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Thinking about my exes, one wasn't a good kisser bc he had super thin lips and a small mouth and kind of drooled on me, but the sex was good.
Other ex the kissing was meh and so was the sex.
Other ex the kissing was also meh and the sex was TERRIBLE
Best kisser I've experienced, couldn't last more than 5 minutes in bed.
Last hot guy was a very good kisser and amazing in bed.
Last guy is a decent kisser and the sex is decent.
I don't know about your theory, but I would say it might play out 75% of the time.
I just had to look up a few people on FB to see about lips. I can't find a pattern other than those who played wind instruments tended to be good smoochers.
There's good pizza and bad pizza but, hey, it's still pizza!
As with kissing, BJ is a skill/style and if your partner isn't doing something to your liking, tell them how you like it. Being sensual helps, but not required.
It sounds like OP and partner are communicating just fine.
I dunno. I think both have to do with how passionate and uninhibited the person is. If I had to gently nudge someone in an opposite direction, I'd rather nudge someone from being too rough/overwhelming to being more gentle than try to coax a timid/inhibited person to let go.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
I dunno. I think both have to do with how passionate and uninhibited the person is. If I had to gently nudge someone in an opposite direction, I'd rather nudge someone from being too rough/overwhelming to being more gentle than try to coax a timid/inhibited person to let go.
Excellent point. Agreed on that. Timidness is also what I seem to find out there, more than over exuberance.
I dunno. I think both have to do with how passionate and uninhibited the person is. If I had to gently nudge someone in an opposite direction, I'd rather nudge someone from being too rough/overwhelming to being more gentle than try to coax a timid/inhibited person to let go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Excellent point. Agreed on that. Timidness is also what I seem to find out there, more than over exuberance.
And one would hope that that is something that diminishes over time, as both people become more familiar and comfortable with one another. Since I tend to be an analytical type person and classic over thinker, I personally feel like I'm the type that tends to open up more over time as I better understand the person I'm with. That's when the passion really starts to grow. Of course, I'm referring to someone you are dating with whom you have little to no history with prior. If it was someone whom you were friends with for awhile, I'd expect that the starting point on the passion spectrum would be much further along down the line.
I dunno. I think both have to do with how passionate and uninhibited the person is. If I had to gently nudge someone in an opposite direction, I'd rather nudge someone from being too rough/overwhelming to being more gentle than try to coax a timid/inhibited person to let go.
Ya, but you don't know if the "problem" is due to timidness/inhibition of simply lack of experience/know-how or maybe a little of both. I say: TRY HARDER!!
^^^seriously?^^^ I find that all you need to do is coach on how kissing isn't a mechanical thing any more than "petting"... you just go with the flow and enjoy/explore the sensations and physical reactions using everything at your disposal.
I'm pretty sure this can be taught unless the person is so out of touch with how to feel and how to empathize that I wouldn't even be interested in a sexual relationship with them to begin with.
Yep, dead serious. It's a total dealbreaker.
If I can't get into kissing you, I'm not doing anything else with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I don't agree with you. Good kissing method is definitely something that can be learned. I don't know what you're referring to about sensual core. Do you think paid porn stars are digging deep into their "sensual cores" when they're doing their work? Because some of that stuff is pretty sensual and erotic and I'm pretty certain they couldn't give a rat's behind about whom they are doing it to.
That's just it ... Porn stars are working. They're paid to LOOK like they're doing a good job. Who knows if they're actually good at it??? What YOU feel when you watch it is your brain working on you; it's not them. THAT is your sensual core.
You just can't teach kissing. There are too many variables, including their reactions and potential insecurities. It's not a good place to be in when you're just starting out with someone.
Teeth knocking: total deal breaker. It's always the other person's fault.
Gnashing teeth is pretty terrible.
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