It should just be a matter of what is a healthy and unhealthy way of expressing ones feelings.
True but you don't think women handle their emotions the same way? Do you really think women blurt out every single emotion that they feel no matter how insignificant?
What me and other posters are trying to point out to you is that there really shouldn't be a difference in how men and women express themselves. It should just be a matter of what is a healthy and unhealthy way of expressing ones feelings.
Wishing for complete equality is one thing, but reality says differently. Reality doesn't care about shoulds.
Women are wired to express their emotions and that's a good thing, and it's a good reminder to men that it's ok to do so, just as men's way is a good reminder to women that sometimes it's best to deal with things on your own and not vent so much.
But just as some men fail to control their emotions, some women fail to express theirs appropriately. No one is immune to getting it wrong.
Sometimes I get the feeling that the PUA and MRA sites funnel their members onto this forum...
I'm starting to believe this too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pauloroberts
Wishing for complete equality is one thing, but reality says differently. Reality doesn't care about shoulds.
Women are wired to express their emotions and that's a good thing, and it's a good reminder to men that it's ok to do so, just as men's way is a good reminder to women that sometimes it's best to deal with things on your own and not vent so much.
But just as some men fail to control their emotions, some women fail to express theirs appropriately. No one is immune to getting it wrong.
Getting it wrong, are you serious?
So people are only allowed to express their emotions according to their gender?
It never cease to amaze how stuck on gender some of you guys really are. In fact it's comments like these that convince that such a mindset is purely the result of some archaic social conditioning.
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