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One of the reasons why I'm still with him as I genuinely love him he's one of the most understanding and empathetic people I know when he's not having attack. We share so many wonderful hobbies together and we have so, SO much in common. I just am so lost.
But he's had "600" of them in 2 years...at that rate think of what the next 20 or 50 years will be like.
That's situation depression, not a chronic depression, and it is completely understandable. I'm sorry for your loss.
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An HSP (highly sensitive person) is someone who is more sensitive to the world around them than most people. Accused of being neurotic, HSP's emotional/mental state is highly influenced by stimuli and emotions coming from other peoeple.
Sounds like pop-psych malarkey for people to excuse either high-empaths who can't control their tempers or narcissists who want to blame everyone and everything but themselves for their own bad moods and selfish temper tantrums.
Get rid of this guy. He's a headcase and not ready for any kind of adult relationship--if he ever will be.
Sounds like maybe you should return the favor? You both have issues.
Thank you. While reading this, I'm thinking, "Why is she blaming him for the issues? She escalated the situation."
OP, neither of you are healthy enough to be in this relationship IMO, but it seems that you haven't given him the same amount of support that he gave to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zennia
Sounds like pop-psych malarkey for people to excuse either high-empaths who can't control their tempers or narcissists who want to blame everyone and everything but themselves for their own bad moods and selfish temper tantrums.
Get rid of this guy. He's a headcase and not ready for any kind of adult relationship--if he ever will be.
What??
I agree it's best that they are not together, but the OP doesn't seem like she's ready for a relationship right now either.
Thank you. While reading this, I'm thinking, "Why is she blaming him for the issues? She escalated the situation."
OP, neither of you are healthy enough to be in this relationship IMO, but it seems that you haven't given him the same amount of support that he gave to you.
What??
I agree it's best that they are not together, but the OP doesn't seem like she's ready for a relationship right now either.
True, but she was asking about him, so my comments are about him. I don't think any amount of support from a partner would be good enough for him. That she feels she has to walk on eggshells around him is evidence of that.
I couldn't "love" someone like that in a romantic way either because I could never be myself so it would never be a real relationship. I don't think what you feel is love either, it's probably just your fear of being alone talking.
Sounds like pop-psych malarkey for people to excuse either high-empaths who can't control their tempers or narcissists who want to blame everyone and everything but themselves for their own bad moods and selfish temper tantrums.
Get rid of this guy. He's a headcase and not ready for any kind of adult relationship--if he ever will be.
Thank you. Yes, for the first time since he was a teen (he's 32) he is in ongoing therapy with a therapist he really jives with. He was diagnosed as a HSP a few weeks ago....the diagnosis has, in itself, really helped me to research and understand what a HSP is and how (much) they feel.
He was diagnosed with GAD as a teenager so I assumed it was just really bad anxiety. I had no idea of what actually drove those anxiety bursts. Yet I'm still not strong enough to shield myself from it.
I don't want to jump ship if he's making progress, which he is. But I need to find a way to keep myself mentally healthy too.
It is obvious OP..You need to get a sense and learn about tools of how to help him..and this means getting involved with his therapy..and thus help HIM defect things that trigger his over the top reactions and yu will gain self esteem knowing you are making a difference in the relationship as a whole!! Thus mutually beneficial
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
If you are going to stay with him (it's good he is in counseling) you need to go to counseling also so the problems do snowball.
Agreed
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeHa
HSPs are incredible people with serious emotional depth. They're caretakers to their very core and will put everyone else's needs before their own even to their own detriment.
They actually make amazing friends and romantic partners.
As I said earlier, it goes back to knowing you are an HSP (which is challenging, especially for a male since intense emotion is considered a weakness) and learning how to tap into your feelings and how to manage them.
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