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Just read a few threads about different form of cheating and the question always asked seems to be "Is it cheating?" According to what I've read on another thread about sexting with someone, the simple act of sending sexually explicit text messages and pictures is considered cheating. Seems a little harsh since there hasn't really been any physical contact but that's not the point. It got me thinking about some other things that men and women do that isn't quite as cut an dry when it comes to infidelity. For example....
Is watching pornography cheating? You're watching videos/pictures of other people having sex or whatever and no doubt touching yourself while watching and inevitably you'll reach your climax and clean up. You're having sexual thoughts about whatever you are watching so in a way it's also a form of infidelity.
What about reading or writing erotic fiction? Let's say you're the secret erotic fiction write that likes to write about their fantasies. Maybe you even take it one step further and publish such stories on a site for others to read and enjoy. Is that cheating?
What about the stray dirty thought that enters your mind when you are out and about? Say you're at the pool in Las Vegas and your cocktail waitress is the stuff of dreams ( as most of them tend to be in the nicer hotels on the strip). Her flawless body is scantily clad with the skimpiest bikini and any normal guy within site of her will no doubt take a peek or two. Is it cheating if he looks and wonders for a moment what it would be like to run your hands up those long tanned legs?
What about the occasional sex dream? You dream about doing something with someone. You can't control who invades your dreams or what happens in your dreams. Do you have to wake up the next morning and confess your nocturnal dream infidelity?
Just curious on where some of you draw the line....
This hits home with me, so I will explain it as I see it.
Watching porn is a one-way activity. You are watching nude girls performing sex acts, getting off, fantasizing, but it's one way. There's no emotional investment in the activity. You get off, and are done. And it's solo.
Sexting is an emotional investment AND an interaction with another human being.
Reading erotic fiction is about the same as porn as I see it.
Sexting, porn "chat rooms", phone sex, even lap dances at strip clubs, are cheating to me.
Just going to a strip club and not interacting with the women (hard to do, but possible) is not cheating IMHO.
It's the interaction and emotional investment you make in the activity that classifies it as cheating to me.
Just read a few threads about different form of cheating and the question always asked seems to be "Is it cheating?" According to what I've read on another thread about sexting with someone, the simple act of sending sexually explicit text messages and pictures is considered cheating. Seems a little harsh since there hasn't really been any physical contact but that's not the point. It got me thinking about some other things that men and women do that isn't quite as cut an dry when it comes to infidelity. For example....
Is watching pornography cheating? You're watching videos/pictures of other people having sex or whatever and no doubt touching yourself while watching and inevitably you'll reach your climax and clean up. You're having sexual thoughts about whatever you are watching so in a way it's also a form of infidelity.
What about reading or writing erotic fiction? Let's say you're the secret erotic fiction write that likes to write about their fantasies. Maybe you even take it one step further and publish such stories on a site for others to read and enjoy. Is that cheating?
What about the stray dirty thought that enters your mind when you are out and about? Say you're at the pool in Las Vegas and your cocktail waitress is the stuff of dreams ( as most of them tend to be in the nicer hotels on the strip). Her flawless body is scantily clad with the skimpiest bikini and any normal guy within site of her will no doubt take a peek or two. Is it cheating if he looks and wonders for a moment what it would be like to run your hands up those long tanned legs?
What about the occasional sex dream? You dream about doing something with someone. You can't control who invades your dreams or what happens in your dreams. Do you have to wake up the next morning and confess your nocturnal dream infidelity?
Just curious on where some of you draw the line....
Interesting question. I think I draw the line where there is personal, interactive contact with another person. When I watch porn, read erotic literature, have a dream... there is nobody at the other end. It's just me. When you are "sexting", there is you on one end and another person who is at the other end, somebody who is actively interacting with you. Interaction, that's the difference I think
For me, cheating involves a level of deception. If a couple has an open relationship, then having sex with someone else isn't necessarily cheating. For a couple who has an agreement to only watch porn together, one of them watching porn by themselves is cheating on their arrangement. Basically what others have said--if you wouldn't want your SO to find out what you're doing, it's probably cheating.
The definition of cheating is to act unfairly or dishonestly to gain an advantage. Does reading erotic lit on your own time deprive your partner or give you an advantage?
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