Here's the scoop everyone! I just got back late Sunday night, so didn't have a chance to get on here and post an update. I'm feeling very sad and empty and am not sure why. I'll start from the beginning.
He arrived Wednesday, late afternoon. The front desk called me to say that he was there and can they send him up. I said, "Yes." Didn't know that they gave him a room key. He came walking in and I said, "Oh, they gave you a room key?" He said, "Yeah, didn't they call you?" I said, "Yes, but I didn't know they gave you a key." He was walking towards me and I was walking backwards thinking that he's going to hug me. He didn't. I almost fell over and he had to balance me. Felt like an ass. We talked for awhile, but then I had to leave for the dinner with my co-workers. I went up to him and kissed him before I left as he was laying on the bed. He told me to slow down as supposedly I was kissing too fast. He kisses okay. Not great, but not totally bad either. He's a slow mover. Doesn't like to rush things. I came back at around 9 p.m. and we laid in bed cuddling and kissing. He was rock hard. Told me that because he had no sleep that he didn't want to make love. I was fine with that because I didn't want to do it the first night either. He was caressing me and we were kissing. It was so nice and romantic. I had to keep telling him to stop feeling me up because I had to get to sleep.
On Thursday night, we went to the party in the hotel bar for the football game that one of my clients was hosting. Had a great time there. Then, we got back to the room and it just happened naturally. All of this nonsense I had built up in my head about how sex was going to happen totally vanished. I was pretty drunk though. We kissed for a long time and then, you know.....Not sure what to think on that either. It was awkward. He said, "Don't worry, we'll get it.....just have some patience." He really does not like to do the wham, bam, thank you ma'am type of sex. I knew he would be like that, but I'm not used to the slow hand type of man. I thought that he didn't get off, but found out the next day that he came inside of me!!!! I said, "WHATTTTT????? Why? I'm still fertile." I was totally shocked and he seemed to act as if it was just fine and dandy. He almost acted as if he would be happy if I were pregnant.
Friday night, we went to this free concert with a couple of different bands. He was holding my hand, putting his arm around me, kissing me, and acting like we were a couple. Didn't do anything but cuddle and kiss on Friday night when we got back to the room. Saturday morning, I woke up and he was very friendly with the cuddling and caressing. We went to a museum on Saturday afternoon. Then, I had to go to my company reception, dinner, and party. I left at about 9 p.m. When I got back, we went to a bar that had three different bands playing. A few times he said, "When you come out in December, I'll take you to a bar that's almost identical to this place." He mentioned something else that he's going to show me "when you come out to see me in December." I thought to myself, "Oh, he still wants me to come out there?" Attempted to give him a blow job that night, but was so wasted that I couldn't do a good job. I don't think he liked it. I was dry mouthed. Also, my period had started that morning and it wasn't due for a few days.
A few things that pissed me off.....he now says that I'm too positive. At our last meeting in July, I was too negative. He is a know it all and makes you feel as if you're stupid. He told me that I say "I know" in a bitchy manner when he's telling me something that I already know. I said, "You say things to people as if they are so stupid." He said that a chick he dated not too long ago would say, "I'm not stupid you know!" He said, "It must be a psychological condition." WTF? I didn't say anything because I just didn't want to tell him that HE may want to take a look at himself.
So, he drove all the way back to the airport from the city we were in. Pulled up in front of his departure and I got out of the car while he got his luggage. We kissed goodbye and hugged. He mouthed the words, "Thank you" as he walked away. I felt this heavy feeling in my chest and tummy as I drove away. Don't know how to describe it. I feel torn - I like him but there are things that **** me off about him.
Okay, so he was very generous with things. I'm guessing it was because he wanted to act like we are dating??? Not sure if it was that or just because I had put him up in a fancy hotel. Yet, he knew that my work paid for it all. He paid for my entrance to the museum, the cover charge for the bands that we saw on Sat. night, beers for me at the free concert on Friday night, offered to pay for my gas on the way home, but I told him I can put that on my corporate card, and he bought me a box of wine. He was always asking if I needed anything when he was out and about somewhere. Was always planning what we were going to do which was nice since I was working during the day and couldn't think about it. I really liked how he took control as to what we were going to do and didn't want to just be a couch potato and lay around when I got done for the day.
It was not 15 minutes that we had left each other and he texted me to say he was through security and waiting at his gate. He texted me when he got home and told me that he arrived safely.
I've talked to a female friend and a male friend about this. They have both said that I am being too negative and don't understand why I'm feeling sad. Because of this, I just texted him a few minutes ago and told him how much fun I had with him and that I appreciate the effort he put in to everything. He really did plan what we would do and I was happy about that because I didn't have to think. He knew that I was enveloped in my work meeting. He made it easier to deal with.
Argghhhhhh, I don't know what my problem is or if I have a problem. What do you all think?
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I don't Know
