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So, there's this girl who I met about eight months ago, and we've been pretty good friends since then, but I developed a pretty big crush on her, which was really unfortunate considering she was dating someone else. So, after eight months of watching from the sidelines, I decided that i was sick and tired of it, and that I wanted to move on, find someone else who I actually COULD be with. I decided that the first step to doing this was to let my feelings be known, and tell her how I felt. I also made it abundantly clear to her that the point of telling her was to move on, and not to get in the middle of her relationship, and that I hoped we could still be friends. She promised that it wouldn't affect our friendship, which was all I could ask for.
However, three weeks after I did, I noticed that her and her boyfriend were a little more distant. They weren't holding hands, they weren't talking to each other as much, though they were still friendly to each other, but it didn't seem right. The first thought that popped through my head was that maybe they had broken up. Now, at this point, I still hadn't completely moved on, so I had just a little hope, but I also went ahead and forgot about what I saw for a couple of weeks. I didn't want to raise my hopes only to have them get dashed expertly.
Two weeks after I noticed those signs, however, she told me that she had broken up with him. She said that she had contemplated their relationship for a while and decided that they weren't right for each other, but she also said that she wasn't looking for another relationship "just yet," Now, she definitely went out of her way to tell me because she knew how I felt about her, and I don't see any reason why she would tell me that if she saw me as just a friend, and maybe was interested in me too. But I don't know how long I should wait before asking her out.
They were dating for a year and a half, though it never really got very serious (and honestly, I'm pretty sure I was spending more time with her than her boyfriend was in the last few months of their relationship)
However, if she never gave you the time of day before it probably won't be too easy after she breaks up either. If I were you, I'd ask her out once and just be ready to move on.
There's a reason guys stay friends for 8 months and never anything more.
She told you she's not looking for a relationship just yet so I'd wait a little. Be there for her as a friend and ask how she is coping with the break up. Ask her to hang out and don't make a move. Make her feel comfortable.
You already told her about your feelings, which was not the greatest idea and counterintuitive to the reasons you gave, so you might as well go ahead and ask her out.
What arbitrary time limit would you possibly follow?
Frankly, I don't think you're being honest with yourself. You should start with that and examine your actual motivations.
Don't wait anymore. Ask her out. You can't climb the ladder if you don't take that first step my man. So what if she's not ready yet? Ask again and again till she does!
Don't be the rebound or doormat for her.Find one that wants you and a relationship with you.
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