Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You can lose 30 lbs. in 3 months. You may not have a choice about when you start dating. What determines when you start dating is the men around you, who are either attracted to you or not. As you've discovered so far in life, you can't start dating until someone's willing to date you. I still think grad school could work out for you, dating-wise, too. You have all summer to lose some weight. Once you start making progress in that regard, the progress will serve as its own encouragement to keep at it. With regular workouts, it's easier than you think.
Yep! I lost about 30 pounds in three months just watching what I eat and doing an 18-minute Jillian Michaels DVD five or six times a week. I was 150 and am now 117 and that's at almost 41 years old and after having seven babies. It can be done.
Yep! I lost about 30 pounds in three months just watching what I eat and doing an 18-minute Jillian Michaels DVD five or six times a week. I was 150 and am now 117 and that's at almost 41 years old and after having seven babies. It can be done.
My church teaches waiting on God to send a man, but I am losing hope in God too, and confused about what my role is in this waiting on men from the sky.
You can do yourself a favor and stop listening to what your church says... their primary focus is on making themselves money, not what's good for you.
You look fine, although a little older than 34 (or did I misread that) Go out and have sex... I don't see why you should have a problem getting dates. Keeping them, that's on you
I"m wondering if it's possible for me to become a catch as a 34 year old woman with no long term relationship experience? I have just graduated from college and plan to attend grad school soon, and finishing within 2 years while I work. I have always pursued men and that never worked out. At this point in life is it worth it to go to bars and festivals with the hopes that I could meet someone to date? I'm smart, pretty, and funny. I get so lonely and have wanted to move far away, hoping it's the town, but I need to put in the work if I want to meet someone. I forgot to say I'm straight. I've tried tinder, pof, okcupid, etc and I can't connect with men online, plus the amount of creepy and disgusting emails I receive makes me lose hope in decency among men. I'm wanting to start over with a positive but realistic attitude towards dating.
Get rid of that mindset! Who the hell said you weren't a catch to begin with?? You're young, and educated, so don't focus on becoming what you already are. Now go...
Willistonite, I have tried online dating, but found it hard to connect or communicate in any way. It's not a natural way to meet. I think online dating is great for some people, just not me.
34-year-olds aren't competing with 21-year-olds, that's ridiculous.
OP, you came here for advice. Are you ready for it? You asked for it. Here it comes, ready or not.
Lose 30 lbs. Work out at the gym to build lean muscle mass; it will accelerate weight loss, and will help you trim up. (Without building lean muscle mass, you'll turn into a bowl of jello when you lose weight.) Then go shopping, and buy some nice, tailored clothes that will show your new figure. (I didn't say "revealing" clothes, I said "tailored".) Shop smart; spend more to buy high-end, well-made tasteful items on sale, instead of a lot of cheap junk.
You have a youthful face; the weight loss will make you look younger than your age; you'll look like you're in your 20's, instead of mid-30's, FWIW. (This can be a double-edged sword; do you really want to be dating guys in their 20's? A little makeup can add some sophistication, if you want guys closer to your age.)
God helps those who help themselves.
^^^this^^^
I haven't seen your photo/photos you must have shared with Ruth4truth... but I trust this advice... if you are overweight, the physical solution is simple... lose the weight through exercise and diet changes. Do this in combination with my prior more mentally-focused recommendation and things will turn around super quickly. Yes, 3 months is doable... that's only 12 weeks, that's nothing!
In your original post you mentioned doing tinder, match.com etc... forget those things, those are for entertainment purposes only and attract unbalanced/off individuals. You will get matched up with losers using those dating sites and that won't lead to anything positive. Go out and have fun and with the right outlook you will figure out you are surrounded by a world full of people, many of whom are single and you can/should interact with when the opportunities arise.
One last thing, someone said just go out and have sex... I would take that advice with a grain of salt... if you settle (which you may with low self-esteem), you may end up with a loser who has an STD... just don't be stupid please. I know of two women in my life who got blind-sided by STD's through carelessness with men that slept around and didn't warn them they were carriers for anything (because they just wanted [bleep]). Because these women weren't cautious and didn't get to know these men before deciding to get intimate, they now now have life-long repercussions.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-02-2015 at 10:08 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate term.
I'm actually happy with the way I look, my clothes, makeup and body. I really wanted advice for what I can do to improve my game, maybe I didn't make that clear. I posted my photo so you could see that I am not a troll. Maybe looks are my problem, but I am not obsessed with looks. It's taken me many years, this seems to be a girl thing, to appreciate myself and how I look. I'm wanting to date, with the hopes of meeting someone special. I admitted that I haven't had much luck and am looking for ways to improve this. Stay off OLD, no bars, got it. Honestly I had a very stressful day, and would like to have some kind of social outlet. I am dying from lack of attention and affection. This is hard to be honest about, but that's what's up with me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
