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Ha! No, I wouldn't unload on you. Even at 5:00 a.m.
This is just one of those subjects that comes up on here every few months in one way, shape, or form, and it astounds me how some people think that once they're dating someone, every little thing the person does has something to do with them and their comfort level. It's narcissistic because it shows a lack of boundaries. "Other men will look at her. She's MINE (property) and how she dresses reflects on ME (no boundaries)."
No one has ever told me how to dress. But some have tried to tell me what to do and how to be about other surface-level things and I was, shall we say, very obviously displeased.
The dynamic that women have is different than men... women have been historically been "less than" so a woman may or may not have a different view of things, and all this may be totally subconscious...
There are differing things at play at times with people... and sometimes those things aren't obvious....people pop off, they act certain ways..... whatever....
Treating a person less than, is something that men don't easily recognize as much cause they don't fall victim to it as much... I'm a middle aged white man... I really at the end of the day have the most advantages,.... we make jokes that white men are the most hated group there is... but... really..... are they... I mean white men still sort of run things.. at least now... it will change and is changing............
So... to simplify things.. should a man tell a woman how to dress... not bloody likely... show a man control a woman and treat her like his property..... not if he wants to keep her...... should a man make an attempt to control other simple basic things about a woman......... LOL... most certainly not....
Everyone is completely getting the wrong end of the stick here.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
I get on really well with her and would never become controlling or anything like that, the women on here have just completely taken this the wrong way.
deal with it. i have dated women who've worn short ass, figure hugging dresses on nights out (while i am not with them) and that's even worse than her being at work. i even asked her "how many times did you get hit on?" and we just laughed about it. when you're dating a girl who likes dressing sexy, it's all part of the territory that she will likely be hit on or flirted with; there isn't much you can do about it because she likes to dress that way and who am i to stop her?
i don't own her, so she does what she wants, wears what she wants, thinks how she wants - simple. it works the other side of the coin too, guys will go to the gym and build a lean, muscular body, then go on nights out and wear tighter clothes for two reasons - for attention and to look good; women do the same, whether it be to get the attention of guys, generally look & feel good or make sure they stand out vs other women, there's always a method to the madness with both genders.
Everyone is completely getting the wrong end of the stick here.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
I get on really well with her and would never become controlling or anything like that, the women on here have just completely taken this the wrong way.
Interesting that you think only the women have taken it the wrong way in this thread.
Everyone is completely getting the wrong end of the stick here.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
I get on really well with her and would never become controlling or anything like that, the women on here have just completely taken this the wrong way.
No...plenty of men well......but your trying to call out only the women is quite telling.
She's a bartender....not a prostitute in a window. She's pulling pints, making cocktails and being charming to the guests she has sitting at her area. Her job is not having men 'perv all over her' and that's only in your imagination because you want to mark your territory like a dog that pees on a tree by changing how she dresses and acts.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
.
But what most people are trying to say is that she dressed revealing when you met her. She dressed like that when you started dating. That's how she dresses--she hasn't changed. You were once one of the room full of guys perving over her. The fact that you're uncomfortable with her clothing choices now is on you, and it's a bit possessive.
Everyone is completely getting the wrong end of the stick here.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
I get on really well with her and would never become controlling or anything like that, the women on here have just completely taken this the wrong way.
Honestly if the men are going to perv out over her, that one button may make a 1% difference. You know men perv over the ultra conservative librarian look.
She lives in a tip-based world that can make or break your budget, and a nice fitted scoop next top can do that.
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Everyone is completely getting the wrong end of the stick here.
This is my third relationship and i have never told anyone how to dress. I simply brought this up wondering if anyone else would be comfortable having a girlfriend dressing the way i have explained in front of a pub full of men perving over her all day, it just makes me feel uncomfortable knowing guys just see her as a piece of meat thats all. Yes i found her attractive the way she dressed before i started seeing her, yes i find her attractive now, i just feel that she doesnt need to have it all hanging out in front of a room full of men all day thats all, if thats me being over the top then fine but im sure there are others who would share the same view on that as me.
I get on really well with her and would never become controlling or anything like that, the women on here have just completely taken this the wrong way.
You didn't have this problem before because you weren't dating this particular woman before. And keep your story straight - is this about one button at the pub - or is this about her caking on the makeup, having attention seeking behavior, and wearing very revealing clothes whenever she is out?
Just for the record - there are guys who will always see her as a piece of meat - no matter what she's wearing. But she's a bartender. She makes a living on tips. So, you think that now that she is dating you, she should cover up, change her makeup, and change her "attention seeking" personality? You were attracted to her in the beginning - but now that she is "yours" - you think she should change? Did you think that they way she acted and dressed was all to attract a man, and now that she has one, she should change everything? That's not how things work.
Ill just end this here as its gone way out of hand now.
I realise i cant/wont change how she wants to look, if it gets any worse to the point where i feel she just constantly craves attention then i will just have a decision to make as to whether or not she is someone i want to be with.
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