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Couple of questions about what to do with old ex's. Currently dating someone for about 9 months and to I have eliminated all texts, Facebook friends, Facebook messages, pictures and emails from anyone that I was involved with before we met. My girlfriend has not communicated with her last significant relationship in 5 months, but they are still Facebook friends and she has kept all correspondence with him. Is it out of line for me to ask her to clean her side of the street as well? Things are turning serious and it looks like we are going to make this a long term relationship plus flirting with the idea of getting married.
Second question, I accidentally stumbled across a trove of nude photos that my current GF sent to the last guy she dated. They were on a shared server that she used with her last BF. So all of the photos were in his computer. I asked her about it and she said that it was a long distance relationship, they lived 200 miles away from each other and occasionally would send something to keep the fire lit. Thought it was pretty creepy that this guy kept pictures from almost three years ago. But, she emailed him, asked him to delete them and when I checked back 15 minutes later all pictures of my girlfriend were off his side of the server except for 4 innocent pictures of them out on a date. He claims he "forgot" that the nude pictures were there. We immediately shut down the shared account and have seemed to move past this.
I'm fairly new to the world of dating in middle age. How common is it for people to swap nude pictures for their partners?
Second question, I accidentally stumbled across a trove of nude photos that my current GF sent to the last guy she dated. They were on a shared server that she used with her last BF.
How do you accidentally stumble across nude photos of GF and her ex, curious?
Asking her to unfriend an Ex on Facebook etc would probably make you appear either very controlling or very insecure. Also, in the unlikely case that she does still carry a torch for the Ex, it would do absolutely nothing to extinguish it. I'd suggest just continuing your relationship and trust her to handle her Ex's appropriately.
I agree about the pics being trashy. And once sent, they're out there forever.
Asking her to unfriend an Ex on Facebook etc would probably make you appear either very controlling or very insecure. Also, in the unlikely case that she does still carry a torch for the Ex, it would do absolutely nothing to extinguish it. I'd suggest just continuing your relationship and trust her to handle her Ex's appropriately.
I agree about the pics being trashy. And once sent, they're out there forever.
Yeah, I wouldn't be thrilled if a guy started telling me who I could and couldn't be in communication with. Seems like a red flag.
Id say that your best move would be to just ignore it. If she continues communicating with an ex or sends photos to other guys, then you probably have something to worry about. Other than that, you dont want to make yourself appear insecure and jealous. If its not something you can live with, then you two need to sit down and agree on boundaries that you are both comfortable with.
Why do you feel like she needs to clean the slate as far as FB goes? Are you concerned?
I was just asking a general question. I'm not concerned at all about her. Fairly new to dating after being married for over 20 years. Asked a friend of mine about this and they told me that your past is your past, you are building a future together. You should clean up your computer out of respect for them so that you are starting with a clean slate. I told my GF that I scrubbed my computer, but did not ask her to do anything. She then mentioned her friends had told her last year before we met to unfriend her ex from Facebook and get rid of any communications so that she can get a clean break from this guy.
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