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For me attraction is stricly physical. The only way that a woman becomes more or less attractive in my eyes is if her physical appearance changes either for better or worse. No other factors afect attractiveness in my eyes. No attractiveness would make it impossible for a seroius relationship because the chemistry would be hindered
I am mostly the opposite of this. I have found that the relative attractiveness of a woman to me increases the more I am attracted to non physical attributes about her person/personality. Thats not to say physical attractiveness is not set in stone. Just that my level of want and desire for a woman is influenced by things more than just her straight physical appearance.
The best way I can put it is that I find attractiveness to be closely linked to chemistry. At least for me.
Discourse in this thread can sound very simplistic in some comments, so it's worth to make a critical observation.
The major issue that people have today is the expectation of one or more of the following things:
1. Lack of, or diminished sexual attraction towards other people, except the person you date/are in relationship with
2. Sexual attraction towards the person you're in relationship with should be very high
3. #1 and #2 should continue throughout the whole lifetime, with sexual attraction towards your spouse being higher than towards anyone else.
Now, combine this with the attitudes, reasoning and behavior that people have today and you'll see why it is a recipe for dissatisfaction, it's like an invitation for dishonesty and lies for so many people. In other words, people are served with conflicting messages and they are in a constant conflict as well.
To each their own. However, I personally would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with a woman that didn't 100% turn me on. Again, been there, done that. What's interesting is that when I was younger & less sure of what I wanted, I did "settle". Now that I'm older & presumably should be more interested in settling down, I am actually much pickier & non-compromising when it comes to these things. Of course, I'm not into LTR's anymore, which helps. I'm also a lot happier than when I was younger
I think that's easier to say if you often find yourself 100% turned on by the people you date. For me, even being turned on 75% would be pretty amazing.
Some people get hotter once you get to know them. A big belly suddenly doesn't seem so big, the ugly eyes are suddenly cute and the big wart on the chin becomes interesting
I have had two long relationships with guys I wasn't physically attracted to for the first half year of hanging out. Once I got to know them and really liked their personality, I fell in love and didn't care anymore, they became super hot to me.
I want to clear something up regarding my previous post. I said that to me attractinveness is striclty physical because that is what looks do for me. Now that being said I want to point out that to me Attractiveness is one thing and Desirability is another one. I will never find a woman more attractive because I get to know her better. Only if her physical appearance improves will I find her more attractive however I can find her more desirable over time because I get to know her better and we click but not more attractive. I know women that I find very attractive but not desirable. To me attraction is only physical, when referring to personality and chemistry that is when desirability comes into play. Two very different things. To me attractivness can exist without desirability but desirability cannot exist without attractiveness. That is how I function.
I don't have a preferred physical type. I have a mental/emotional type. The rest isn't as important as the brain power & heart power, as I call it. If there's a good mental/emotional/cultural connection, the rest will fall into place.
It's an interesting question for me because I don't know that I have a "physical type" so to speak. I know what I don't like physically, but beyond that, I am pretty open when it comes to looks so long as the personality and chemistry work for me. Aside from those physical "dislikes" it's more like the personalty of that person makes or breaks if they "look good" to me physically.
I gotta tell you, I have dated people I wasn't crazy about the way they looked, who had wonderful personalities...they were funny and nice, laughed at my silly jokes and were such fun to be around. Then, when the lights went down, and the covers went down, eeeeeewwwwwww!
And there is something to be said for looking into a pair of dreamy eyes and seeing them looking dreamily back into yours as if you are the most fetching thing they have ever seen!
(Did I just now say "fetching"? Oh no! I am really showing my age! I don't think I have ever used that word in my life until now)
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