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I joined a dating site and almost every message is hello or some variation. I'm so tired of it. How do they expect to start a conversation that way? I feel like I'm surrounded by the socially inept. I want to meet someone but the thought of it carrying on like this just depresses me. Hardly anyone makes a real effort. A few of them make some comment about my profile and whatnot but it's always something ordinary, like they're not even trying. Whatever happened to the art of conversation?
When I meet up with friends that I've known for 20+ years... I still greet them with "Hello, how are you?" or some variant of it. It shouldn't be depressing.. just being polite. Not sure what else anyone can expect....
Ever heard of copy & paste? Because female response rates on dating sites are so low, men will just spend as little time as possible sending out a ton of messages. This is one good thing about Tinder (there are many not so good things). Just swipe to everything, unmatch from the non-attractive ones, and chat with the pretty ones. It is time efficient.
Men are not going to write out a long thought out personal email only for you to take one look at them for a split second and push the delete button without ever responding.
The "hello" message is a feeler to see if you are interested in chatting by if you reply or not.
i get what you are saying. they could say something like "hi, how are you? i see you like to go kayaking. i've never been. where do you like to go?" something simple, an introduction that can get a conversation started. i don't respond to anyone who starts out a message with only "hello" or "hi, how are you". unless he is really cute. kidding!! i'm kidding!!!
but seriously, it doesn't have to be long and drawn out. but it is nice to see that they actually took time to read your profile and will pick something to comment on to get things started.
i get what you are saying. they could say something like "hi, how are you? i see you like to go kayaking. i've never been. where do you like to go?" something simple, an introduction that can get a conversation started. i don't respond to anyone who starts out a message with only "hello" or "hi, how are you". unless he is really cute. kidding!! i'm kidding!!!
but seriously, it doesn't have to be long and drawn out. but it is nice to see that they actually took time to read your profile and will pick something to comment on to get things started.
Completely understand what the OP is saying. She's not asking for an essay on some economic crisis, nor is she meeting up with friends that she's known for years, she's asking for more than '"hi" from some guy who claims to have interest in her on a website where he gets information about her. Do you seriously want 15 messages back and forth of "hi" "hi" "hi" "hi" "hi". Are you clicking on her profile because you liked what she had to say or just how she looked. (Trust me, we already know the answer.)
If you just read information about someone, then take something from that and ask about it. Show that you put some effort in to it. An example above was great. Kayaking in the profile, "I see you go kayaking..."
My site has their communications set up in sort of an email style.
You can enter something in the subject line, then keep typing in the body of the message.
If I'm sending the first message, I would ALWAYS enter something different in each subject line such as:
Happy Friday; Go Cardinals; or, Bike weather!
If someone sends me a message that just says "hey" or "hi", I won't even open it.
Lighten up Marge, If you want more , put in your first line or two of your profile something like - If you want my attention, say hello with some creativity please .
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