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Old 05-20-2015, 12:15 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,250,827 times
Reputation: 27047

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve wind far View Post
I am ready to call off my engagement to my fiancé. The problem is that she is extremely close with her sister. I have shown nothing but complete respect toward her whole family while I was dating my fiancé until we got engaged. When I got engaged to her she came up to me 2 weeks later and had a serious talk with me that after she accepted my marriage proposal, she spoke with her sister and her sister asked her if she is sure that she is marrying the right person. Her sister is questioning if I am a right person ? I mean what is it to her sister? Is she marrying and going to live with her or me? My fiancé should have a mind of her own and tell her sister to stay out of it. I am ready to take my chances of breaking off the engagement if she has her sister questioning her if I am the right person. Know that I can find someone else who does not have questioning siblings . If I end up breaking up this will be her sisters fault if I tell her the reason that i refuse to be with someone who is questioning that if i am the right person and I showed nothing but respect for her complete family. Am I right?
I too think that you should call off this engagement. But not for any of the reasons you give.

You are very immature if you don't know why a sister would be having a heart to heart with her sister about a pending marriage. You sound very controlling and too immature to be getting married imo

Think about it....If you really feel this way, just end the engagement...it would be for the best.

 
Old 05-20-2015, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,647,244 times
Reputation: 53074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve wind far View Post
Well you don't know the whole story do you cant make a decision like that's. Have you been in person with my fiancé and me ? NO!!!!!!!!
OP, nobody responding knows the whole story, and nobody responding has been in person with your fiancée and you. Obviously.

Yet, you are perfectly accepting of the couple of responses that you've gotten that you happen to feel support your position. It's all the people who think your response is extreme or unwarranted who are getting the "Shut up! You don't know my LIFE!" treatment. Funny how the handful of posts that indicate that they are from people who are at least somewhat in your corner magically, apparently, DO know your whole story and therefore have increased insight.
 
Old 05-20-2015, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,318,233 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Your fiance is a grown woman that can make her own decisions/mistakes; I dont get why her family cant respect that and just be happy for you both.
People can't stand for others to be happy. If he doesn't get along with her sister I don't blame the OP for calling off the engagement. I wouldn't want to be around someone I don't get along with.
 
Old 05-20-2015, 01:36 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
44,378 posts, read 20,097,476 times
Reputation: 115353
OP, I've read every post in this thread, and not once did you write that you are in love with your fiancé. However, several times you mentioned calling off the engagement and finding someone else "who does not have questioning siblings."

If you truly loved her, you wouldn't be so quick to talk of dumping her and finding someone else. If you don't love her deeply, then you should not marry her.

.
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:52 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,870,500 times
Reputation: 5353
Dude, why the rage? The situation doesn't warrant all the anger you're showing on this thread. Frankly, I'm picking up something of an autism-spectrum vibe from you. This level of anger, peppering your posts with exclamation points, isn't normal. Is anger an issue with you, in general? Or is this the only time you've gotten mad?
 
Old 05-20-2015, 04:36 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,217,976 times
Reputation: 29088
If I were engaged, and my fiance said, "My brother asked me if I was sure about marrying you," my reaction would be, "Why would he ask that? Does he have a problem with me? Or does he think you don't know what you're doing?"

People don't just toss out questions like that unless they have some kind of reservation. My point is that unless something truly bad is going on, like abuse, it's not their place to express those reservations. They're not the ones marrying the person.

At the very least, the fiancee lacks any sense of diplomacy and common sense. She made the conversation between herself and her sister the OP's business when she (very stupidly) mentioned it to him. How on earth could she have possibly expected anything positive to come of that?

My sister and my last SO didn't like each other, at all. But they didn't know the half of their feelings about one another because I wasn't so naive and/or stupid as to throw gasoline on a lit match. It's on the fiancee to run interference between her family and the OP for the sake of keeping peace.

From this experience, the OP can take away two things:

1. His fiancee tells the business of their relationship to her sister.

2. His fiancee tells the business of her relationship with her sister to him.

That is someone who doesn't know when or how to keep her mouth shut, and instead will sow the seeds of conflict between him and her family, whether she means to or not. Hey, she already has.
 
Old 05-20-2015, 04:53 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,774,325 times
Reputation: 3176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve wind far View Post
No I don't need to grow up. The are you sure talks should have happened before she took my ring. Please read my replies!!!!
You are coming off as a little kid stomping his feet.
 
Old 05-20-2015, 04:57 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,399 posts, read 24,482,969 times
Reputation: 17502
It's easier to break an engagement than to get a divorce.

Have you ever hit your fiancé?
 
Old 05-20-2015, 05:53 PM
 
Location: The State Line
2,633 posts, read 4,057,395 times
Reputation: 3069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve wind far View Post
I am ready to call off my engagement to my fiancé. The problem is that she is extremely close with her sister. I have shown nothing but complete respect toward her whole family while I was dating my fiancé until we got engaged. When I got engaged to her she came up to me 2 weeks later and had a serious talk with me that after she accepted my marriage proposal, she spoke with her sister and her sister asked her if she is sure that she is marrying the right person. Her sister is questioning if I am a right person ? I mean what is it to her sister? Is she marrying and going to live with her or me? My fiancé should have a mind of her own and tell her sister to stay out of it. I am ready to take my chances of breaking off the engagement if she has her sister questioning her if I am the right person. Know that I can find someone else who does not have questioning siblings . If I end up breaking up this will be her sisters fault if I tell her the reason that i refuse to be with someone who is questioning that if i am the right person and I showed nothing but respect for her complete family. Am I right?
If you call off the engagement, her sister will be right: you aren't the right person. If you want to prove you're right, you would marry her and continue to love her and show her sister she has nothing to worry about.

I don't see anything wrong with sisters being close—some sisters are close; others are catty and steal each other's clothes and lovers. I would be more concerned if I saw real examples of her sister being meddlesome, as opposed to merely looking out for her.
 
Old 05-20-2015, 06:43 PM
 
Location: NNJ
15,071 posts, read 10,128,846 times
Reputation: 17276
Breaking the engagment under those cirumstances is an act of an individual not a married couple. Talk with your fiance.... come up with a single approach to the sister.... act on it as a couple. Believe me.... in married life there are a lot worse issues to deal with than an intrusive family member... you have to work as couple to solve problems.
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