Why do a lot of people say someone's past doesn't matter when past behavior can dictate future behavior? (marry, woman)
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It seems a lot of people don't agree with talking about their past relationships or sexual history. But what if they happened to cheat in the past a few times or something of that nature. Isn't it fair to know about their past instead of just saying it doesn't matter & none of your business. I mean who would want to marry someone that cheated a bunch of times on their previous partner/partners? That would tell me that they would have a very high chance of doing it again.
The past does matter to a certain extent, but it needs to be taken in context of who the person is now.
Do I know how many sexual partners my husband had in the past? No, because to me it doesn't matter. Do I know whether he has been faithful? Yes, and that would have mattered to me. Any explanation for that probably wouldn't hold water for me.
I was a party girl growing up. Did that matter to my husband? No, because it is not who I am now and wouldn't affect our marriage.
Things depend on who long ago it was also.
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Most, if not all cheaters will openly admit to their infidelities , or reveal other sexual skeletons in the closet.
True. But couples usually start talking about their past, just in conversation..... I would like to say you get an idea, but everyone can be fooled.
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Most, if not all cheaters, will openly admit to their infidelities, or reveal other sexual skeletons in the closet.
Honestly, I highly doubt that. Some who cheated would probably say they cheated only once if they really did it more than once. Since most cheaters cheat more than once. If they do it once, they definitely are capable of doing it again & likely do. And no guy is going to admit he went to a bar every weekend in his college years/20s & had sex with a different woman each time. Or if a woman has had a lot of sexual partners & done some really kinky stuff, some lie or get offended if asked.
Honestly, I highly doubt that. Some who cheated would probably say they cheated only once if they really did it more than once. Since most cheaters cheat more than once. If they do it once, they definitely are capable of doing it again & likely do. And no guy is going to admit he went to a bar every weekend in his college years/20s & had sex with a different woman each time. Or if a woman has had a lot of sexual partners & done some really kinky stuff, some lie or get offended if asked.
Ops....what I meant was that cheaters "would not" openly admit.....
Ops....what I meant was that cheaters "would not" openly admit.....
lol makes more sense. That's the problem though & it's scary that most would lie but I guess they know no one would want them if they did unless it's with another cheater. But I'm sure as you're with them for awhile more & more things would come out as in to what type of person they really are.
It seems a lot of people don't agree with talking about their past relationships or sexual history. But what if they happened to cheat in the past a few times or something of that nature. Isn't it fair to know about their past instead of just saying it doesn't matter & none of your business. I mean who would want to marry someone that cheated a bunch of times on their previous partner/partners? That would tell me that they would have a very high chance of doing it again.
People spin the past to what they think others want to hear.
Ongoing, current behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
lol makes more sense. That's the problem though & it's scary that most would lie but I guess they know no one would want them if they did unless it's with another cheater. But I'm sure as you're with them for awhile more & more things would come out as in to what type of person they really are.
Unfortunately, its not till after you've gotten to know that person better do you see their true colors
And in most cases, by then, its too late.
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