How long does it take to heal a broken heart? (dating, guys)
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. It seems to me that she is thinking about the future.
Unfortunately I think your right. It's just I can't help but feel like she thought I would be changed for life, which is not the case. It was a car vs me haha and I was on the street. I suffered from post-concussion syndrome and PTSD + anxiety. Both of which made life hell for me and more emotionally unstable. Fortunately I've conquered the PTSD and would say I'm 95% over PCS. Both of these are temporary and I know in that soon I'm going to be back to my 100%. My cognitive abilities are still rock solid and am definitely not disabled.
Other than that I just have a serious scar where my hand was split and severed the nerves. It's fully functional though I just have a lack of feeling.
I just finished college with a degree in biochemistry. I'm going all out for a job right now and just had a very successful interview and have more lined up next week. I know that I will get a job soon and I'm very qualified for the positions I've applied for. In 10 years my goal is to have a doctorate in something chemistry related and I have the potential to make pretty good money.
You can expect it will take at least a year to get most of the pain out of your system and that's a good thing. You want to be fair and objective with your next relationship/s and not use them to plug the hole in your heart. Don't start a new one while you are still in deep mourning.
There's good news, though. Since you maintained a healthy long-term relationship, you'll find it easier in the future, once you find the next true love. Don't rush it or push. When things feel right again, you will know it.
Do not see her anymore. All that will do is make you miss her more, so you need to cut off all contact. I know that is hard when you love her, but it is the only way. Contact gives you hope and keeps you clinging to her. There is no answer about when it will get better because it is different for everyone. Try to stay busy and look happy. One day you will wake up and really feel better. Sorry, you are going through this, but we all have been through heartbreak; it is very hard.
Do not see her anymore. All that will do is make you miss her more, so you need to cut off all contact. I know that is hard when you love her, but it is the only way. Contact gives you hope and keeps you clinging to her. There is no answer about when it will get better because it is different for everyone. Try to stay busy and look happy. One day you will wake up and really feel better. Sorry, you are going through this, but we all have been through heartbreak; it is very hard.
Thank you. Today I am going to do that and start the healing process, but not after one last meeting.
Is this a good or bad idea:
We were both pretty irrational when things ended, and I need it to end on a positive note. I'm going to tell her what I think I did wrong and how it wound't be permanent. Than I'm going to ask her once and only once, is there a chance we can get back together. If she says yes than I won the lottery but I'm prepared for the more likely no. I need that closure however and I'll regret it forever if I don't try. She left things way to open when we split, and wouldn't say if it was final or not, I need to know.
I know that there is a 5% chance of this working, and that's good enough for me. We had a deep love and she never stopped loving me the whole time; she made that very clear but she felt it was best that we separate despite that.
In the no scenario even though the pain will be hard I'm going to delete everything I have about her. There is no sense in pursuing what cannot be won and your right; I'm tired of clinging to that hope if it's foolish.
If it's a no your also right, it's way to soon for a rebound for me. I don't think I'm your standard guy, what made me the happiest in our relationship was making her as happy as can be, not even the sex (which was still good), but I also think I take longer to heal.
It's healthy to take the time you need to grieve and take steps you need to take to effectively cope with social situations and life's demands. Its not healthy to not grieve a loss of someone you loved, and it works against you if you suppress that sadness and jump back into everything immediately, pretending that you're over it.
If you allow yourself to feel vulnerable and come to terms naturally, you will eventually have peace about your parting ways, and hopefully be able to realize that all things come to an end and that you enjoyed your relationship while it lasted.
Take those good qualities you two had and in the future be able to love someone else again.
The rule of thumb is that it takes half the duration of the relationship to truly "get over someone," with the expectation that you haven't had contact with them during that time. More contact means it takes long to get over someone.. been there, done that. :/
The rule of thumb is that it takes half the duration of the relationship to truly "get over someone," with the expectation that you haven't had contact with them during that time. More contact means it takes long to get over someone.. been there, done that. :/
I don't really buy into that notion. It shouldn't take a year to get over a two year relationship. I was with my ex-husband for 13 years and it didn't take me 6.5 years to get over it. I'm five years out from when we split up and am remarried.
But you do make a great point about prolonged contact making it worse. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and can end up making choices that hurt ourselves worse than another person could hurt us.
About as long as it takes to get have good sex with the next person.
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