Would you be willing to be in an open relationship and/or an in open marriage?

[Meyerland]

No open relationships for me. I'm either in a relationship or I'm single.

I very casually dated men simultaneously in the distant past, but that was before most people put out easily. I didn't have sexual relations with them. I'm 100%sure they dated other women. We weren't in a relationship though.

[zenapple]

No, I can't see it happening. In theory it doesn't sound too bad, but I don't think I would like it in real life. And I know for a fact that my husband wouldn't seek out that type of arrangement. He's said so in no uncertain terms whenever it came up in the past in discussion. He respects that it can worj for many people but it's not something he's interested in. Me, I never liked the idea of dating even when I was single, so I fsrned sure eouldnt start seeking it out now lol.

[Leisesturm]

Originally Posted by Blackish

Where to begin... well here's the short version. My wife and I decided to open our marriage about 10 months ago. She had her first date yesterday; I will spare you the salacious details..... The world didn't end; it appears that an open marriage might well suit us.
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I think a distinction should be made between "open marriages" and "hotwife" or "cuckold" or "threesome" hook-up type arrangements. I think several posts in this thread, including yours fall mainly into the latter category. I can just about get my head around these types of arrangements. Sexual adventure and variety are repressed in the majority of marriages and it makes sense that some would find a way around it. Less understandable is opening a marriage to form emotional attachments with others. I think the emphasis on "rules" is typical but overrated. I read a first person account of one of these types of relationships written by a woman, and she admitted that although they made up elaborate rules beforehand, they both broke them all before the first year was up. When the "dates" are taking place without the primary partners participation or knowledge, the opportunities for abuse of "rules" (like condom use) are just about impossible to enforce. Why even make them. Either you trust your partner or you don't. It probably makes more sense to assume that there could be lapses and use the same kind of self-diagnosis, perhaps even returning to "safer sex" type practices that one should use in other kinds of open relationships. Essentially you both are "dating" again although legally married.

[Ginge McFantaPants]

I've come to the conclusion that the only time I start to consider the idea of an open relationship is when I'm not getting laid often enough. As long as the frequency is there, I don't even think about it. But that's just me, and I realize there are other factors in why others choose an open relationship.

[lucky2balive]

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

I've come to the conclusion that the only time I start to consider the idea of an open relationship is when I'm not getting laid often enough. As Li g as the frequency is there, I don't even think about it. But that's just me, and I realize there are other factors in why others choose an open relationship.

Do you think those in open relationships are truly in love, or is it just a step or two above friends with benefits??

Ive often wondered this...some insist that deep emotional love comes with at least a little jealousy...if you can live with your partner having sex with others, you truly aren't in love...I don't agree with this but...

Ive had group conversations at campfires and 99% of the married women are horrified at the idea of an open marriage...many of the guys ACT like they like the idea but I think they are full of it...they would never ever let their wives have sex with another...I know a few married men who admit the idea of watching their wives with other dudes turns them on, and they would do it if she would...

I could have had an open marriage with my s2bx...sex was never a problem between us...we both wanted it ALL the time...mostly...and I am not the jealous type...I was when I was younger but not any more...

[Ginge McFantaPants]

I think people can be in love with their primary partner but still have an open relationship. If you'd asked me say... 5 or 10 years ago, I would have said otherwise, but I understand it a lot more now. It's not always a matter of being unhappy in a relationship or needing more variety. Personally, I was never looking for a relationship outside of my marriage, just a casual hook-up. This is all assuming I'd actually go through with it, of course. Which is highly improbable.

Originally Posted by lucky2balive

Do you think those in open relationships are truly in love, or is it just a step or two above friends with benefits??

Ive often wondered this...some insist that deep emotional love comes with at least a little jealousy...if you can live with your partner having sex with others, you truly aren't in love...I don't agree with this but...

Ive had group conversations at campfires and 99% of the married women are horrified at the idea of an open marriage...many of the guys ACT like they like the idea but I think they are full of it...they would never ever let their wives have sex with another...I know a few married men who admit the idea of watching their wives with other dudes turns them on, and they would do it if she would...

I could have had an open marriage with my s2bx...sex was never a problem between us...we both wanted it ALL the time...mostly...and I am not the jealous type...I was when I was younger but not any more...

[Batman110]

Nope. I am happy with one woman.

[Futurist110]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Sure, buddy

OK then.

No, it isn't. You're reading and not thinking. It fails because people make mistakes and take risks.

And how exactly do I avoid making mistakes? After all, I am certainly not going to pull out or use condoms all of the time (though I will use them when necessary to protect myself against STDs).

And you know, people that have "accidental" pregnancies deal with them. Not the end of the world.

Yes; correct! However, some people deal with accidental pregnancies by getting an abortion, an option which I do not have considering that I cannot guarantee that a woman will get an abortion in the event of an unplanned pregnancy regardless of what promises she makes to me beforehand.

Also, though, people who become eunuchs (whether voluntarily or as a result of things such as testicular cancer) also deal with their lack of testicles; after all, it's certainly not the end of the world either!

I didn't get lucky at all. I just didn't do anything that would get someone pregnant.

You never had penis-in-vagina sex? You never ejaculated inside of a woman?

In any case, both of these are obvious non-starters for me.

Sigh. There goes occam's razor.

Please elaborate on this.

Actually it does. Until you do it, you don't have any idea. None. It's just speculation.

Well, let's see me do it and then I'll tell you how exactly my speculation matched up with reality in regards to this.

Did I say either of those things were true? Nope. Stop trying to say I said things that I never said.

OK.

The thought of XYZ /= the reality of XYZ, BTW.

Actually, I would add a qualifier here--the thought of XYZ does not necessarily equal the reality of XYZ.

Thanks for sharing. It means nothing. That's a solo endeavor. No relation to sex with someone else.

OK.

It tells you nothing about real sex. Nothing about being with another living person. NOTHING.

OK.

If by future, you mean never, yes, you are correct.

Um ... OK, I guess.

Get back to us when you really have sex and stop BSing around.

Will do!