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The two things totally relate. Having been there and done that.
Substitute "25 year old" and "does nothing but smokes pot" with "14 year old" and "does nothing but plays video games or play on the computer".
- Both are lazy
- Both do nothing around the house to help
- Both get in the way of having sex or being close EVERYWHERE except the bedroom
- Both are unpredictable
I think they are very much the same
Yeah, too bad she won't just kick that pesky 14-year-old out. I'm sure he gets in the way of your sexy time.
The two things totally relate. Having been there and done that.
Substitute "25 year old" and "does nothing but smokes pot" with "14 year old" and "does nothing but plays video games or play on the computer".
- Both are lazy
- Both do nothing around the house to help
- Both get in the way of having sex or being close EVERYWHERE except the bedroom
- Both are unpredictable
I think they are very much the same
Really dude?
The fact that you talk like this makes me quite sure you're a basement dweller who doesn't get a chance with any women.. single mothers or not.
I have been dating a wonderful man for a year. The only problem (as I see it) with our relationship is that his 25 y.o. son still lives with him. Son is unemployed, does not appear to be putting much effort into finding a job and does not help his Dad around the house. Stays up late, smokes pot, is a recluse who spends most of his time in his room. We cannot be intimate anywhere but in the bedroom as we never know when his son may "emerge" or come home. Obviously my beau does not have a problem with this and when I brought up moving our relationship towards living together he did mention obstacles, one of them being "the boy". He did not say if they had talked or made a timeline for him to move out so I imagine that has not happened. I am on the fence as to whether I should continue this relationship or not.
Even if the guy is a "10" on all other counts, take my advice, "drop him like he's hot!". There is nothing worse than a "man-child" who does not leave the nest. The guy has other problems that contributed to "Junior's" bad behavior. You just have not seen them yet.
While I understand where a lot of the commenters are coming from, I think we need to take a step back here. OP, you're right to be annoyed by his sorry ass son, but unless it's really interfering with your relationship you might not need to worry so much about it. Him c-blocking you at his dad's house is understandably frustrating, but...just have sex in his bedroom or at your house.
Long-term he's going to have to light a fire under junior's ass and get him out of the house. Time flies and they're probably in some denial about where they are. They're both getting older, and his son is letting some good years go by just sitting around his room smoking pot and playing video games. As sad as it is at 25, seeing someone struggling to be an "adult" is even sadder at 30.
But for now, and I say this with respect, mind your own business. Just decide how much longer you want to see this man and once it gets to a point where it's crap or get off the pot, let him know the deal and let him make a decision. I would advise against moving in together while dating (playing house), and if you want a whole other set of problems, try living with a guy who's trying to take care of an adult son.
When we had our discussion about moving forward in our relationship he said he wants to take things slow. I did tell him that I would not be comfortable living there while his son was there nor did I think the son would be crazy about the situation either. Right now we see each other on the weekends and take turns staying at each other's places. I am, of course, much more comfortable at my apt. than his house and I am sure he feels the same about staying at his place. I also said that I did not want to have an indefinite period of just seeing each other on the weeknd, been there, done that.
I am torn as with the exception of this situation he is a great match for me in so many ways. At 58, however, I do not want to spend a lot of time waiting to see what will happen.
He told you he wants to take it slow. That does not sound like what you want. The two of you are not on the same page. Sorry.
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I have been dating a wonderful man for a year. The only problem (as I see it) with our relationship is that his 25 y.o. son still lives with him. Son is unemployed, does not appear to be putting much effort into finding a job and does not help his Dad around the house. Stays up late, smokes pot, is a recluse who spends most of his time in his room. We cannot be intimate anywhere but in the bedroom as we never know when his son may "emerge" or come home. Obviously my beau does not have a problem with this and when I brought up moving our relationship towards living together he did mention obstacles, one of them being "the boy". He did not say if they had talked or made a timeline for him to move out so I imagine that has not happened. I am on the fence as to whether I should continue this relationship or not.
That's a bad sign. Drugs and reclusive behavior combined. One or the other isn't so bad. The combination of the two is BAD.
Layne Staley
August 22th 1967 - April 5th 2002............found dead April 19th
How long has the son been at home? If he moved home after losing a job 2 months ago and is taking time off, I get it. If he's been lazy since the day he was born and has zero motivation, that's an issue.
At your age you should embrace this relationship. My dad was always saying how hard it is to meet people near 60. Talk to him before making a rash conclusion. Maybe the guy is oblivious to it.
As for the people demonizing the kid for smoking weed, come on. Marijuana is an herb from the earth. I personally don't smoke, but to just assume he's a deadbeat because he smokes is unfair. It seems like he has a lot of things to work on. I was exactly like him at 22, and now I have a good job and support a fsmily of 4 on my own. I personally know 2 ivy league grads who smoke weed on a daily basis. It doesn't hinder them at all.
Last edited by tonybarnaby; 05-27-2015 at 09:20 PM..
That's a bad sign. Drugs and reclusive behavior combined. One or the other isn't so bad. The combination of the two is BAD.
Layne Staley
August 22th 1967 - April 5th 2002............found dead April 19th
Heroin and cocaine addict = 25 year old lazy pot head? Come on, you're better than that I hope.
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