Partner in life or does life start when partnered?

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by jade408

An ex reached out to me recently. And i could never quite articulate why it didn't work. We had fun together, good chemistry, interesting banter... But something was missing.

I always want my boyfriend to be my partner in crime. But I realized this guy needed the women in his life to create a life for him. He wasn't inviting someone into his adventures. He was waiting around for a mate to create them. Life for him stopped and started depending on his relationship status.

So for me a good mate has his own life and adventures and wants to share. And I have my own to share. And we can create new ones together. But I'm not holding out until a mate shows up.

So are you having the adventures you have dreamed of? Or holding out till you have that someone to share them with?

My life started when I was born.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Very interesting Jade. Great thinking on many singles lives. As for me a little of both. I live my life but I think if I do ever find someone we both can create fun for each other to enjoy.

Totally agree...I can do things on my own, and I love sharing the things I love with someone else. But it is definitely a plus when that person also has things they can share...It's not my job to entertain him, or him to entertain me - we hopefully can share new things with each other.

[WildHeart22]

Originally Posted by jade408

So for me a good mate has his own life and adventures and wants to share. And I have my own to share. And we can create new ones together. But I'm not holding out until a mate shows up.

THIS.

I needed to see this post. Just reading it put some things into perspective for me.

Unfortunately, I was that guy you described (except I'm a girl). I have some of my own interests, but have kind of floated through life with no real passion. Wake up, work, sleep, repeat. I've always dealt with being very shy and having most of my college friends scattered around the country has made it hard for me to go out and meet new people or join things that seem interesting to me. I was the only thing standing in the way of myself.

For the first time ever, I started dating a guy last year. He had so much going on. Lots of things he was involved in, and he brought me into his world. Suddenly I went from sitting at home every weekend to going out, going to parties, and spending every weekend with him and the variety of his friends. He introduced me to so many new things and I loved every minute of it.

Then we broke up about 2 months ago.

And suddenly, my life went back to exactly how it was before we dated. Losing this new, exciting, and busy lifestyle was maybe just as devastating as losing him. But the experience showed me that life is so much better when you go after things you like.

I'm still struggling with getting used to my life being MY life and not revolving around anyone else. But I have started seeking out opportunities for things to get involved with more than I ever thought I was capable of.

I don't want to be the one waiting for life to start when I finally meet someone. I want to be the partner in crime that someone else is looking for.