New Relationship Dilemmas: Guy overly compliments and wants to see me 24/7 (date, sociopath)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CCUGal
UPDATE: It's over.
So...he was successful at giving me my space but there were major red flags in other areas. Let's count them.
1. He wanted to be my boyfriend after a week of knowing each other.
2. He said "I LOVE YOU" (WTF) only after knowing each other for 10 days.
3. He was extremely cheap to the point it was disturbing. Let me explain. So apparently in Germany (and in Europe) it is normal for men and women to split the costs on dates and everything else. Well, he expected that from me here. Never in my life have I had to pay for one date nor has any man asked me to pay for a date. When I told him that it is not normal in America for women to pay, he seemed very uncomfortable with this. Now, understand this everyone. He is an engineer. His company pays for his housing and car. He is not poor. It's not like I'm asking to go out every night but he literally would not want to take me out to dinner or do ANYTHING and find reasons to do things for free...like walk in the park or go to the mall to walk around. Just thinking about this makes me speechless.
Get out of here with this. I pay for early dates, but in almost every relationship I have we take turns or split costs after the initial dates. That's the norm in America when the people involved are equals.
Get out of here with this. I pay for early dates, but in almost every relationship I have we take turns or split costs after the initial dates. That's the norm in America when the people involved are equals.
What's with the "norm" stuff? Because that's what you do, it's the "norm"?
OP, there is no "norm" with this. It's what the parties determine for themselves. For the record, I'm with you that this guy just seems cheap, and I too would be put off by someone who did this. With that being said, I would suggest getting rid of the notion that there's any "norm" with dating. It boils down to the compatibility of the individuals.
Get out of here with this. I pay for early dates, but in almost every relationship I have we take turns or split costs after the initial dates. That's the norm in America when the people involved are equals.
Ok....well that's you. But we only went out for less than 2 weeks. Like I said, no guy ever had a problem paying for me. I do not see a problem paying for things later in the relationship but everyone who I have told. this story to has said he is cheap.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
What's with the "norm" stuff? Because that's what you do, it's the "norm"?
OP, there is no "norm" with this. It's what the parties determine for themselves. For the record, I'm with you that this guy just seems cheap, and I too would be put off by someone who did this. With that being said, I would suggest getting rid of the notion that there's any "norm" with dating. It boils down to the compatibility of the individuals.
Save it. You're attempts to troll me aren't going to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCUGal
Ok....well that's you. But we only went out for less than 2 weeks. Like I said, no guy ever had a problem paying for me. I do not see a problem paying for things later in the relationship but everyone who I have told. this story to has said he is cheap.
No, that's not just me. That's effectively everyone I've ever known/met across the country.
That said, two weeks is just met territory and that's different. But you've said you've NEVER paid for a date. So have you just never actually had a relationship? Because it would be HIGHLY unusual for two equals who are dating to have one person always treat throughout the course of a relationship.
What's with the "norm" stuff? Because that's what you do, it's the "norm"?
OP, there is no "norm" with this. It's what the parties determine for themselves. For the record, I'm with you that this guy just seems cheap, and I too would be put off by someone who did this. With that being said, I would suggest getting rid of the notion that there's any "norm" with dating. It boils down to the compatibility of the individuals.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
Pardon me?
I was simply making a point that there is no "norm", as "norm" implies what someone should be doing, the "right way", if you will.
If you interpret what I said as attempting to "troll you" (whatever that means), I can't help you with that.
Incorrect. The "norm" does not imply anything of the sort. You're incorrect with that word, just as you were incorrect with what "allow" means yesterday.
Incorrect. The "norm" does not imply anything of the sort. You're incorrect with that word, just as you were incorrect with what "allow" means yesterday.
Definitions are critical for communication.
OMG stop arguing on my post! It's just annoying now.
No, that's not just me. That's effectively everyone I've ever known/met across the country.
That said, two weeks is just met territory and that's different. But you've said you've NEVER paid for a date. So have you just never actually had a relationship? Because it would be HIGHLY unusual for two equals who are dating to have one person always treat throughout the course of a relationship.
Ermmm no. I was married for several years and have been on plenty of dates since the marriage ended.
Op sounds crazy... Me and op would never work out, I dont like paying for things I can do myself. A woman will be like, buy me a burger and I will show up with two packets of flour, beef, eggs, tomatoes, and a meat grinder..
No, my wife is not my daughter. I will buy anything my daughter wants, but as an adult, you should take care of yourself. I am not your father, I am your husband.
But perhaps this is why Im single. A grown person expecting me to buy them food? Like, seriously, wtf? Are you a child?
Some of these women aren't looking for husbands, they are looking for fathers.
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