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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Have you all seen the trailer for this latest Judd Apatow film? I realize we shouldn't take it seriously & that it's a raunchy comedy, but it kind of makes me sad in retrospect. I'm 26 (27 next month) & married, & I see a lot of my single girlfriends behaving like the main character, cynical, filling life with one-night stands.... but when they express their 'want' for a relationship, they get defensive & tell me I'm "old school, unrealistic, etc"
Is it just me overanalyzing? When does the "nice guy being nice" become suspicious? this is just sad to me....
I don't think it changes anything much or makes people less commitment minded. People enter relationships when they see fit. Amy Schumer is known for being more like one of the guys, and I find her so adorable too. I actually like that she's brash and doesn't hide behind her sexuality and is really public with it. Dating has just become so complicated now, that many people just date around and hook up.
How do you think people feel when they feel as if they have met a good person, to only find out that they're dating multiple people at once? The special feeling that they had for the person becomes very diluted. Even on this forum it's shoved down our throats to date multiple people at once. I think it's baloney, but what do you do when everyone else is doing similar?
No need for pity when it's not needed. The movie shouldn't change how anyone see's the world or how they feel about dating.
It's great you are married and happy but there is no reason to feel bad for those who aren't. As stated numerous times, dating has become complicated and finding the person that is the right fit for you is not something you come across everyday. The whole idea of romance in movies is can't be farther from the truth. You may see it as cynical thinking but it's a more realistic approach. Going into dating thinking you're going to meet the one, is not a healthy mindset to have.
Everyone has their breaking point. I used to get excited about the idea of dating but not anymore. I am sure it's fantastic when you come across someone you connect with but it's rare. I haven't like anyone in almost three years and honestly I don't expect to in the future. It's really not that serious. The girl in the movie seems like a cool person, although I haven't seen any of her material before. I'm not into casual sex myself but I don't condemn those who are.
I don't think it changes anything much or makes people less commitment minded. People enter relationships when they see fit. Amy Schumer is known for being more like one of the guys, and I find her so adorable too. I actually like that she's brash and doesn't hide behind her sexuality and is really public with it. Dating has just become so complicated now, that many people just date around and hook up.
How do you think people feel when they feel as if they have met a good person, to only find out that they're dating multiple people at once? The special feeling that they had for the person becomes very diluted. Even on this forum it's shoved down our throats to date multiple people at once. I think it's baloney, but what do you do when everyone else is doing similar?
I really like her and think she's funny. I like how she's honest about her sexuality, too, but one thing that does bother me is that she always seems to self-deprecate herself about it. Like it's still not okay for a woman to like and have sex, and that she's "****-shaming" (hate that term) herself. I know it's comedy, but still. And I love her show, but it does make me sad sometimes. Skits often based on how everyone's treating everyone like ****.
I am going to watch the movie, though.
EDIT: Dating around and having a lot of sex is not what bothers me, by the way. I was single once, lol. It's just the cynical, antagonistic, disrespectful sides of it. It's like full-blown war has been declared between the sexes.
Last edited by SeaOfGrass; 06-16-2015 at 04:20 PM..
Looks like it will be a funny movie. I think we all go through stages like this in our 20's some in their 30's and some never grow out of it and that is fine I will not judge, but I do find some of it sad...For me because it brings back memories of how I was kind of sluttish back in my 20's having a good time but underneath it all I was looking for the "one'" and thought I would find him during a one night stand. Glad that was just a phase though...can't wait to see the movie though.
Looks like it will be a funny movie. I think we all go through stages like this in our 20's some in their 30's and some never grow out of it and that is fine I will not judge, but I do find some of it sad...For me because it brings back memories of how I was kind of sluttish back in my 20's having a good time but underneath it all I was looking for the "one'" and thought I would find him during a one night stand. Glad that was just a phase though...can't wait to see the movie though.
See, that's what I don't like about it. The part at the end of the trailer when he's actually calling her after they've already had sex, and the women are shocked and confused by it. It's like they're trying to act like they only want sex with no strings attached, but in reality they want the guy to call. Like they think that's just the way it is now and they have to go along with it. I know for a fact that doesn't apply to every woman, but they're making jokes based on that scenario. I myself was steadfastly against ever being in another relationship when I was in my 20s, and I was having my fun, but I did still miss having the connection with someone.
Try not to worry about your girlfriends. You can only control your own behavior. They control theirs. You sound like a sweet devoted woman and your husband is probably glad he found you and is not into that game playing that comes with dating. I had a friend who went with a man until she slept with him. Then she dropped him. I didn't really like the idea of her using men the way I was used. I felt hypocritical being her friend and hearing her brag at her latest conquest and seem to get a kick when guys were still calling her and seemed heartbroken. I concluded she was pretty cold-hearted and not the type of person I wanted to associate with. I dropped her.
Have you all seen the trailer for this latest Judd Apatow film? I realize we shouldn't take it seriously & that it's a raunchy comedy, but it kind of makes me sad in retrospect. I'm 26 (27 next month) & married, & I see a lot of my single girlfriends behaving like the main character, cynical, filling life with one-night stands.... but when they express their 'want' for a relationship, they get defensive & tell me I'm "old school, unrealistic, etc"
Thoughts?
Yeah, uh, considering one of my side gigs is as a trailer checker, you're darn right I see that trailer a lot. Thankfully--depending on which side you are looking from--those women don't get taken any more seriously than Amy Schumer herself when she declared herself a proud size 6.
You can be traditional and it works. It's worked for many a century before your girlfriends were a gleam in their parent's eyes. Your chickfriends should be ticked. They thought that "you go girl" was going to make all their problems regarding being unlikable just go away. It didn't. The guys they desire found women that are likable. That's that.
Oh, I am also of the belief that "you are the company you keep", so I'd probably dispose of your cynical friends in short order if I was you. No need to have that dead weight dragging you down and you know it.
Some thoughts. I didn't see the trailer yet. But... some of the posts have me thinking. From where comes this wisdom that the subject is autobiographical? Why are we assuming it is an accurate portrayal of Amy Schumer's real love life? Why does it even matter? What does this mean "dating has become complicated". How and why?
I'm pretty sure life as a Millennial is a lot like life as an X'er or Boomer. There are overarching paradigms of behavior but no matter how you roll you can always find several thousand other people in the population who get you. If you look. There are Millennial's holding out for marriage before they have sex. There are Millennial's that are wantonly promiscuous and everything in between.
One constant that underlays all the myriad facets of American sexuality is the Puritan heritage of the Founders. The Free Spirited up for anything girls do have frequent bouts of angst and do their own **** shaming when it isn't being done for them. Sometimes I wonder if they are having any fun at all. There is nothing worse than taking a woman home and she is game and everything but she has to get hammered before anything can happen and afterwards she gets all teary and repentant. Am I glad to be beyond all that.
I don't have answers but I know cop-out when I hear it. Women (and maybe men) just don't want to make a choice. They don't need to. There was a time when a woman needed to make a choice otherwise she would starve. Literally starve. If she didn't or couldn't then parents were very well empowered to make a choice for her. We've taken parents out of the hook-up equation and some of us are the worse off for that. A lot of you here say you never met The One until 30+ or even 40+. I don't know... I'm 55+ and so is my SO and so are her friends. They still haven't met The One. Some people literally never do.
I think this is because there is no such thing as The One. There are many One's. It should be possible to find happiness with a variety of people. It is a huge conceit to imagine that you are so special and unique that there is just one person out there that you click with. Come on. Obviously everyone won't float your boat but... no one? That just doesn't make sense. And we shouldn't accept peoples saying it does. I don't. I call them on it when they try to run that past me. "Oh I've never been in love... I've never met The One". "BS! Of course you have, several times in your adult life". "Oh you horrible person, get away from me!". I'll go watch that trailer now. Just had to get this off my chest.
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this is just sad to me....
