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We decided to play Scrabble, he said he didn't want to play because I 'take too long' during my turn. I agreed that I would go fast (I guess that would be 3-4 minutes per turn). Well, it went good until the end when I could not find something, so I said I would pass. He said that meant I had to turn in all my tiles and pick all new ones. I didn't want to do that because I had good tiles! So I tried to find a two letter word I could make, and still couldn't find one. He said that he couldn't play anymore because I had just taken 8 minutes.
Here's the thing, I have Lyme disease and it's really hard sometimes to......well, THINK. But he says I'm just using that as an excuse, and that I purposely took a long time just to irritate him. Is that not totally demented? Why would I do that? I was going as fast as I could! If anything I was stressing out trying to make sure I went fast enough. My conclusion is that he just doesn't have the patience to play with a slow person....but he states it's because we 'play differently'. Bullsh*t! He's rude! If I'm wrong, please tell me why. I guess I never should have said I would play quickly when I'm not capable, but you would think your own husband would be a little understanding about it. It's pretty hurtful having an illness when your own husband seems irritated by it rather than caring.
I think you should find another game to play together. Maybe its just me, but 8 minutes to make a play seems like a very long time. I'm not sure many people would like sitting for 8 minutes waiting for someone to make a play.
My conclusion is that he just doesn't have the patience to play with a slow person....but he states it's because we 'play differently'. Bullsh*t! He's rude!
You're insulting him also by calling him impatient, which is rude.
You DO play differently. I agree that 8 minutes to make a Scrabble play is asking a lot lol. How could you not make a play if you had such good tiles you didn't want to give up?
Just let him get up and do something around the house while you decide your tiles, or pick a different game that doesn't require you to think so much, since you know that is a problem for you.
I did not take 8 minutes each turn....my last turn was 8 minutes (according to him), and that's how the game is toward the end, when space is running out and everyone crowds the tiles on one side of the board. The other turns were like 2-5 minutes, which he took that long as well.
I could care less if we ever play Scrabble again....that's not really the point. I just think that if you love someone you don't make them feel bad for taking too long (at the end of the game when it gets more difficult)....that's all. We've already agreed that we cannot play Scrabble.
I just think that if you love someone you don't make them feel bad for taking too long (at the end of the game when it gets more difficult)....that's all.
You can't set someone up like that.
You can't say, "If you loved me, then ..." because he could argue that he already proved he loves you by playing Scrabble with you when he didn't even want to in the first place. He had already passed one test before embarking on this night of "fun." And people who claim to love their spouses aren't supposed to test them like that.
Neither one of you is going about this the right way. It sounds like you need to have a sit-down about your illness and honesty and respect.
You can't say, "If you loved me, then ..." because he could argue that he already proved he loves you by playing Scrabble with you when he didn't even want to in the first place. He had already passed one test before embarking on this night of "fun." And people who claim to love their spouses aren't supposed to test them like that.
Neither one of you is going about this the right way. It sounds like you need to have a sit-down about your illness and honesty and respect.
I don't feel I set anyone up....at least not intentionally. I really wanted to play, and he was the one who initially suggested it. I played by his rules the entire game, until the end when I took too long on my last turn. This was no test to see if he loves me....what are you talking about? We've discussed my illness, he basically wants nothing to do with it and I try not to mention it to him because what's the point? He doesn't want to hear it. Nothing to talk about there.
Yes, your husband is rude. Not because of the Scrabble game necessarily but because he wants nothing to do with your disease! Your disease is part of you and how you function now. You can't just ignore it. He sounds like an insensitive jerk. I think you both could benefit from counseling.
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