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Love has many definitions and words that string along with it, that it becomes a really complex word. For me, love is unconditional and should come with trust, understanding, friendship, communication, etc. What is important is that both partners communicate what love means to them, along with the stringed words attached, so they can be on the same page. The way people throw around the "L" word so much, it loses its meaning, and therefore, loses some of its power. I would say that love is/is not enough because everyone has different meanings to what love is. For me, I want more. I want to see it, feel it, taste it, hear it, and speak it.
I agree with all the points, more heavily on number 2. That was my ex and I.
I kept telling myself, "love conquers all"...no. No it does not. Well, at least with my ex of 4 years, my first love. You can love a person so much, but if you're not compatible, it's just a roller coaster ride, a never ending break-up and make-up....exactly as described on number 2.
I fell in love with my ex and I remember, we didn't have our very first fight until 6 months into our relationship. That's when things started creeping in, how I started seeing that there are some aspects that we are simply not compatible with and it took a hit on us. Either he would end it or I would...then the whole break-up and make-up thing.
I loved him. I understood what it means to love someone. "Love is patient, love is kind..." but man, when those certain aspects in your relationship you are not compatible with hits the fan, it's just not worth-it anymore. That was that. It's an experience, I guess.
At that time, I thought my ex and I were perfect for each other (both athletic, family oriented, goal oriented, we kept pushing each other to be better, my weakness was his strength and vice versa...etc), it was just that one thing and I did ask myself all the freakin time, "is love enough"? After 4 years, I called it quits for the last time.
Fast forward to now, because of my past experience, it makes me more appreciative of my husband and value our special bond, connection and compatibility...all that good stuff. I thought I had it good with my ex (good with a bit of bad), but being with my husband, it's the best thing ever. When you're with the right person, it will not even cross your mind if love is enough. No, it's not always 100% perfect. We have our own issues as well, but it's just a matter of talking it out or letting the petty things go. It's not some mushy, gushy, lovey dovey, butterflies in your stomach moment. It's so cliche but so true, when you're with the right one, you just know. Cheesy moment! haha
I don't know your other thread or situation, but from personal previous experience, when you have to ask yourself that question, then it's not enough. You can give yourself a million excuses (like I did), but you questioning yourself, that's your better side telling you to get out already.
Hell, you can love a drug addict, an alcoholic, a child molester, someone who beats you.
Many people have known all the above. A girl who I date was molested by here step father. Her mother and the step fathers bio children are still with him because they love him. Wonderful thing this love is
I won't even stay with someone who is too far right or left politically, but I guess if I was truly in love with them I wouldn't care
It is what people think what love is. Most of it is collection of other kind of feelings. Fear of rejection and loneliness etc. It is not easy to leave for some people. They are possible too afraid of unknown future to take that big step. Also they love something under a cover what really does not exist.
They might never seen healthy love. So they would know what it could be at best.
The premise of the OP is quite correct. You could have a loving caring relationship with a person, but as a mate, it might be a terrible choice, as the person might be unable to be faithful and loving to one person. You could also have a situation where there is strong love, passion, lust, but long term, because of personality conflicts, different values, etc, a long term marriage would just lead to to many fights and conflicts.
If the question is that love with forge through any relationship and keep it going, then I fully agree love is not enough. Love is just one emotion/feeling humans have in being together. Love and compatibility are not the same, and over time incompatibilities may decay the relationship even though love exists. There can be more to life then one's love for another to make a person whole.
The divorce rate is high for a reason, and I cannot believe divorces occur solely because two people are no longer in love.
The premise of the OP is quite correct. You could have a loving caring relationship with a person, but as a mate, it might be a terrible choice, as the person might be unable to be faithful and loving to one person. You could also have a situation where there is strong love, passion, lust, but long term, because of personality conflicts, different values, etc, a long term marriage would just lead to to many fights and conflicts.
I agree 100% with this ^
There are songs about tainted love ..... there are many, many people that are so dysfunctional , they have no idea how to hold up their end of a relationship and will never change. I think some are born with it and some are a result of things that happened to them.
IMO , that is why it is so important people take the time to learn who the real person is one step at a time.
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