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In Spain it is very common. In fact it's very unusual not to live together before getting married, at least in the cities. Traditional Catholic morals hardly carry any weight in modern Spain.
Same with Italy. I have family over there, we actually just attended a wedding in Rome a few years ago. Bride and groom lived together, and had been for a bit. His family was from a rural area and her family was very cosmopolitain.
And the wedding was both the most extravagant and most laid back I have ever been to. It was great.
Same with Italy. I have family over there, we actually just attended a wedding in Rome a few years ago. Bride and groom lived together, and had been for a bit. His family was from a rural area and her family was very cosmopolitain.
And the wedding was both the most extravagant and most laid back I have ever been to. It was great.
From one Ohio person to another...
... my impression is that European Christianity is more cultural and less spiritual than what we find in the US. European nations are more likely to observe Christian holidays as national holidays. In most of Europe, Easter is a national holiday. And there are no controversies about "the meaning of Christmas". People follow Christian rituals and Christian idiom for decoration, dining, architecture and the arts, schedules and so forth. Yet mainstream Europeans would be quite flustered and bemused if asked whether they "accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior". It's just not a subject of pressing concern, even amongst most persons who self-define as professing Christians. And many people who are atheists or agnostics still follow Christian cultural tradition out of respect for 1700 years of the equivalence-relation, "Europe = Christendom". In America it is exactly the reverse. We have incessant controversial over public display of Christian symbols, yet so many people pray before every meal - whether at home or in restaurants. And which other Western nation entertains a serious public debate that its decline from greatness (real or perceived) is because a sinful people abandoned their covenant with the lord?
The implication for dating and relationships is more casual, less strained relations between the sexes. There is both the context of a stronger shared tradition, and less moralism about how one ought to behave.
Of course. And Europe has, shall we say, a fractious and rather unsavory history with its minorities. But the point is, that there is a prevailing culture, or undercurrent of culture, that is simultaneously informed by religion, but not much concerned with the experiential practice of religion. The situation is starkly different in the US.
In Europe: the same kind of fiat money that can get you laid is called Euros.
If you keep choosing women who expect that, you're making the wrong choices. One tends to suspect that guys who have this complaint are guys who are attracted to women with a high-maintenance look. Stop shooting yourself in the foot.
My impression is that the real divide is city vs. town/village, rather than monolithic America vs. monolithic Europe. That said, sweeping generalization alert!...
1. It seems to me that "social skills" in America concern the gumption to approach, the diplomacy of handling several potential dates simultaneously, and the careful molding of image to fit what is perceived to be desired. In Europe, "social skills" are more about networking between acquaintances who introduce each other, and overcoming potential conflicts of interest such as dating in the workplace (something that generally carries a pejorative connotation in America, but which is far more favorably regarded in most of Europe).
2. Americans are eager to participate in clubs, hobbies and other venues where they could conceivably meet potential dates. Europeans I think are more casual about this, and less likely to enter into organized activities.
3. Southern and Eastern Europe are more tolerant of what might be called sexism and chauvinism.
4. Europeans in general are more circumspect about one-night-stands and casual "hookups" (especially if alcohol is involved), but on the other hand are more tolerant of monogamous premarital sex. Thus they are simultaneously more reserved and less sanctimonious than Americans. Which brings me to my main point…
5. In America we're rife with extremes. We have the most conservative and the most debauched, the most profligate and the most parsimonious, the fittest and the flabbiest. We are a country of extremes – of extreme excellence, brilliance and achievement, but also of extreme backwardness, idiocy and torpid failure. In Europe things cleave more towards the median.
Good post.
As someone who grew up outside of the US and who has European parents, I agree that the US is a land of extremes. As in other areas of life, Americans tend to approach sex and sexuality in binary, either/or terms. Surely there is ample middle ground in a great, expansive, diverse country like the United States?
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 06-20-2015 at 01:14 PM..
- Good for women.
- Okay for good-looking men.
- Not so great for average to below average looking men.
Sometimes it's like waking up and you think you have some kind of deformity, then you start looking and checking yourself, then you realize that you aren't deformed, you're just ugly. Then I get dressed and start my day.
In Europe: the same kind of fiat money that can get you laid is called Euros.
I agree with this in some cases, but looks matter far more from what I've seen. So a guy could be good-looking with no money and do better with women than a guy with a lot of money and average to below average looks.
Also, more women will genuinely like the good-looking guy.
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