Question for single guys in their 40's (marrying, family, children)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, hindsight is always 20/20. I did learn a very important thing about myself, and that is where my communication issues with women came from. I set out to fix those and am a better man for it. However, I just hate that it took a divorce for that to happen, especially late in life.
I definitely need to move, and am trying to. It just takes 6 months to a year to find something suitable in my field, and I have to be careful not to make a poor decision as I have in the past. I'm far from arrogant, but I am a bit of a unicorn. I mean, I'm a professional, relationship minded, family oriented, loyal, work hard on communication and improving myself, in shape, have my hair, 6'0" (women's minimum height requirement, which is ridiculous), etc. But there just aren't many single women here, and the ones who are single are in their 20's, which is too young for me. I don't want a divorced 30 something year old with 3 kids, and usually they have no less than 2. Additionally, the women here let themselves go bad. Lastly, I'm considered old at this point. Ugh.
Had to laugh at this post. I never heard the 6'0" height requirement. Actually being tall has hurt me with women. I am 6'4", but with a pair of cowboy boots (or anything with a heel) it jacks me up to 6'5" or 6'6" tall and good luck finding a woman who is under 6' that wants a 6'6" guy.
Also, I am guessing you are mid 40's and I can tell you I just hit 55 and age has not been a problem for me in dating at all. Hang in there, you will find someone.
Had to laugh at this post. I never heard the 6'0" height requirement. Actually being tall has hurt me with women. I am 6'4", but with a pair of cowboy boots (or anything with a heel) it jacks me up to 6'5" or 6'6" tall and good luck finding a woman who is under 6' that wants a 6'6" guy.
Also, I am guessing you are mid 40's and I can tell you I just hit 55 and age has not been a problem for me in dating at all. Hang in there, you will find someone.
You must not have done online dating. I swear to you its in 90% of women's profiles that the height requirement is 6'0", even if she's 5'2". Not a problem since I meet that requirement. In person, I'm sure its a different story. People can't guess someone's height exactly. In person, I think they just want you to be taller than they are with heels on.
I'm now in my late 40's (47). Wish I could turn back time 10 years. I'd have much better luck. However, its exactly 10 years ago last month that I married the wrong woman.
I am not a man and not in my 40s but I still think the question applies to me.
All friends are happily married and/or have kids. Weekends and holidays were horrible when I was single, I almost feared them.
I went hiking - alone. I went motorcycle riding - alone. I went sightseeing in LA - alone. I went to the beach - alone. I worked out and watched a lot of movies. Went to a few meetup events but that wasn't much fun either.
Very depressing. Never really met anybody while doing any activities.
Yes, hindsight is always 20/20. I did learn a very important thing about myself, and that is where my communication issues with women came from. I set out to fix those and am a better man for it. However, I just hate that it took a divorce for that to happen, especially late in life.
I definitely need to move, and am trying to. It just takes 6 months to a year to find something suitable in my field, and I have to be careful not to make a poor decision as I have in the past. I'm far from arrogant, but I am a bit of a unicorn. I mean, I'm a professional, relationship minded, family oriented, loyal, work hard on communication and improving myself, in shape, have my hair, 6'0" (women's minimum height requirement, which is ridiculous), etc. But there just aren't many single women here, and the ones who are single are in their 20's, which is too young for me. I don't want a divorced 30 something year old with 3 kids, and usually they have no less than 2. Additionally, the women here let themselves go bad. Lastly, I'm considered old at this point. Ugh.
That's awesome that you're learning your communication shortcomings. Too many people carry the same issues from one relationship to the next and then wonder why thing always end up the same.
Maybe you're being too picky? It looks like there are single women in OKC but they're not meeting your requirements. Most divorced women in their 30s are going to have kids. That's not going to change no matter where you are. I got divorced at 34 and am 36 now. What helped me was getting out of my comfort zone and dating a variety of women, even ones I wouldn't consider long term material. What that did for me was get me away from some checklist-esque list of requirements for a potential partner and helped me look for the kind of things that I really want in a relationship. I found out that things like age and previous children weren't nearly as important as things like respect and communication.
As far as OKC, I've never lived there but I do live in Ft Worth and sometimes visit friends up in OKC. Personally, I like the area but am happy I don't live there. But even if I did, it's not too hard to find singles there. I personally do better with the locals than I do people not from Oklahoma. I'm originally from Atlanta and they find me somewhat exotic since I have a deep Southern accent. Works for me.
I can relate to this exactly. I am 39, divorced, no kids and I live in an area that is not my birthplace. And the few friends I do have around here are married or in long term relationships. Granted I can see them from time to time, but it gets old being a third wheel. So I have tried my best over the years to enjoy my own company. I go out to eat by myself, movies by myself, musicals, sporting events, drive to the city all alone. And it doesn't bother me, except in the winter time and the holidays. There are less things to do in the winter time that I enjoy, and the holidays just suck. Last year I was in a relationship during that time, so it wasn't bad, but this year that won't be the case, and I am already getting moody just thinking about it.
I also understand how hard it is to meet people in a new town. Every time I go out, and see people I try and strike up a conversation, and I have joined meet up groups and such, but it doesn't get me anywhere. People are not as trusting about opening themselves up to new people as they used to. And as you get older it gets difficult to find places within your age range to meet single people. At the end of the day, my best advice is to hope for better luck that things can change and keep trying to come out of your shell and meet as many people as you can. I understand all of your frustrations, and I know it's not as easy as people believe it is, but you can't allow yourself to be depressed about it.
Keep giving it go, and hopefully others will be attracted to the positive energy you are giving off, and be willing to know you a little better.
You must not have done online dating. I swear to you its in 90% of women's profiles that the height requirement is 6'0", even if she's 5'2". Not a problem since I meet that requirement. In person, I'm sure its a different story. People can't guess someone's height exactly. In person, I think they just want you to be taller than they are with heels on.
I'm now in my late 40's (47). Wish I could turn back time 10 years. I'd have much better luck. However, its exactly 10 years ago last month that I married the wrong woman.
I turn 40 next year and I'm not having a great time either. Unless you're a rich guy it does not get easier for a guy as we age. Also the height requirement is real!!! OLD will officially make you lose all faith in women because it's mostly the ultra picky women trying to date out of their league. I don't consider them normal women lol they are a breed of their own, and single for a reason.
It's amazing how shallow many women are yet supposedly women are the gender that look for the right things and just want true love. Yeah right. What a load of bunk. The money, height, and looks requirement are all real. I should have stayed with my ex even though we weren't completely compatible, there was a lot of good things about her. It's probably something that's going to haunt me for a long time but perhaps it was still the right decision for us to break up.
In my opinion I should be dating like 6 women at once if I want to be, but I think it's partially due to my standards...they are high but not unreasonable I don't think. Quality over quantity imo. My area sucks for dating as a guy I know guys that live in big cities in Texas and Arizona and they have so many options it's not even funny. My area is one of the areas with an infux of males in the oil/gas industry so it makes the pool way harder to compete in. Way too big of a sausagefest.
I never in a million years would have thought that dating in LA is so difficult. That area is packed with singles, thousands of people on OLD but it is impossible to find anybody. How can that be???
Everybody seems so self absorbed and busy with themselves. If i go motorcycle riding, I run into tons of guys, I bet some are single. THey all look away or act cold if I try to talk to them. Instead, I have to weirdos on my a$$. And no, I am not too picky. I have been told that the others are too shy to react when I look at them. I can't believe that is true. Do I have to be a creeper, staring them down to get them to talk to me? Sit in their face to make clear I am interested?
Friends told me the guys I am interested in think that they are below my level and don't react. It is the curse of being somewhat pretty but not super pretty - being in between means the average guys think they are not hot enough and the hot ones want a prettier girl.
I never in a million years would have thought that dating in LA is so difficult. That area is packed with singles, thousands of people on OLD but it is impossible to find anybody. How can that be???
Everybody seems so self absorbed and busy with themselves. If i go motorcycle riding, I run into tons of guys, I bet some are single. THey all look away or act cold if I try to talk to them. Instead, I have to weirdos on my a$$. And no, I am not too picky. I have been told that the others are too shy to react when I look at them. I can't believe that is true. Do I have to be a creeper, staring them down to get them to talk to me? Sit in their face to make clear I am interested?
Friends told me the guys I am interested in think that they are below my level and don't react. It is the curse of being somewhat pretty but not super pretty - being in between means the average guys think they are not hot enough and the hot ones want a prettier girl.
From what I understand L.A. is one of the best areas to be a single woman in. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. The type of woman you describe yourself as is the exact type of woman everyone looks for in my region and it's very hard to find.
I never in a million years would have thought that dating in LA is so difficult. That area is packed with singles, thousands of people on OLD but it is impossible to find anybody. How can that be???
Everybody seems so self absorbed and busy with themselves. If i go motorcycle riding, I run into tons of guys, I bet some are single. THey all look away or act cold if I try to talk to them. Instead, I have to weirdos on my a$$. And no, I am not too picky. I have been told that the others are too shy to react when I look at them. I can't believe that is true. Do I have to be a creeper, staring them down to get them to talk to me? Sit in their face to make clear I am interested?
Friends told me the guys I am interested in think that they are below my level and don't react. It is the curse of being somewhat pretty but not super pretty - being in between means the average guys think they are not hot enough and the hot ones want a prettier girl.
You have a boyfriend that I thought you were going to marry. Why do you care at this point?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
